Jan. 14, 2026
We Grow When We Stop Chasing Things And Start Training Our Thoughts
What if the real upgrade this year isn’t a new purchase, but a new pattern of thinking? We open the door to a raw, relatable conversation about why we obsess over stuff, set punishing deadlines, and then watch our motivation fade while anxiety grows. From a scratched-CD glitch to a stack of old vinyl and a French bulldog cameo, the setup is light—but the message lands heavy: we’ve been valuing things over thoughts, and it’s costing us peace, progress, and purpose.
I get personal about the trophies I once chased: the truck I worshiped that now rusts under a pine, the Challenger I babied that sits unregistered in the snow, the Harley that became garage decor. Each win felt like a finish line before it turned into clutter. The throughline wasn’t the gear; it was the inner voice I let run wild with comparison, doubt, and deadlines. We pull apart how rumination spins up from tiny sparks—a “K” text, a lagging reply—and becomes a story that strains relationships and stalls action, all without a single new fact.
A vivid dream flips the script. In it, a refinance wipes out debt and the body responds first—deep breath, shoulders light, real relief. Waking up doesn’t erase the bills, but it rewires the target: stop giving power to the problem and start giving power to possibility. That shift fuels a practical framework you can use today: label intrusive thoughts as mental events, separate you from you with a firm “not today,” move your body to break the loop and then take one step toward your goal, and control only what you can—especially not other people’s opinions.
We close with a challenge for 2026: keep the goals, ditch the self-imposed choke points, and talk to yourself like someone whose future matters. Your expectations are your responsibility, and your mindset is the leverage that makes hard things possible. If you’re ready to feel lighter without buying a thing, press play, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review so more people can find the show. What thought are you upgrading today?
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00:00 - New Year, New Focus
03:14 - Glitch, Vinyl, And Setting The Scene
06:20 - Business Crossroads And Family Weigh-In
10:50 - Welcomes, Rituals, And Elevation Church
14:42 - We Value Things Over Thoughts
18:20 - The Cost Of Chasing Stuff
22:25 - Old Red, The Challenger, And Lost Awe
27:20 - When Self-Talk Sabotages Goals
31:10 - Misread Texts And Runaway Rumination
36:00 - Deadlines, Anxiety, And The Night Spiral
40:10 - The Debt-Relief Dream And Its Jolt
45:05 - From Problem Power To Possibility Power
48:40 - Move First, Then Move With Purpose
WEBVTT
00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:03.520
It's a new year, and I've got some new thoughts.
00:00:03.680 --> 00:00:12.720
And speaking of thoughts, I've come to the realization that we value things far more than we value our own thoughts.
00:00:12.960 --> 00:00:26.160
So today on Share the Struggle Podcast, I'm going to throw down a challenge, a challenge to each and every one of us to reduce the value we place on things and increase the emphasis on our thoughts.
00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:27.519
Let me tell you something.
00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:29.039
Everybody struggles.
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The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.
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The choice is completely yours.
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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.
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Uncomfortable conversation.
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I got stuck right there.
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Did you guys feel that?
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Did you hear that?
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I got stuck on repeat.
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You remember when you used to put CDs, you know, in the CD player, and you would find that big scratch, that gouge on your Credence Clear Water Revival album, and it would just spit.
00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:01.120
Yeah.
00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:02.959
I just that just happened to me.
00:02:03.200 --> 00:02:09.840
There's a lot of folks listening right now, all y'all digital peeps, that probably don't even own CDs.
00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:11.680
I mean, do people still buy CDs?
00:02:11.840 --> 00:02:14.000
I mean, occasionally I do, actually.
00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:16.000
And now my wife buys vinyl.
00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:25.439
Which I got her a record player for Christmas, and the I needed to start her vinyl collection, and I can't believe the cost of vinyl.
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It is incredible, man.
00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:28.400
So I said, here's the deal.
00:02:28.479 --> 00:02:30.719
I'm gonna buy you one brand new vinyl.
00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:36.560
And from here on out, the greatest thing about you owning a record player is thrifting for your old vinyls.
00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:39.360
Okay, that's gonna be the scenario.
00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:46.639
So I went on a quest to find the most proper first vinyl for the wife.
