Embracing New Beginnings Amidst Life's Complexities 195

Life-Changing Announcement on Podcast

Speaker 1 0:01

If you're asking me , last week's episode of Share the Struggle podcast was one of the greatest episodes we have ever recorded , one of the most positive , transparent messages we have ever delivered . We made a life-changing announcement to the podcast listener before we told most of our family and friends . Before we told most of our family and friends . We wanted to share the news with everyone , because that is just how much we appreciate everyone that listens from week to week . This is episode 195 . Many of you have been here since episode one . It meant so much to us to share something so exciting with all of you , so today we're going to peel back the onion a little bit . Let's discuss this life changing news and the roller coaster of emotions . I've been trying to process All that and more on today's episode of Share the struggle podcast . Let me tell you something everybody struggles . The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it . The choice is completely yours . Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life . If you find strength in the struggle , then this podcast is for you . Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations ? Uncomfortable conversations challenge you humble you and they build you . When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it and they build you . When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it , it all makes sense . Most disagreements , they stem from our own insecurities . You are right where you need to be time . We'd eat a bad lunch the whole day gone running behind . Ooh , ooh , ooh , ooh . What it do . What it do , hot diggity . Damn , am I so excited to be back with you . What it do , baby boo , episode 195 . And I hope y'all be feeling alive . 195 , dude . You believe this . Are you believing this man ? I don't know where that energy came from this morning , but we're just like a little over a month away from 200 episodes . Are we gonna keep this consecutive streak alive ? Are we gonna make it all the way to 200 ? You bet your rosy red ass cheeks . We are . I don't . I ain't seeing your ass . I don't know if it's rosy , if it's red , I I really don't . I really don't know , but it's all I could think of in that little memento right there . So , before we get rocking and rolling , y'all know what we do . If you're a day one , if you're an original one , get your ones up . Get them up right now , whether you're driving to work , you're on the treadmill , the elliptical , you're on the couch , you're out raking mulch , I don't know . Get your ones up , baby . Thank you for being with me on this voluptuous , fabulous ride that we've been on . I appreciate each and every one of you . Thank you , thank you , thank you . If this is your first episode , then welcome , and I suggest you also maybe go back and listen to last week's episode . Maybe , if you haven't listened to last week's episode , before we spoil anything , maybe just back on out of this episode . I never encourage people to leave , but maybe it would just make more sense if you backed on out of this episode and then pushed play on last week's episode , number 194 .

Speaker 1 3:58

I was joined by my lovely wife and we made a life-changing announcement . Because we're going to dig into that today , we're going to peel back the onion , we're going to center in on the core of my fears a little bit , and there's something amazing about having a little one coming along the way making that announcement , it being our first child and looking to all the wonderment of parenthood . It also gives great content to a podcast . Am I right ? For somebody that's always struggling to find something to talk about . I think we have guaranteed content in the oven right now . The wifey is baking a blessing of content and topics and discussions .

Speaker 1 4:47

I got a feeling the consecutive recording streak might greatly be challenged in the coming months . Once that little one is here trying to navigate . All that Could be challenging . We might have some crying on the podcast . That's actually not from the host this time , but actually from our kid in the background . I don't know . We'll do our best with that .

Speaker 1 5:11

I've got to say there's a great sense of relief in getting the news out to all of you because , man , we're so close , y'all we are so close that I felt like I was hiding something from you . I felt that I was betraying your trust and I hope you understand , I hope you do forgive me because it was doctor's orders . Okay , doctor's orders . They said don't let this out . Don't let it out . But to make up for that delay and the news that we got to share last week , I got , to be honest , we told y'all listeners before we told most of our family and friends . So VIPs right to the head of the line , if you know what I'm saying . So , speaking of VIPs and you guys getting all the information before most . Everybody got that information . That is because we made our official announcement . I guess things are official when you go .

Speaker 1 6:13

Social media official , right ? Isn't that how the way the world is now ? New couples start dating . Hey , boo , yeah . So like are you serious with me , boo ? Are we booed up ? You know we're going to be like Facebook boos . We're going to make the status change on our social medias . Are we sugar ? It's so true . That's what that's like , the new world we live in . Man , everybody , that big vote of confidence when you get the Facebook status change to in a relationship . And then all the people that really don't give a shit because they never see you and they only talk to you when it's your birthday . They have to go click on that person , right , and go , let's see what this bitch is about . Let's Patricia , let's see what this bitch is about . Let's Patricia , let's see what Patricia be like . Okay , she's probably some kind of Patricia Percocet princess . Look at her . Oh , but I am way off the tracks , absolutely off the tracks today . But it's true , it's a whole new world we live in , right ? It's funny .

Speaker 1 7:24

The wife was watching this uh , new cowboy series that her and my mom are hooked on and , um , there's some good stuff in there , but there's also some annoying stuff . The owner is a complete douche aroony and , uh , he has these , these sons , that are literally loaded because they have this massive business empire that starts with farming . But it was kind of funny to hear the boys are struggling . They're trying to find the confidence to one's looking to ask his long-term girlfriend to marry him . Another one , and on again , off again . Actually , both of them in these on again , off again relationships are , you know , asking for the commitment , like there's so much pressure put on them to make an official term . And one of the boys that's on there I think he was on like some kind of like farming bachelor show .

