Dec. 31, 2025
You Are Not Your Conditions, And Today You Decide What Stays And What Goes
Midnight won’t fix your life, but a decision might. We’re closing the year by doing the uncomfortable work most people avoid: naming what we will leave behind so we can walk lighter, clearer, and truer. Instead of stacking new goals on old baggage, we cut off the dead weight—labels we accepted, habits that stole our time, and stories that made our struggles feel like our names.
I share the line that stopped me in my tracks: sometimes you go through something so long you forget who you are. That idea reframed the whole year. We talk about the difference between trying and deciding, how language opens or closes escape hatches, and why conditions are not identity. If you’ve said “I’m trying to quit,” you’ll hear how “I quit” changes your posture, your calendar, and your outcomes. We get practical about replacing doom scrolling, breaking negative self-talk with pattern interrupts, and building momentum through small, daily wins that compound into confidence.
This conversation also leans on faith, community, and proof from your own life. You’re not walking into 2026 empty handed—you’re walking in with your track record, your grit, and your God-given strengths. We unpack tools to guard your inputs with a digital detox, curate voices that lift your standards, and practice self-compassion that you’d actually offer a friend. I reflect on six years of building Loud Proud American, the trap of dwelling and swelling, and the choice to stop letting struggle define the day.
If you’re ready to trade resolutions for release, and goals for grounded action, this is your reset. Subscribe, share with someone who needs a lift, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Then tell me: what are you leaving behind—and what are you bringing with you?
Here is a Link to Pastor Steven Furtick Elevation Church this sparked todays thoughts and discussion please follow if you are inspired
https://youtu.be/UBB97n_M14M?si=XOavtZ19HD3eFMMK
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Thank you for Supporting My American Dream!
00:00 - A New Year, A New Approach
03:00 - Ditching Goals For Letting Go
06:45 - Six Years In And Self-Reflection
10:30 - Dwelling, Swelling, And Negativity
14:20 - The Sermon That Sparked A Shift
18:50 - You Are Not Your Conditions
23:30 - Trying Versus Deciding
28:10 - What Will You Leave In 2025
32:40 - Walking Into 2026 With Strength
37:00 - Intensity, Faith, And Resolve
41:20 - Tools To Replace Bad Habits
46:30 - Self-Talk, Compassion, And Growth
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I am recording episode 286 of Share the Snuggle Podcast on the eve of New Year's Eve.
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And this episode is scheduled to drop on New Year's Eve.
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And you might find yourself listening to this on New Year's Day.
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Either way, I want to do something different today.
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Instead of setting goals, dreams, aspirations, and deadlines, instead of forecasting what's to come in 2026, we're gonna discuss what we absolutely need to leave behind in 2025.
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Let me tell you something.
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Everybody's struggled.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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I just got to spend my New Year's with you.
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Oh, it's true.
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It is damn true.
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Mm-mm.
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I do not own the copyright to the video playing in the background.
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Whichever celebrity that was.
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Maybe there was Ryan Seacrest or something.
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I don't I don't really know.
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But I wanted to set the mood.
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Hap, hap, happy new year, y'all.
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Mm-mm mm-mm.
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If you are listening to this here podcast on its weekly rotation, then it is dropping on a winning Wednesday, and it is coming to you on New Year's Eve.
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But I also know a lot of y'all tune in the next day, or the next day, or the next day.
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So you might already be in 2026.
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But either way, I'm here with your weekly fix, Share the Struggle Podcast, episode 286, ringing in the new year 2026.
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I started the show, the little B-roll intro to the show, saying that traditionally, this time of the year, we're having our, let's just say, forecast uh dream setting, goal setting, aspirations, all those good things.
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We start to think about the upcoming year.
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We start to make some resolutions.
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We start to think about all the things that we want to achieve.
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And we ask ourselves as we look back on the previous year, we kind of go back and do that self-evaluation.
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We give ourselves our own report card.
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We go back and say, hey man, how do we do?
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Did we get any closer to our 10-year goals?
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Did we get any closer to those dreams we want to live?
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Did we lose the 10 pounds?
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Did we get organized?
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Did we pay off the cards?
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Did we free up some debt?
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Did we clear ourselves of regret?
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I'll say I probably failed on most all of those, but we're not here to talk about that.
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Maybe next week.
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Traditionally, we had those episodes and we start thinking about forecasting our year.
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Last year, one of the things that we did that we really enjoyed was identifying our words, our like actual mission statement, our power words, our guiding words, the ones that were going to help uh align us with core values and to pull us through and to see us through.
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Last year, starting off the year, ending the previous year, I was joined by my wife and we played some question games and we ended it with really trying to identify our guiding word for the year or words.