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I didn't want to get her something that she already has, is already listened to.
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So I actually scored Brandon Lake King of Hearts.
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It's a nice double vinyl set, I guess she would say.
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So I got her that for Christmas.
00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:01.120
That's a random little thing.
00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:06.879
But this all started because I glitched, I got stuck on a track, and it happens.
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:13.759
Kids these days might never know what that's like, but it absolutely happens.
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Welcome to Share the Struggle Podcast.
00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:22.800
That podcast, perfectly, beautifully, precisely named Share the Struggle.
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Because as we say week to week, boys and girls, everybody struggles.
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Oh, it is true.
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You and me, we struggle.
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But the difference between you and me and everybody else is that we are bold enough, courageous enough, and transparent enough to share our shit with each other.
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Mm-hmm.
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Because when you do so, we both grow.
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It's the truth, folks.
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If you are willing to share it, then there is strength in it.
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If you're asking me, that's the shit.
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Dad joke.
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Well, I mean, probably we shouldn't be using shit in dad jokes, but hey, at least I didn't drop an F bomb this early.
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So, you know what I mean?
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Feeling pretty good.
00:04:05.919 --> 00:04:07.120
Pretty good about that.
00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:11.280
Well, episode 288, and I'm feeling great.
00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:16.639
I'm a little late to the recording studio, but that's just how things happen to go around here.
00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:23.040
I am in the middle of a lot of chaos when it comes to the business, trying to plan things, figure things.
00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:53.040
And um, I threw a Hail Mary phone call today, and then that turned into um an opportunity, which turned into a big discussion, both family and uh with the support team and um extended family, I would say, the the Palmelos, and we are doing a lot of research to decide if um I take a leap on doing something um for the right reasons, right?
00:04:53.279 --> 00:05:00.240
I have an opportunity and I don't want to give too much of it away right now, but the question becomes does it make dollars and cents?
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Is it worth doing?
00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:08.079
So I gotta fight through the excitement and drill into the reality and decide if that's what's best for me.
00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:15.920
With that said, it kind of pushed the recording off a little bit because I was all just geared up, buttercup.
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I was ready to rock and roll.
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I even put some notes down today.
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I was ready.
00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:32.079
It was Daddy Daycare day today, and uh the moment that I was able to get away when the little one was having a nap, and I started scripting some things out in silence.
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So I have notes today.
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I feel like an actual organized show host, but don't get used to it because I'm typically just shooting off the kef here, but here we are.
00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:53.040
I'm recording in the Gee Raj tonight, and uh my wife for some reason just kicked the French bulldog down the stairs, and she's down here making a ruckus.
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So I've moved myself to isolation so I could have just quiet and solitude.
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I just made that up.
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And uh, nope, no such thing.
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Send this noisemaker downstairs to disrupt my zen.
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But that's the world we live in.
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Show the struggle podcast, episode 288.
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This is the second episode of 226, the year 2026.
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I got a little play on resolutions, a little play on New Year's forecast.
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I'm gonna keep that trend going before we do.
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We've come accustomed to saying a welcome to some new locations to the to the podcast here.
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And this one, I love everything about this.
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It feels made up.
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I did not make it up.
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Saskatoon Saskatchewan.
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Welcome to the fine folks in Saskatoon.
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Lawrenceville, Georgia.
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Welcome.
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Georgia, I got news for you.
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I might be headed to you.
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That's a conversation for a later date.
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Ludlow, Massachusetts, and Powethon, Virginia.
00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:06.959
Powhaton, maybe?
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P-O-W-H-A-T-A-N.
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I'm not sure.
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Virginia.
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The land of lovers.
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Here's the thing, folks.
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It is in fact a new year.
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It is 2026.
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And with this new year, I've got some new thoughts.
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Today, this thought came to me and it inspired this entire conversation.
00:07:32.480 --> 00:07:38.079
And I guess the thought didn't really just come to me because it came from something that I was watching.
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I have this little habit of on daddy daycare days, the the little one will um have a bottle and sit with dad, and she'll she'll sometimes watch Fox News in the morning.
00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:54.959
She'll watch Fox and Friends, but she we always squeeze in time for Blueie.