Speaker 1 8:21

I don't freaking know , but all the girls are talking about their significant others instagram profiles look like they're single , the perception that they're single and that they , you know , are just literally one of them . They took a photo together , they edited it and posted it on their social media and then his phone just started ringing like what do you ? What are you guys trying to announce ? That is a wild world , that a photo now sparks the conversation of an announcement . It's wild . And to think that people go on each other's social media pages and then kind of creep through them to determine if they're single or not and looking for that status clarification

Easter Announcement Controversy and Displeasure

Speaker 1 9:01

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Speaker 1 9:01

So let's just say we fell into that trap with our announcement , right ? I mean , we had to go Facebook official . That's the best way . The easiest way to tell the entire world is to just put things out there . So , ironically , as I'm recording the podcast , there's a giant basket next to us . That was part of our baby announcement . There's a sign here that my wife made up this is two of a kind working on a full house . And there's a sign here that my wife made up this is two of a kind working on a full house . And there's a onesie in the basket from Loud Proud American , the little rodeo onesie . It says actually , this is my first rodeo . There's some cowboy boots . You might have seen this nice little ensemble on the internet . So we took this photo , we staged this ourselves and tried to edit it and post it out there , and that's how we went public with our social media posts and that post went out on Easter . So even more fitting that we used a basket . Am I right for an Easter basket ?

Speaker 1 9:57

But this conversation on Easter I'm going to take one quick , super hard , right , turn right here and get something off my chest . When it comes to Easter and the Easter that we just experienced and I hope I don't discourage some of y'all listeners from sticking with me here but I became rather annoyed with something on Easter . Something bothered me on Easter . There's a couple part story here that I want to take us down real quick , and that's that on Easter morning I actually was cruising the socials right , we seem to have a social media theme today , unfortunately , we'll try to get away from that in a moment here here but I found all these people having just spiraling down rabbit holes of fiery emotions okay , which I think that's a great description of social media .

Speaker 1 10:54

But I saw a press release I guess you could call it from whitehousegov that was on my X timeline and it's Joseph Biden Jr and this says Now , therefore , I , joseph R Biden Jr , president of the United States of America , by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States , do hereby proclaim March 31st , 2024 as Transgender Day of Visibility . I call upon all Americans to join us in lifting up the lives and voices of transgender people throughout our nation and to work toward eliminating violence and discrimination based on gender identity . And then there's a witness on here . So let's just say a few things . Number one hand on the Cabela's catalog , eye to the sky true confession from this guy I accept and love all people . Okay , I'm just putting that out there . I believe in equal rights for transgender . I believe in calling for a stop to discrimination . I'm not one to discriminate anybody . You live how you want to live . You believe what you want to believe . I'm not going to deny and defy anything that you say and do and want to do .

Speaker 1 12:14

What I do have an issue with is making Easter a transgender holiday . Now , I've done a little bit of research on this and I found some articles that said this actually started back in 2009 , and , as the dates can revolve and change , that there was a chance that it would fall on Easter and that it won't happen again until like 2086 , let's say so . There's that portion of the argument that I've seen online , and then I've also can just quote what I'm looking at here , which that statement sounds to me and reads to me like something that was just signed into law . So that's kind of suspicious to me . And on Easter , instead of coming out and making dignity and respect . Joe Biden . I um , how do I put this ? Please don't take offense to this , but you're a fucking joke . Okay , you are an absolute joke . This is Easter On Easter .

Speaker 1 13:50

Do I have to explain the meaning of Easter right now ? Do we have to pull out a Bible ? Do we need to go to school over the meaning of Easter ? In no way , shape or form is this an opportunity to shed light on a transgender day of visibility . There's 365 days in a year . You couldn't have avoided this by taking a day that doesn't have the possibility of falling on easter . I I'm just saying , by the art of a calendar , we probably could have figured out this , this little trick-a-rooney here . We could could have avoided all this .

Speaker 1 14:27

That's the length of the statement he made on his Twitter , his ex account for Transgender Visibility Day . In honor of Easter , he says to all those gathering in churches and homes around the world happy Easter . May God bless and keep you . That's it . That's it . Mother trucker , you're going to give us a three-line response like , hey , happy Easter . He's a fucking smack in the ass . Get out there and play in the yard .

Speaker 1 14:55

But let me write a textbook explanation to shine light on a transgender day of visibility . Oh my God , it just fires me up , man . Can we not have anything as Christians ? Are we not allowed to have that ? I don't get it . I find this completely offensive y'all . I don't know if anybody else agrees with me on this , but to peel back the onion a little bit , to dig into this a little bit more , there's also an announcement that for the Easter egg roll which they have at the White House every year , that Joe Biden banned religious markings from eggs . You can't draw a cross on an egg for a religious holiday . Thanks to Joe Biden , oh my God . There was a statement from the Trump campaign and it says of Trans Visibility Day on Easter Sunday . It's appalling and insulting that Joe Biden's White House prohibited children from submitting religious eggs for their Easter art and formally proclaimed Easter Sunday as Trans Day of Visibility . Sadly , these are just two more examples of Biden administration's year-long assault on Christian faith . We call on Joe Biden's failing campaign in the White House to issue an apology to the millions of Catholics and Christians across America who believe .