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And my wife chose dedication and determination, and I chose courage and sacrifice, and we really leaned into all of those throughout the year.
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That's kind of how we did things last year.
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This year I'm looking at doing things a little bit different.
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So instead of you know identifying our goals and our hopes and our dreams and establishing, you know, key results and markers and checkpoints and guiding words, all those things might come in the future.
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But I thought it was rather fitting for those of you that are gonna listen on New Year's Eve.
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We're gonna give each other the opportunity to leave some baggage behind in 2025.
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We're gonna grant each other permission to offload, to unload all of this nonsense, all of the things that have been holding us down, weighing us down, keeping us down, pushing us around, all of that.
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We're gonna get it done, we're gonna get it off our backs, and we're gonna watch the ball drop tonight, knowing that as the clock strikes zero, then whatever it is that's holding you back, whatever it is that's that's holding you down, it's behind you, and you ain't gonna look back.
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And to those of you that are listening on New Year's Day or the next day or the next day, it's not too late.
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The new year's just getting started, baby.
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And we are bound and determined to make this year our best year yet.
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That's the goal each and every year when the calendar turns, when the ball drops, when the new year starts.
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Make this year your best year yet.
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So that's the plan.
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Today we are gonna unload and then we're gonna get ready to reload with positivity, with optimism, with a brand new outlook, refocused and recommitted on ourselves, our goals, and our happiness.
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That is what's on tap today on Share the Struggle Podcast.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
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How do you do?
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Merry Christmas, happy new year.
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I hope y'all had a tremendous Christmas.
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I hope everybody got everything that they wanted.
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If you didn't get what you wanted, don't forget what we said last week.
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It's gonna ring true to you each and every week.
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But this week, more so than others, as the new year rings, Lau Proud American is looking to sing.
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We are going to drop down prices and move items out the door that will never come back.
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Oh no more, no more, no more.
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Hit the row, Jack.
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I just don't know what's wrong with me mostly.
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But we're gonna uh discount and clear out and remove some items because y'all don't realize this.
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But uh this is six freaking years.
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November was the six-year mark for Loud, Proud American.
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It's hard to believe, man.
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That is That is hard to believe.
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And I know this is part of my my goals and forecasts and all those things, so I'm not gonna dig too deep into it, but I am gonna celebrate the fact that we've we've hit six years.
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I thought we would be much further along, but I am not going to beat myself up.
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That's part of what I'm leaving in the past, that's part of the reason we are here.
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I'm happy, I'm grateful, and I'm blessed for my success.
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I'm not where I wanted to be, but that's part of the journey for me, and that's part of this episode for both of us.
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The things that we dwell on, the things that we swell on.
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And when I say that for me, dwell and swell, that's the stuff that just rattles around my brain that I think about all day long, and then I swell up like a big fat tick.
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And I know that's a gross analogy, but that's the truth.
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Because the things that you're thinking about, the things that you're dwelling on, they're gross too.
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So you're gonna swell up just like a big old fat Mississippi tick, okay?
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Sorry, Mississippi, I don't know why I shouted you out like that, but I love saying Mississippi.
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I don't know.
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It is what it is.
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But the point I'm making here is a lot of times we we overthink it, right?
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And if we dwell and swell, that's when I think about all the negatives, all the things that I didn't do, and then I swell up with negativity.
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I swell up with with anxiety, I swell up with depression.
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Those are the things that I'm asking and begging of each and every one of you to leave back in 2025.
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Two.
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You understand what I'm saying?
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Ain't no more dwelling and swelling on the negativity, ain't no more dwelling and swelling on what we didn't didn't do.
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It's all optimism for me and you.
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Now, this week's mission and message, the mantra that we're trying to drive home, I'm gonna go about it in a roundabout way.
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I'm gonna go about it by sharing something that I heard today.
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We're going to drive this message home.
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We're going to activate this exercise by sharing a few um quotes and messages and inspirations that I heard today that I think were given to me today, that found their way to me today for a reason.
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So on my Tuesday mornings, I get up around five in the morning, I bring my mother to work, and then I try to get in the office and just be productive before the family wakes up.
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So I was in the office and I was doing a few things, finalizing a design for somebody, getting that ready to send over.
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And then I was like, I'm gonna fall asleep.
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So I just need some busy work.
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I'm gonna try to clean the office up a little bit, uh, just so I can stay stay productive.
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And and before I get into like the negativity of the day, right?
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Before you start just melting your face into social media, before you do the doomsday scroll, before you listen to the news, I try to put on something uh motivational when I'm up that early.
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And um, this morning I listened to a sermon from uh Elevation Church from Steven Furtick, who is somebody that you've heard me talk about many times on the podcast.
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And I just clicked home on my YouTube page and a bunch of stuff pops up, and it's like, okay, what do I want to listen to right now?