00:07:55.680 --> 00:07:59.600
Sometimes it's sports, and oftentimes it's spiritual.
00:07:59.759 --> 00:08:04.000
And uh we will watch some some uh some sermons, some church services.
00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:12.160
We're fans of Elevation Church, and it's incredible to me how much my daughter will clue in on a church service.
00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:23.839
Like today, there was times when I was just holding her, and it must have been 10 or 15 minutes where she was just having a bottle and then a binky, and her eyes were just glued, glued to the service.
00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:42.399
She was just watching uh Stephen Furtig from Elevation Church, and she was just glued to him and taking it all in, and I was just watching her, and just so, so amazed by my little girl and then all that was happening, and thinking there's gotta be something positive from this, right?
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Like, you're doing the right thing here, dad, aren't you?
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Like, we're putting some positives in to this little girl and her world and her vision of the world, and that's just all you can really hope for.
00:08:54.399 --> 00:09:02.240
But we have these these moments together watching, just worshiping, taking on church.
00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:14.240
It's funny, on Sunday, we we didn't have the availability of going to church, me and the wife, so I dialed it up on YouTube, and uh we were watching church, and the baby just gets into it, man.
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You'll see when they're worshiping, when the music's playing, she's dancing, she's got her hands up, she's clapping.
00:09:20.799 --> 00:09:21.440
It's incredible.
00:09:21.519 --> 00:09:26.480
It's incredible just to think like what she's getting out of this and what she's thinking.
00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:41.679
But today, while me and my my little princess were worshiping, while we were having our own church session, I was listening to Elevation Church, and there was a line that Steven Furtick said, and it resonated with me.
00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:48.080
And I pulled up my phone and I put it in my notepad, and then that turned into a full day of thoughts.
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And the one line that he said was, We value things over thoughts.
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And he spent an hour digging into valuing things over thoughts.
00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:18.240
I'm not gonna steal the thunder from that service because I didn't take a lot more notes from that point on because I really was just staring at my little girl and and thinking about her and her world and how she was processing.
00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:24.480
But I spent a lot of time thinking about my own thoughts and and my own things.
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And I was listening to his great, tremendous examples on those things.
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I wish I would have retained some of them, but right now they're they're fleeing me, probably because of the phone conversations I've been on over the past couple hours, because I was prepared to um go after some of those things, but instead, we're going to do it from our own point of view, from our own our own life experiences.
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:55.039
And the fact that there couldn't be more truer things said than the fact that we value things over thoughts.
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We all put an amazing emphasis on what we acquire in life, how big our house is, how big the yard is, what we're driving, what we can afford, the vacations, you know, all these different things.
00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:11.519
How big is the diamond ring?
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All these things that we're chasing.
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:25.039
A lot of things that we we chase are they're financially motivated or they're they're acquired via finances, right?
00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:36.799
So it's this keeping up with the Joneses rat race chase that we embark on, and we put all these values into acquiring these things.
00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:44.559
We focus on them, we obsess over them, but we don't put an emphasis on our thoughts.
00:11:46.639 --> 00:12:13.360
When I started thinking about things, one of the thoughts that came to me was, man, how many things in your life did you just obsess over, strive for, work towards, hunger for, and you attained them, and now you don't appreciate them or you take them for granted.
00:12:13.519 --> 00:12:22.720
Now I'm not saying it's bad to to have things or to shoot for things, because I I believe in all forms of motivation.
00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:32.159
But what happens when we no longer have those things or we no longer appreciate those things?
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But we don't focus on our thoughts and the thoughts that we have either over those things or over ourselves, because here's the truth, folks.
00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:42.639
The thoughts aren't going anywhere.
00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:47.200
The thoughts continue to come back.
00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:54.799
The thoughts continue to control our lives, to put anchors on our emotions.
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What you think is what you are positive in, positive out, negative in, negative out.
00:13:02.960 --> 00:13:05.919
So many of us struggle with self-doubt.
00:13:06.879 --> 00:13:11.279
I say it so many times over the course of all these episodes of this podcast.
00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:18.879
If you had a friend that spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, you wouldn't have that friend.