Speaker 1 16:32

Tomorrow is for the celebration only the resurrection of Jesus Christ . You guys can say and believe what you want to believe . You can vote for whoever you want to vote for . But , man , if this doesn't affect the way you see your candidates , the way you view your presidency , I don't know . Man , I guess we look at life just a little bit different , and that's okay . We're allowed to look at life differently , man , we certainly are , and that's completely fine , totally fine . But it absolutely blows my mind , um , that we're going to use easter to now declare a holiday of trans visibility .

Speaker 1 17:14

Like I said , I'm all for for trans and and and whatever sexual preference you have . That's what you want . I'm not here to dispute it . I don don't believe that transgender should be competing in sports against other women . There's a whole uprising about that . We've talked about Riley Gaines here before , where you have these men that have failed in their sports , that are now going to proclaim themselves trans and go compete in women's sports and set collegiate records and all these things . That shouldn't happen .

Speaker 1 17:49

I don't understand how we can sit back and think that that's an okay idea and this White House believes in it and says that that's an okay thing . I don't agree with that one bit . We're all entitled to our freedoms and to our rights , but when we are how do I put this correctly here when we are punishing somebody else's opportunities , when we're diminishing somebody else's opportunities and abilities to benefit another . That's not equal rights . That's not what freedom is all about . We don't put women at a disadvantage against transgenders to give transgenders an opportunity and a right . That's nothing about . That is equal . I don't understand how that can't be understood .

Speaker 1 18:40

But to have this come out on Easter whether this law was in effect in 2009 , like some of the articles I read , or it was just signed in like the piece of paper I looked at , the fact is there's a clear opportunity to avoid this by not doing it on Easter . If you want to have this holiday number one , it's not fair to the people you're trying to have it for when you throw it down on Easter , because all that is is another opportunity to create a more divisive America , and I think that that , maybe , is the reason for it . I think maybe the White House made this change , or made this announcement , not so much for the recognizing of a transgender day , not so much for the downplaying of a religious holiday , but knowing that if we do it on this day , we're going to create a whirlwind of anger on a day where anger doesn't belong . We're going to do one more thing to divide our population , to ignite our communities and to rage . It's crazy . If I was president and this was something that was signed in , you know what I would have done ? I would have changed the date . Simple as that . You want to have your day ? That's great . Not today , this is Easter . This is Easter , it's always been Easter , it'll always be Easter . We're not going to rewrite the Bible because your feelings are hurt . You understand . This is Easter and if I want to play things fair , then both of us deserve our day . If you want to keep this day , then you deserve to have your day , your visibility day , on a different one . Leave Easter alone , man .

Speaker 1 20:44

While I'm on this topic , there was another thing that happened I believe it was last week as well where there was a wake and a funeral service for an officer in New York . I believe it was New York City Officer Diller , I believe , was his name . This gentleman had a wife and a family and he had stopped somebody for a traffic stop and he was murdered on a traffic stop . He was murdered by a criminal , a lifelong criminal , that had been previously released from jail 21 times . Now , what I want to tell you is that so-called President Biden didn't call this family , didn't reach out to this widow , to this mother , to this family , and have a conversation . He actually decided to on the day of his actual wake . On this officer's wake , biden threw a campaign rally , a fundraiser , and that fundraiser was attended in the same city by the president and former president , bill Clinton and Barack Obama . They together had this campaign rally that raised millions and millions of dollars for his upcoming presidential campaign . So you have three presidents , slash former presidents , having a rally to raise money for Biden's reelection , and they're all sitting on stage at this time . They're taking shots at former President Trump . Do you want to know where former President Trump was ? He was at the wake for Officer Diller . He had already met with his wife and his family and he was at the wake for that fallen officer .

Reflections on Beliefs and Reflections

Speaker 1 22:44

If you're asking me , these are two vastly different people and I'm not making this podcast as a political soapbox , but you can probably tell by the tone of my voice and the meaning and the message . You can probably bank on where my vote goes come November . Gotcha , alright , alright , alright . Sorry about that y'all . I really didn't intend to go on a political rant there . I didn't intend to get all hot and bothered , but when that stuff's just scrolling up on your timeline sometimes you've got to respond to it and I don't think there's any business for anything other than the meaning of the holiday , you know . Other than the meaning of the holiday , you know . I just feel like we lose focus on some of these things and it's not fair to all of us that believe in the meaning of Easter to have our beliefs distracted in any way , so just want to put that out there .

Speaker 1 24:02

And again , I apologize on the political stuff , but what I can tell you is I am who I am Like me , love me or hate me . I believe what I believe and I am not afraid to share what I believe , and that's part of what makes me a loud , proud American and that's part of what should make you a loud , proud American is to be proud of your country and to not be ashamed , to have the ability to be loud in what your beliefs are and to say what it is you believe . If you don't believe with my beliefs , then that's fine and you're allowed to be loud about it and you're allowed to be proud about it , because those are just some of the great benefits that come from being an American , some of the great , amazing freedoms that we have . But I caution each and every one of us that the more that we let things slide by that , the more opportunity is created for our freedoms to be taken from us , and that is something that , no matter what we believe in individually , we should all stand for together , united , as a united front , that you can't take our freedoms , and that's what so much of this podcast and this brand is all about . But here I am again already getting fired up , and that's not the point . What I should be saying is Happy Easter . I hope each and every one of you had an absolute blessed day . You had some time for reflection and some time for enjoyment with your family , and I certainly had that opportunity , and I'm thankful for that opportunity .