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And the message or the name of his uh sermon was um God Wants You to Get Up.
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And I clicked on that episode and I let that play through, and that ran into me listening to a few other um uh videos today from from Steven from Elevation Church and tying some of those things together, and then realizing that I think it was it it came to me at the right time for the right reason, and it connects to the message that I'm drawn to deliver today.
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As we talk about all the things that we want to leave behind in 2025 because we want to have a clear, open mind in 2026.
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This message is what drove it home for me.
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And there's a line that he said today that stopped me in my tracks and made me think for the rest of the day.
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And he was talking about conditions.
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And sometimes we have these conditions, and before you know it, we allow these conditions to label us.
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They overcome us, they often overtake us and who we are and even our names, right?
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There's so many people in your life that um you might think of what ails them, what's wrong with them, what holds them back before you really think about them.
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Steven talked about these folks that allow their conditions to take them over.
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These people that allow their conditions to label them.
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Because sometimes you can go through something so long that you forget who you are.
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That line resonated with me this morning.
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I listened to that message.
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Sometimes you can go through something so long that you forget who you are.
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I listened to that line.
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He put his hands up, the crowd was cheering, it was a dramatic moment, and I pushed pause on the video, and I immediately walked outside, and it's blistering cold.
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It's it's cold enough to freeze the hairs off an Eskimo's nut sack, okay?
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It is frigid this morning.
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I get up, I go outside, and I begin to do the chores, and I'm freezing and I'm getting water and lugging water and hay and grain and all those things, and I just keep thinking about it.
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Conditions.
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Sometimes you can go through something for so long that you forget who you are.
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I just kept repeating it over and over and over.
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And I realized somehow along the way, I've forgotten who I am.
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As you continue to get up, as you continue to fight, fight, fight, as you continue to endlessly work towards your your goals, your dreams, your aspirations.
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And as those things seem to feel further and further away, as you don't attain and achieve the things you assume you should have based off of all the work you've put in, there comes a time when you begin to lose some of your fight.
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There comes a time when you can lose your sight, because you can't see yourself achieving.
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You when you begin to lose your sight, then you lose your beliefs.
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So you start to lose your fight.
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You start to give up a little bit, and you lose your sight because you can't see yourself achieving anymore.
00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:15.840
And if you can't see it, then you certainly can't believe it.
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And before you know it, you're losing belief in those dreams.
00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:28.399
So if you don't believe it, and you don't see it, and you ain't got the courage to get up and fight for it to achieve it, then it ain't gonna come to you.
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It isn't gonna be given to you, it's not going to be granted to you, it's not gonna be showered down upon you.
00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:42.720
All because if you continue to go through something for so long, you forget who you are.
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How many times in life have you worked so incredibly hard for something?
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How many times have you wanted something so so bad you can taste it?
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But it continues to evade you.
00:14:57.679 --> 00:14:59.600
It continues to escape you.
00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:06.080
How many times have you then made the label and decision in your mind that it just isn't for you?
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As I start to think and connect the dots from Stephen's message to the mission at hand, I begin to do so with this in mind.
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As I think about all the things I fought for, as I think about all the things I've worked for, as I think about all the struggles that I went through this year, 2025 was one of the most difficult years of my life.
00:15:33.679 --> 00:16:00.960
As I think about this year and all the challenges, all the times that I nearly gave up, when I think about all those things, that struggle that I've been in, the struggle that I've been fighting with, the struggle that's been surrounding me, I ask myself, has that struggle, has that battle, has it gone on so long that I have forgotten who I am?
00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:09.200
As I began to ask myself that question, I began to realize the answer is yes.
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You have forgotten who you are.
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You have forgotten how far you've come.
00:16:15.440 --> 00:16:28.799
Stephen went on to say you can go through a season of depression that is so deep that you can go from saying, I am dealing with depression, to saying I am depressed.
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.840
One of those is final.
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You understand?
00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:40.480
One of those is a diagnosis, one of those is a is a commitment, it's an acceptance.
00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:51.679
If you've been listening to the podcast throughout the years, you've heard me tell the story about the two two guys, let's say, let's make up two fake people that are that are quitting smoking.
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:55.440
And one of them takes the adage of, I'm trying to quit smoking.
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And the other one gives up smoking the same day.
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They make this this vial, they make this pact with each other.
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This is our final pact.
00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.359
Matter of fact, we're done with this.
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No more smoking for each or one each one of us, okay?
00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:09.519
We're done here.
00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:14.720
One of them takes the mentality, I'm in, I'm with you, I'm trying to quit too, I'm done.
00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:17.279
The other one says, I quit smoking.
00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:19.680
There's a difference there.