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If you spoke to your wife, your husband, your mother, your brother, your father, your cousin, your uncle, your boss, the way you speak to yourself, you would be divorced, lonely, unemployed, by yourself, miserable.
00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:36.559
Because nobody would put up with your shit, the shit that you say to yourself.
00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:58.240
So when I heard Stevens say we value things over thoughts, I realized me chasing things and being corrupted by my thoughts is probably one of the biggest obstacles in my life, probably one of the most destructive things in my life.
00:13:58.320 --> 00:14:00.879
Because I can talk myself in and out of so many things.
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:04.879
I can talk myself down from reaching for certain things.
00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:08.399
I could talk myself into trying for certain things.
00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:15.279
That's part of the struggle I was having on the phone trying to decide about an event before I started this recording today.
00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:22.720
But I really started to think about those things, and a couple examples came to mind for me.
00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:39.919
If you've been listening to all the episodes over the course of the you know five plus years of us recording as we approach hitting our six-year mark, you've heard a lot of stories in my in my days of having these goals and these things that I wanted to attain.
00:14:40.000 --> 00:15:04.240
And if I just start to identify some of the tangible ones, I go all the way back to some of my first episodes, me lusting over this new vehicle as I was driving dead-end vehicles of 300 plus thousand miles, and then going back and forth from Maine to New Hampshire with my 1992 Ford Bronco that was busting at the scenes every chance it had.
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:23.679
Finding myself on the in the parking lot of a Dodge dealership, drooling, fantasizing over this brand new four-door Dodge Heme that I was all geared up about with straight pipes and all the all the tricked-out goodies.
00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:38.320
I remember the tears, the heartbreak, the heartache, overrealizing, over-trying to buy and being denied and realizing that wasn't possible.
00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:44.000
As I looked at a$40,000 plus thousand dollar sticker on the window.
00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:56.480
Which is crazy to think now that that same truck is probably a hundred and hundred and twenty thousand dollars today with the new amenities if you're going apples to apples.
00:15:56.559 --> 00:15:58.399
But I think about that vehicle.
00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:13.200
And that a year later, I went back to that dealership, and that same vehicle was still sitting there because it was loud and obnoxious, and it was in a downtown scenario, and nobody wanted to drive that sucker but me.
00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:17.840
And I bought that truck brand freaking new.
00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:21.919
That was a 2003.
00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:25.120
I bought it in like 04 or 05.
00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:30.799
That old girl is still sitting at my house.
00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:35.919
If you've been listening as of late, you know that I commonly refer to her as old Red.
00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:38.320
She's now being laid to rest.
00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:43.360
But I've had that vehicle for over 20 years.
00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:56.159
But as I think about things, I think about how good I was to that girl, how much I appreciated that truck, how I value that truck, how I was so sweet to that truck.
00:16:58.080 --> 00:17:15.759
And now when I go out to do barn chores, that girl's on a dead end, dirt part of my driveway, stuffed under a pine tree, with a bumper folded over, with the hood unable to open, with the doors and bed rotted right off of it, unwilling to start and flat on all four tires.
00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:25.680
And I think what happened to the value I placed on the thing twenty years ago.
00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:40.960
Recently I've been cleaning the garage and trying to cleanse myself of old things, and I had a little uh a little memento in time where I took a capsule of me and I set it free.
00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:48.400
I took a giant tote of my past that I was holding on to.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:18:06.640
Pay stubs, tax information from a previous life of mine, back when times were easier, money wasn't as hard to come by, different artifacts that I held on to to help me if I ever went back to an old life of mine, and then history of me.
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:12.000
Part of the history that I found in there was the window sticker.
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:13.920
It's all red.
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:17.680
And I looked at it and I thought about how important that was to me.
00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:29.119
I saw the paperwork, the loan agreements, the price tags, the sweet honey of a deal I got on it when I talked him down to like$27,000.
00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:32.799
And I burned all of it.
00:18:36.559 --> 00:18:58.319
When I heard we value things over thoughts, this is one of the things that I thought about while working for Harley Davidson, and the dark dog days of summer, the 50, 60, 70 hour work weeks, being away from the family.
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:04.960
There was a picture on my screen of a Dodge Challenger, all blacked out.
00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:07.039
That was my motivation.