Speaker 1 25:33

As I said , we made the announcement about our expecting bundle of joy , and so we had a day filled with conversations , with great , positive conversations from so many people . So it was an exciting time for us , obviously , and we actually my mother and I tend to go to her parents' cemetery , my grandparents' on holidays , and you know we made the announcement and then , shortly after , we were at the cemetery with my , my grandparents and out for a walk um through the cemetery and just kind of sharing stories and things and trying to bring a little piece of the announcement and the holiday and the special day it being easter to my grandparents and to share those , those moments , the only way that we're allowed to share them right , because they're they're not here with us physically , but they certainly are spiritually and I feel connected to them when I'm there . So that's part of the day that we had . But as we make this announcement and we put things out there , I have this great sense of relief that now I can openly discuss these things freely , because if you guys that are listening are some of the loyal listeners that have been along this ride whether it's been day one , 194 episodes ago or if you've been with us over the past couple of months , I hope that our announcement last week , as exciting and joyful as it is , also sheds a little bit of light on some of the weight of my worldeds a little bit of light on some of the weight of my world and a little bit of light on some of the discussions and conversations we've been having over the past couple of months , because you have heard me struggle through a lot

Navigating Grief and New Fatherhood

Speaker 1 27:19

of things .

Speaker 1 27:19

You have heard me talk about the weight of a decision to stay in business , to chase a dream or to take security and comfort of a nine to five . I've had an episode on here where I talked about having that fire outside , where I'm burning all the memories and connections to my old business , my old life , my old self and trying to free myself from those things and how that turned into just a great amount of thought and a difficult evening trying to decide hey , should I be chasing this dream or should I be ? Am I selfish for chasing this dream ? Am I putting this extra weight on my family ? I hope now that you hear the announcement you understand a little bit more that I've kind of cored in on the center of this onion . We've peeled back the layers and you now understand what's happening for me , because the weight of my world , everything in my life , the foundations of my life , some of the most profound things that can happen to you in life , have happened to me in a matter of three months . Think about this In life , you always hear that one of the best , greatest , most amazing accomplishments you can ever have is to have the birth of a child , to bring a little one into this world , and one of the most difficult trying times you can possibly have is saying goodbye to one of your parents .

Speaker 1 28:45

So for me , I lost my dad in November . We had his service in December and on his birthday in January I found out I was going to be a dad . Can you change my world and my life any more in 30 days ? I don't want to put that challenge out there because I'm sure there's a way for it to be greater than it already has been . I pray that it isn't .

Speaker 1 29:14

But what I can tell you is those are monumental changes in my life . I've lost a pillar in my life , one of my biggest supporters in my life , my biggest heroes in my life . I lost my dad and I found out that I'm going to be a dad . There's a vicious cycle that happens in your mind and in your heart when you know that my dad's dying wish was for a grandson . One of my dad's biggest hopes and goals and dreams in life was to see me with a son , was to help me raise my son , was for him to spend time with his grandson , and it's a real catch-22 battle to know that you fulfilled your dad's dream . You fulfilled one of your father's goals , but you did it a couple weeks too late .

Speaker 1 30:15

That's a vicious cycle that goes from a triumphant feeling of accomplishment to the darkest disappointment that I'm never going to have those moments with our generations right that , those generations , that tree that's important to me , of my father and me and my son . Um , man , that hurts , that hurts , and I've struggled with that because there's a lot of guilt that also comes with that and I hope I'm not sounding like a crybaby here . That's not the point I'm letting you guys into all that is me . I'm excited to be a father . I'm scared shitless to be a father .

Speaker 1 31:05

One of the biggest fears in my life was to not have a legacy , to not have someone that I could help raise and that I could pour all of me into and that I could pass on all of my accomplishments , all of my earnings , all of my belongings , my memories , my stories . To not have somebody to pass all that on to , to not continue this proud family legacy that I feel like my father has given to me . One of my biggest fears in life was never accomplishing that . So this is building up to be one of my greatest accomplishments in life . I'm incredibly excited about the possibility right , about what's to come , but it's also rather depressing to think that I'm accomplishing all these things . But why couldn't I have not just sped this up and done this a little bit sooner , so my dad could be a part of it ? The peace that comes from this is knowing that it's not my timing , it's God's timing . It's not what's happening . This roller coaster I'm on , this isn't my plan , this is God's plan and I'm doing my best to fulfill it . And I truly feel that my dad has a great hand in this and I truly feel that this whole pregnancy and this birth and everything is going to be a blessing and it's going to be a success , because I feel like my dad met my son before me and that he picked him out for me and this is what he believes to be perfect for me , and I take great peace in that .