00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:24.480
So as they begin to go about their day and they go their separate ways.
00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:27.279
Gentleman A finds himself outside.
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It's break time.
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This is when he would normally go for the pack of smokes.
00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:40.480
His fellow, you know, co-workers that are out there that are always lining up, lighting up at the same time, ask him, Hey man, are you uh you want to smoke?
00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:41.920
You forget your smokes?
00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:44.240
Nah, man, I'm trying to quit.
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:45.759
Okay, yeah.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:48.799
And a lot of times, you know, they're probably just gonna get made fun of, right?
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:59.759
Throughout the day, he continues to be asked by all of his his habit friends, his habitual friends, the ones that are the good time and go-to smoking buddies.
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:02.000
They continue to ask, you want to smoke?
00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:02.720
You need a smoke?
00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:03.920
You want to go for a smoke break?
00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:05.200
Nah, man, I'm trying to quit.
00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:07.279
I'm trying to quit, I'm trying to quit.
00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:15.920
Example number two, friend number, he makes a decision to say, I quit smoking.
00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:23.680
So when all those same scenarios begin to happen to him, when all those friends start asking him, hey man, you want to smoke?
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:26.480
You got a lighter, did you forget your smokes?
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:27.920
No, man, I quit.
00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:29.200
I quit smoking.
00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:30.799
I don't smoke anymore.
00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:32.799
Good for you.
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:34.480
Congratulations.
00:18:35.440 --> 00:18:38.319
There's a different tone, there's a different reaction.
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:58.000
When you fast forward a week, two weeks, and to both these individuals' lives, the person that continues to say, I'm trying to quit, just by just by the way it's phrased, by the way it's said, I'm trying to quit, that's giving you latitude to stop.
00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:02.000
That's giving you the ability to give up the fight.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:07.839
That's giving you the out, the easy way out of saying, Well, I tried to quit.
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:12.960
When we say we're trying to do something, we're not really committed to doing something.
00:19:13.599 --> 00:19:18.319
When we say we're trying to quit, then we're gonna give out our best effort to quit.
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:24.000
But eventually peer pressure is gonna cave in, and I'm giving myself the grace to give in.
00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:35.119
To those of us that make the final decision, which comes from the Latin word incision to cut off, final, fatal.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:36.079
You understand?
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:39.279
I made the decision to quit.
00:19:39.519 --> 00:19:42.559
I quit smoking, I'm done smoking.
00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:44.880
That's a life decision.
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:49.599
There's a big difference there between trying to quit and I did quit.
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.240
If you make the decision to quit, you can start counting the days since you quit.
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:56.960
You can start looking at the days you've been smoke free.
00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:59.680
If you're saying you're trying to quit, you're counting the days.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:01.920
Towards the next cigarette.
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:03.119
You understand what I'm saying?
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:09.920
Whether I'm tracking the days since I've had a smoke or I'm tracking the days towards my next smoke.
00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:12.960
There's a big difference on that calendar there, folks.
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:25.759
So when you go through a season of depression that is so deep, you go from saying, Hey man, I'm just dealing with some depression right now, to saying, I'm depressed.
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:27.680
There's a big difference there.
00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:29.519
Because now you're committed.
00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:30.960
You made the decision.
00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:32.240
You are depressed.
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:33.759
You're in that fight.
00:20:36.240 --> 00:20:39.599
Stephen made the point to say it's okay to struggle.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:45.200
The problem is when you begin to forget your true nature.
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:52.319
Because you are so consumed by what you won't let go.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:21:02.319
Whether that's addiction, whether that's self-doubt, whether it's anxiety, depression, whatever it is.
00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:05.680
You are not willing.
00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:11.279
You have become consumed by what you can't let go.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:29.759
When I started to connect all the things, all the messages from Stephen's speech to the mission and the mantra that I want to carry on for us today, I began to connect those things and say to myself, self, it's time for us to let go.
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:38.079
I can guarantee there is a struggle for you that you've been holding on to.
00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:50.319
There is a struggle for you that has had a grip on you in 2025, and I am here to beg of you to empower you to leave that behind.
00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:53.440
It has consumed you long enough.
00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:57.839
You have forgotten who you are.
00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:03.359
You have lost sight of your true nature.
00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:12.400
We don't realize how much of ourselves we give to these struggles, to these devices.
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:21.680
If it's addiction, if it's depression, if it's when we say addiction, let me back up a second, because I think addiction and depression go hand in hand.
00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:34.079
Addiction could be drugs, could be alcohol, could be social media, it could be uh it could be porn, it could be anything that you're addicted to that begins to uh overtake you.
00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:42.640
You spend too much time, uh, you dedicate too much of your time to this part of your life that's not a fulfilling part of your life.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:44.880
That leads to depression.
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