00:19:07.200 --> 00:19:10.640
It was my driving light, it was my beacon in the night.
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:26.960
I spent a lot more time putting value into that thing than into the thoughts that I should have been considering about my life and where I'm going and processing what's around me and enjoying where I'm at and being present and in the moment.
00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:30.799
For years I worked towards that vehicle.
00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:34.400
It's nothing amazing.
00:19:35.680 --> 00:19:37.920
But I bought that vehicle.
00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:42.000
I own that Black Dodge Challenger.
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:46.000
Might not be quite as sweet as the one on my screen, but it's pretty damn close.
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:50.720
Oh, how I valued that thing.
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:54.960
She's never seen salt, it's always been in the garage.
00:20:00.480 --> 00:20:03.039
I didn't drive it once this year.
00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:08.240
I didn't drive it once this year.
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:11.200
I haven't registered it in two years.
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:17.119
And right now, it's sitting in my driveway, covered in ice and snow.
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:22.640
What happened to the value I placed on the thing?
00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:34.720
Having this conversation, I think about how many thoughts were wasted focusing on the thing.
00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:37.519
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:40.160
I'm recording in the garage.
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On the other side of me is my Harley Davidson Road King that I can't tell you the last time I enjoyed.
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But oh boy, did I obsess and value those things.
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Oh, how hard I worked for those things.
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I obsessed over those things.
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I put the greatest value in those things.
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I made myself miserable trying to attain those things.
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I doubted myself.
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I talked down to myself and I compared myself to all the people that had those things.
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And I thought about the feelings associated with those things.
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And I self-sabotaged myself because I didn't have those things, because I didn't feel adequate because I was missing those things.
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If I focus on the negative thoughts that I was consuming me, if I focus on the negative thoughts that were overtaking me, if I could have canceled those out, how much better would I have felt?
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Now, granted, I appreciated the things when I attained them, but how quickly do we lose the appreciation for the things that we strive for, that we work for?
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So I want to start 2026 with some new thoughts.
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New year, new thoughts, and a new challenge to each and every one of us to reduce the value we place on things.
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I am not asking you to abandon goals, but to focus less on self-imposed deadlines to attain tangible things.
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Instead, let's emphasize positive thoughts towards the goals, starting with positive thoughts about ourselves.
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So here's the thing, folks goals are essential.
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Hopes, dreams, aspirations, essential.
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But we often compare ourselves to so many others based off the things they acquire that we don't have.
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And if you're like me and you're shooting for that truck or that or that car, you have these self-imposed deadlines that you stress over, that you worry about, that you strive for.
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Instead, if we could shed a light on positive thoughts towards those goals, starting with some positive thoughts about ourselves.
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When you're talking to yourself, you get to be right.
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When you're talking to yourself, you get to be right 100% of the time.
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There's nobody negotiating with you but you.
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When you talk to yourself, you get to be right.
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If you tell yourself you can't do it, then guess what?
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You cannot do it.
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You win.
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You always win.
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You get the right to win.
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You are always right when you talk to yourself.
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When you say to yourself I can't do it, then you shall not do it.
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Let's just peel back a few layers of the onion a little bit and just start thinking about all the times in life you didn't do something, you didn't try something, you didn't achieve something because you convinced yourself that you weren't adequate enough to try, to take the chance, to take the risk, to ask the girl.
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Think about it.
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How many times did you not do something or achieve something because you convinced yourself you couldn't do it?
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Or how many times did you make the leap of faith to do it?
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But that self-doubt, that self-sabotage, negative thoughts and talks never truly gave yourself a fair shake at attaining what it is you set out for in the first place.
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Another thing to focus on with these self-talks, with this self-evaluation, with these thoughts, is that we make assumptions and interpretations on the little things in life, then we ruminate till they become big things.
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This is in regards to all things.
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Have you ever misinterpreted a text message from a co-worker, from uh a friend, from um, you know, uh your spouse?
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Have you ever misinterpreted something?
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Like when you find yourself reading in between the lines here.
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What do they mean by that emoji?
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Like, what confused face?
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Like, what are they what are they getting at here?
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Or they just responded with a K instead of an OK?
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Like, how lazy are we to just put a K?
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