Speaker 1 32:50

So there's this inner battle that you have , and I think it all gets magnified when you're trying to learn how to grieve , and we've had these episodes over the past few weeks where I'm at a loss for grief . Right , I'm watching a wrestling documentary and it hits me . I realize that I haven't mourned for my dad , I haven't processed this , I've been living in denial over this , I haven't accepted it right when I really truly haven't accepted my father's death and then a great friend , a brother to me , loses his father , and it brings it all back and I feel for him and his struggle and all these things are happening . It's great and there's this great sense of light in my life knowing that , hey , there's this big positive that's coming at you like a freight train . You're scared as shit , but this is a big positive and that has really helped me to get through all of this .

Speaker 1 33:47

But for those of you that are listening and this is all new to me , so forgive me if I'm off on the total left field here but for those of you that are listening , that are parents , was there a whirlwind of emotions for you ? Was there all these thoughts ? Were these , you know that fight or flight , adrenaline , feeling right when you're oh my God , I'm going to be a parent . Holy shit , I'm going to be a parent . Oh my God , I'm so excited . Holy shit , can I actually do this ? Were all those things happening for you ? Like , am I ready for this ? Can I handle this ? I'm excited for this , all those things ? So bottle that up and think about that for a minute .

Speaker 1 34:31

And now , how many of you parents out there have had to say goodbye to one of your parents or both of your parents or somebody close to you . What was the emotion like in losing one of the most influential , important peoples in your life , one of the people that gave you life ? How did you process that ? How did you move on from that ? How did you pick up the pieces from that ? What are all those thoughts that go on in your mind ? If you're like me , there's an overwhelming sense to want to make them proud , but there's also an overwhelming , crushing feeling on you that doesn't want to allow you to move . So if I am trying to process both of these bottles at the same time , if I'm trying to understand losing my dad and what I have to do to move on , to carry on to fulfill his shoes , to do the things , what I have to do to move on to carry on to fulfill his shoes , to do the things that he used to do , to step up and be that leader for my family , and then to understand you're about to grow the family , processing two of the largest amounts of doubt and thought that could ever happen in our lifetime .

Speaker 1 35:49

I'm processing all of that in a matter of three months . I'm trying to handle those things , those things in my life . They came to me all in a matter of months , and here I am trying to get this business off the ground . Here I am realizing that my business is struggling and that oftentimes it's failing and that you could really truly look at it as a failure . From time to time We've had great triumphs and we've also had great failures . And if you've listened to these podcast episodes over the past few months and now you reveal the other side of the coin , now you realize that well , this whole time that he's been struggling with his dad and he's been talking about all these big decisions and all these things in his life , he's also been holding on to some major news in his life , and I feel weird talking to the third person , but I'm trying to give a little insight into the reason for some of these episodes that have been happening .

Speaker 1 36:58

There's been a great , great debate in my mind over selfish insecurity , and what I mean by that is I often feel like chasing my dream for Loud , proud American to have my own business as an apparel brand that supports American manufacturing , that there is , without question , a great deal of selfishness in me chasing this business because the weight of the business doesn't fall just on me , it falls on the entire family . So let me kind of put this out there a little bit . We've talked about it before . If I'm gonna go um to a fair somewhere let's say I'm gone for a week or two weeks or whatever it might be for me to get there Uh , we , we operate a couple of vehicles , right , so I'm loading I used to be an ambulance , now we have a school bus that we have to get on the road . But , um , you know , I feel one vehicle all the way up with my product . My wife takes a truck and a and a camper and we hauled out together . And you know , we're setting up the camper , we're building the you know the event tent . We're out there . Um , you know , I remember July in Osprey Valley building a tent , um in 90 plus degree heat with my mother . I remember um cold nights building a tent in October in Freiburg with with my wife . I think about all the , all the struggle that happens here . Right , if I'm on the road with my wife , she's driving the camper . We're working together .

Speaker 1 38:39

These days of work fares can be a lot . They can be eight in the morning to eight at night , they can be nine in the morning to 10 at night , and that's just the hours that the fair is open . That's not including your stocking , restocking , shuffling , all these things that go into that . And then my wife's still working her 40 hour work week job . If my wife's on the road with me , then my father and my mother are home and they're taking care of the farm the horse , the pig , four dogs , cat , all that right . They're taking care of the farm stuff . And then my wife would come home and she would go to work and then my father would bring my mother up and she would spend time with me and then she would work with me . So you now take my dad out of this equation and he's not there to carry his share of the weight that keeps this business running .

Speaker 1 39:35

When you move that one piece now , all of a sudden it becomes that much more difficult , and then I can't help but feel incredibly selfish . If I'm relying on , depending on my pregnant wife to be driving a camper across the state , to be helping me set up , to be dedicating time to being at an event , and if my wife's with me at the event , then my mom is alone to handle her animals and our animals to handle all those chores , and my mom doesn't have a license , so one of us has to be around if she's going to make it to work . If I take my mother with me on the road , then I'm leaving my pregnant wife to take care of the entire farm by herself . It's a lot .

Speaker 1 40:22

There is a great deal of selfishness that goes into me running this business . So , as much as it's my hope and it's my dream , you can't help but feel selfish when you're placing your weight and your burden on those people that are close to you . So when I say you have the debate over selfishness and security , the security is I can take the weight of my business and my dream and my plan off of my entire family and I could provide a sense of security if I just went back to work , if I just took a job and I paid my bills and provided for my family . There's been this great debate in my mind , but I also know that if I stay true to who I am and I chase this dream and this pays off , that it could benefit our family in amazing ways . That instead of placing the weight on the family , it can relieve the burden from the family , because I have visions of this business providing for the entire family , for making this entire thing work , and now that I have a little one on the way , I have hopes , dreams and aspirations that someday this business could be for him and I think about the journeys and the experiences that we could have together as a family .

Speaker 1 41:40

Can you imagine being a little kid and every other week you're headed to a new fair somewhere ? You know you're making all these friends on the circuit , you're , you know you're maybe joining 4-H , you're showing animals , you just . It's such an amazing feeling , these fairs , that I've got to be a part of the families that are there . I think about the closeness , the connection , the love and support that you get at like the Windsor Fair , the fact that that's a family that runs that fair , that everything about that , how close and connected they are and how they all care for each other , for them to welcome us into that . I think about the potential for my little one to be welcomed into that fair , into that family , and all the support that happens there . You know , when you think about those experiences at , the biggest fair is like Freiburg Fair and I think about , you know , like my first fair as a kid was Osprey Valley Fair , and that was one of my favorites , and it was my first fair as a vendor too , and I think about sharing those moments . I remember being a little kid canting at that fair with my parents , so to be able to do those things , I know how important they were to me . To think about the opportunity to do them with my little one , it gives me the strength to want to press on , to want to carry on , because I think that we can create a tremendous life of experiences doing the things that this business allows us to do if we can just get through the burden .

Navigating Financial Struggles With Faith

Speaker 1 43:04

But as you're riding the waves of emotion between grief and excitement , it's hard not to get lost in the battles of selfishness and security . You also add in another difficult element in all this , and that's the fact that you guys have heard me over the past few months mention to you that this is as financially difficult of a situation that I've been in since I was in my 20s . Right , this is the least amount of money that I've been able to provide or earn since I was in my 20s . But I've also added a great deal of debt that I didn't have in my 20s . Right , you have a mortgage and a tractor , payment and insurances and all these things right . And this is the most difficult times that I've ever had to experience , something that I would never want to share with anyone . But I'm going to share with you because the name of the podcast is Share the Struggle , and this is my struggle and I'm confident in my future triumphs here .

Speaker 1 44:08

But I can share with you that over the past 60 days , I can't count how many times I've seen my personal checking account and my business bank account drop to double digits . I can recall the times I've seen my accounts at 45 bucks , at 30 bucks , and you're trying to manage the weight of your business and your family's land , your house , everything that your father worked for that's no longer here , the mortgage you took on this . You're , you're , you're trying to navigate all of that and then you're thinking about the fact that you have a child on the way and you have no security , you have no comfort . You're literally going minute by minute . I've gone week to week . I've gone check to check , minute to minutes .

Speaker 1 45:05

A whole different level of stress . I can tell you that I've navigated it and I've made it all work and it's crazy how I used to say life puts things in perspective . I used to say that life has a funny way of things working out . But the more that I explore who I am and the more I try to learn about why I'm here , and the more that I inquire about my faith , I realize that it's not really my doing and it's not life's doing it . But I do know that someone's doing it and I feel I truly begin to feel , the more I explore my faith , that I now know who's doing it . But somehow , someway , things always work out , and in weird , mysterious ways things work out .

Speaker 1 45:56

I'll put it to you this way there was a time when I had all of my accounts down to nearly nothing and I was cleaning out the ambulance before I sold it and behind the seat I found a bank bag from the fair from Freiburg Fair actually , and it wasn't a crazy situation .

Speaker 1 46:18

But I pulled it out and there was $300 in there and at that moment that $300 made a massive difference in my life and that gave me the boost of confidence to keep going . And then , a few short days later , I sold that ambulance for $6,000 . And then you get things back to rocking and rolling and it's things like that . It's moments like that where I'm getting ready for my first event of the season and I pulled out my fireproof safe that I carry with me and I opened it up and all the small change bills and everything I need is there . All the money I need to fill the drawer for me at my first event was sitting in a safe . This is another instance where you're down to double digits in your business account , right , and for double digits that would mean under $100 . And I find my safe has all the money I need for my next event . These things don't just happen , okay , and you know .

Speaker 1 47:22

I'm sitting at my desk yesterday and again it's another dire streets moment and I get a phone call that I can come and pick up a $6,000 check for an order . It's powerful and those are the things that prove to me that I can't give up on what I'm doing for security . Don't get me wrong . You battle that right . You have that inner discussion that says , hey , is this the sign ? Is this the sign that says , hey , man , I'm just sending you one last amount here . Make your payment and get the hell out . Go start something else . Go join somebody's nine to five . Or is it the Lord saying you will get all you need , we will provide you . Chase this dream . Here's one more sign to keep on that road . Here's one more message that you need to deliver . It's crazy . It's crazy . And don't get me wrong , I'm not standing here recording this message , telling you that I need help . I'm not standing here telling you to send pity on me . That's not it . I will make it . I'm confident I will make it . The reason why I'm sharing this message in this moment is because I'm damn confident that I'm going to make it , and there's tremendous power in this message and in this moment . But I can come back here in a few weeks and share a whole new perspective . There's so much power in this message when , in two years , I can look back , we can press record and I can tell you about the wildest successes that I've been able to experience and the tremendous moments and memories that are being made with my child as this business thrives beyond my wildest belief , and the fact that there's going to be somebody out there that can go back to this message , to this episode , and say if I just believe , if I just put my belief in something greater than me , if I just put my life in the hands of something greater than me and I just chase that purpose that lives within me , it'll work out for me . I hope that someday , someway , this message is enough to change something for someone . I hope that someday , someway , this message is enough to change something for someone . I hope that someday , someway , there's a message here for anyone that's crawled upon dark times , that's encountered difficult tasks , that has been in a situation where they think about giving up , whether it's giving up on their hopes , on their dreams , whether it's giving up on a relationship , a business , a job , or giving up on their hopes , on their dreams , whether it's giving up on a relationship , a business , a job , or giving it up on their life that they hear something today , that there's something from this message today that can be reused many days to prove to you there's always brighter days , that this too shall pass , and on the other side of this discomfort is great triumphant experiences and opportunities . I have a willingness to share my greatest failures , because I'm eager to share my biggest successes .

Journey to Personal Growth and Success

Speaker 1 50:40

I started a new book this morning at the gym and it's named the Mountain Is you , and there's a few things that I picked up already just in the very early chapters of this book , and one of the things that I want to share with you from the book is that , basically , our breakdown is the entryway to the breakthrough that you spent your entire life waiting for . So when you get down into the depths of despair , when you get down as low as you can possibly go , so when you get down into the depths of despair , when you get down as low as you can possibly go , that breakdown , that experience , that moment , that breakdown is the entryway to the breakthrough , the breakthrough that you've spent your entire life waiting for . Facing it is the only way . Facing that breakdown is the only way , because you are the mountain . You are the mountain that blocks you from the life that you want to live . And your old self ? It just can't sustain the life you are looking to live .

Speaker 1 51:42

So much of that is true for me . My old self , my old ways , my old philosophies can't sustain the way I need to live . I depended so much on my father in the past . That dependency is gone . I am the one , I am the provider . Now I also need to provide for my own family , for my own little one . My previous ways of thinking , those levels of responsibility that I thought were oh so great , they pale in comparison to the responsibilities I'm about to take , because that old self can't sustain the new life that I'm looking to live .

Speaker 1 52:18

This path that we are on , this path shows our destiny and I feel like these signs , these things that have come in my way , these , all of a a sudden , I don't think I can make it . Oh , here's a phone call , here's a business opportunity , here's a text message , here's this , here's that . All these things that happen , that come up , that help to continue your business and help continue your mission , those things that happen . That path , it's showing you your destiny . You just need to really start to focus on thinking in ways that you've never before and I'm certainly thinking in ways that I never have before , because this imperfection is only a sign of potential improvement , is only a sign of potential improvement . So , anytime you look in the mirror and you struggle with something , when you connect with your soul and you struggle with something , that imperfection , that is a sign of potential improvement , whatever you don't feel comfortable with you can overcome . You can make your weakness a strength . Envision and become one with your future self Change completely , never to be the same again , because the mountain will be behind you , but who you become when you climb that mountain , that will define you . Let me slow that down and share that back for you one more time , because in this book , this morning , I stopped everything I was doing and I started typing this in my phone Envision and become one with your future self Change completely , never to be the same again . The mountain , it will be behind you , but who you become while climbing the mountain , that will define you . Man , these messages , they come to you when you least expect them , but when you most need them . And speaking of messages coming to you when you least expect them and you most need them .

Speaker 1 54:28

On Sunday , on Easter Sunday , after a full day , after all the experiences , after just making the announcement and spending time with our family and walking the cemetery and doing all those things , we ended up back at my mother's house for some dessert and we actually ended up dying some eggs and spending some time together and the three of us were in the living room watching TV and we were watching Shark Tank and there was these two gentlemen that ended up on Shark Tank . That it was a father and son , mark and Kenzo Singer , I believe , was her name , mark and Kenzo . Mark was the dad , kenzo was the son . And super awesome message . Just want to dig into this real quick . So they started the company and I don't know the success of the company now . I probably could have gone along and researched it , but I haven't .

Speaker 1 55:26

Iris , which is E-Y-E-W-R R I S is the name of the company and to kind of dig into the name , what it is is E Y E I . So it has eyeglasses and W ? R I S for wrist , because they're eyeglasses that'll wrap around your wrist , so they're always with you . So you have your eyeglasses around your wrist , you're somewhere , you need something . Pull them off your wrist , bingo , bada , bing , bada , boom . Put them on your face and you're back to reading and seeing , right , so they had a tremendous sales pitch . It was really funny , it was a great delivery and this time I will make sure to take the YouTube video and throw it in the show notes for today's episode so you can go back and actually watch the video if you would like .

Speaker 1 56:11

The dad um , he's a . He's a woodworker or that's kind of where his uh , his pastime and his love is , and he shares his heartfelt story about leaving home when he was like 15 years old , barely making it out of high school , not graduating college . He loves woodworking , but he's also an inventor and he's owned several companies and he's sold several companies . And one of the companies that he actually started was Gorilla Glue and he sold that company and they were asking him if it worked out for him . He said well , one of the things is , every time I started and sold a company , I always incorporated a royalty fee into that company , so it has worked out really well for me .

Speaker 1 56:56

His son is an engineer and his son seeing his dad struggle with eyeglasses , with never having his glasses , with him buying the wrong things at the store , with him buying the wrong things at the store . So they went into the woodworking shop and , with his engineering background and his dad's inventor perspective on things , they mocked up this template for these glasses and then they started chasing the patents and stuff for these glasses . And then his dad invests a mess of money into the business to get it started . His son walks away from his engineering business or engineering job , I should say and he has a great perspective on not dumping too much money into advertising , just trying to make the business work . And they're on Shark Tank seeking $25,000 for a 5% investment in the business .

Speaker 1 57:52

And what I'm going to do for you guys now is I'm going to take out my phone here and I'm going to because I just can't capture the entire message . I'm going to go to YouTube and I'm going to play for you just this one clip where Mark gets asked a question about why are you on Shark Tank ? Why do you actually need a shark for your business ? Let's see if this works . Get ready .

Speaker 3 58:21

We're only selling direct on our own website . Sorry , I just want to ask how much money you have in the business . I put about $630,000 into it .

Speaker 3 58:29

Wow , that's a lot , but because you're a royalty guy , you don't need the money right $630,000? . Why do you need a shark ? Your most valuable commodity isn't your money , it's your time . You can always make more money , but you can't make more time , and time gone by is gone forever . I don't have it in me to build another company . My time has passed . My main reason for being here is to leave Kenzo in good hands , and by that I mean successful , smart , honest and ethical people like yourselves .

Speaker 2 59:19

Wow , I love you baby . I definitely want to make you an offer because I'm so impressed with you and I mean it's just hey , kevin , hold on , kevin . What's going on with Lori ?

Speaker 3 59:25

Yeah Please , lori , I'm sorry what you all right , I'm sorry it . What's going on , lori ? Yeah , please , lori .

Speaker 2 59:29

I'm sorry , what you all right , I'm sorry , it just really touched me . I you know we all have limited time here , and it just really impacted me the way you were saying that you know you've like done your thing and that you just want to make sure that your family's okay . Um , it just got me , um , so forgive me . Um listen , I just want to make you an offer wow , man , I , uh , I .

Speaker 1 1:00:07

I teared up every time I watched Mark's speech and it's the same reaction I had on Sunday , on Easter , when I saw this episode . And again , I'm going to link this in here and spoiler alert , every single shark makes him an offer and I don't watch Shark Tank a ton . I think there's five sharks per episode . This is the first time I've ever seen this in the history of the show I'm sure it's happened before but , like I said , I don't watch it enough . They struck a deal with every single shark . So every professional , every entrepreneur , every one of those super successful sharks that were on that panel , they all bought into his business . So they shared the risk and they shared the opportunity . So tremendous man , tremendous . But it really puts so much into perspective and it really summed up a lot about the way that I'm feeling . And when Mark said time , you can make more money , but you can't make more time . Time gone by is gone forever .

Speaker 1 1:01:25

Man , listening to Mark's pitch on wanting to leave Kenzo in good hands , wanting to leave him with people he trusts , I know that was my dad's way of thinking with me . He always wanted to make sure that I was okay when he was on his dying bed , he said to me I don't have to worry about you , I never worry about you , I never worry about you , I don't worry about you anymore . I gave him peace in him , knowing that he doesn't have to worry , that he knows I'm going to be okay . It's not lost on me the fact that my dad's dying message to me is that I don't worry about you . And since he's been gone , I've done nothing but worry about me . To get all in my feels and to stress about all the decisions , each and every decision that I make , which is out of my characteristics , because I often just do , just do , and lately I've been more just analyze . And this message hearing Mark say time , you can make more money , but you can't make more time just seals my fate that much more as to why I need to not worry about security and stay a little more selfish , because this business is going to provide a tremendous amount of time with my family once it settles out . I know there's this rough patch , but this is the mountain . This is the mountain that I need to climb and just like Mark wanted to leave a legacy for Ken's , I can do the same thing for my little one and for my family . When this business becomes all that I believe it to be , comes all that I believe

American Podcast Signing Off

Speaker 1 1:03:12

it to be .

Speaker 1 1:03:12

I had more things to share this week , but I think this is a fitting place to end today's show . I shared a lot today . It was another very transparent episode , but I think they all are transparent as we make our march towards 200 . I truly , truly need to say thank you for supporting my American dream . Now go wash your fucking hands , you filthy savage . That's it and that's all . Biggie Smalls .

Speaker 1 1:03:57

If you're a loud , proud American and you find yourself just wanting more , find me on YouTube and Facebook at Loud , proud American Put a face page , as my mama calls it . If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker , you want to find me on Instagram . Or all the kids by tickety-talking on the TikTok . You can find me on both of those at loud , underscore , proud , underscore American . I'm not talking about myself . A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song to this year's podcast . If you are enjoying what you're hearing , you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook . Just search Gut Truckers . Give them motherfuckers a like too . I truly thank you for supporting my American dream . Now go wash your fucking hands , you filthy savage .