Turning Struggles Into Growth: The Power of Connection and Motivation 178

A Sunday drive and my old man's truck turns into a drive down memory lane. Conversations with business owners puts perspective on some small business struggles and we end it all with some advice from a baseball hall of famer. All that and more on today's episode of Share the Struggle Podcast. Let me tell you something Everybody struggles. The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life. If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you. You have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations, challenge you, humble you and they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be Hot dick of the day. I'm so excited to be back with you. How you be doing, boo? You got me straight up tripping boo, I don't know. Interesting start. Welcome to Share the Struggle Podcast episode 178, and I hope y'all be feeling great. We gots to be Okay. Holidays are here. It's all upon us. The holiday season, the happy, happiest time of the year is here, hope y'all are gearing up and spending time with family. If you're a long time listener, a loyal listener of Share the Struggle Podcast, if you've gone round and round with me around the holiday season, you know how special this time of year is for all of my family and just really how much it means to us that the holidays are special. We try to take this opportunity for some memories and, as luck would have it, for my family and our traditions and our history. Like I said, if you've been following along, you know that years ago I lost my grandfather on Christmas Eve. A couple weeks before that I lost my brother. This year, losing my dad right before Thanksgiving, it seems like those big losses in our life and our family, those pillars in our family. We tend to lose them around the holidays for whatever reason, and a lot of people would think that that is sad or would think that you know that's something that robs the holidays from you. And that's not the truth. That's not how we look at it. I use the holidays as an opportunity to honor the family that I have lost. I use the holidays as an opportunity to remember those people and those memories, and you know it's especially hard right now because I did just lose my dad, but I do know that next year I'll spend this whole season thinking about all that we've done, the 40 years that we had. This year it hurts a little bit more because it's so raw and real. I'm still trying to process it and it is something that, I'll be honest, I still don't really feel is real, right. That's the struggle. That's a tough thing, as it doesn't necessarily feel real. It feels like that the world just keeps spinning and that you don't really know what's right or what's wrong. What's going on. It's weird. And again I'm going to say the same warning message, read that same warning label. That's pre-cautionary tale that this is not a woe is me episode. This is not a plea for help, a cry for help. That's not what this is about. This is not a oh my, how did this happen to me? That's not that. That's not me. That's not this episode. This shit happens to all of us. It has happened or will happen to every one of us. These are the facts of life. These are the things that we don't like to think about. We don't like to talk about, but we always have to work out because it will happen. These things happen and each week when I come on here and I share what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what's going on, it's not a plea for help, it's not begging for attention, it's not that at all. It is a raw, real-time response to life, to what I'm feeling and to what I'm going through. This podcast is labeled share the struggle for your reason. This is obviously the biggest struggle I have ever dealt with in my life and I'm sharing with you, with everyone, what I'm dealing with, what I'm going through, what I'm growing through, because I hope and I pray in doing so, this will offer some support, some strength, some hope to any one of you that has been where I have been or will eventually go where I am going. This is what I hope to be a beacon of light, episodes of strength and struggle, and it's really about our journey, how things happen, how we process, how we pick up, how we carry on, and that's why I continue to have these episodes. Certain that in the next few weeks we can move away from some of these episodes, but I'm also certain that at some time I'm going to have another episode where I come on here and I just push record and all I can think about is my old man. It's going to happen. That's life, and every one of you that has reached out to me, that has been down this road, that has already, unfortunately, walked this road and cleared this path, you've expressed to me that you're going to have good days and bad, and you're going to put these things behind you and you're going to get to carry it on and something's going to happen, something's going to pop up and then you're going to trip up and you're going to stall and you're going to go back to thinking and processing and digesting and not understanding, and when those things happen, I'm going to turn on the microphone and I'm going to push record and I'm going to share it with each and every one of you, because I want this to be something we can all grow through. That, if you are one of the lucky ones, one of the fortunate ones, that has your loved ones by your side for this holiday season, if it's two years, 20 years from now, and you are forced to deal with a tragic loss, through a difficult time in your life, that you can say hey, man, I already grew through this with Keith on the podcast. I'm going to go back and listen to those episodes, because this will live on forever. So, again, thank you for everybody that has been dialing in, listening and tuning in and sending your love and your support. I can't thank you enough and that's the reason why I'm going to continue to share this story by emotions, my thoughts, my fears, all those things. It's all because of you. I'm going to share this, all because of you. So I thank you for your continued support, and I wasn't going to start to show with this, but I'm going to have to say I continue to be blown away by each and every one of you. Man, a lot of the people that have been reaching out to listen to the podcast, a lot of you don't. You have a mixed bag right, like a 50, 50, 60, 40 split here, but for those of you that are listening, that have sent a card, that have left a message, a voicemail, a text message, an email, a direct message, stopped by with a meal, with a hug, whatever it is, those of you that I haven't heard from that, pray for me and my family. All of you. I've been blown away by all your support and I truly can't thank you enough. I can't thank you enough and it's one of those lessons, one of those bright spots in this journey, in this struggle, is the support from each and every one of you, because it's in these difficult times, it's in these hard times when we realize just how blessed we are. I'm struggling, as all y'all know and can understand, but I'm fortunate and I'm blessed and I'm thankful for so many reasons and because of so many faces and conversations. It's hard to put into words. I literally can't even close my eyes and think of every single person that I've heard from. He's been staggering and I just want you to know that I appreciate you and that I thank you all so much. Some of these things are so surprising to me I don't know how to put this out there. I don't want to leave anybody out and I know I can't mention everybody by name, but just to kind of highlight some of the things that I'm thinking about, it's moments like Amanda leaving a meal under like a weeks with a groceries, basically at my mailbox. It's Jen coming over with her dad with hot soup and fresh baked cookies. My extended family, the people that I consider real family, that aren't blood but are connected by love, that I've met all the way out in Syracuse, new York, there's a group of my friends. Fuck that Family. I have family that have disowned me. I have family that has left me and it has moved on, and that's a struggle that we can share in an upcoming episodes as well, or maybe I'll touch on a little bit of that here shortly. I don't know what. During these episodes I just push record y'all. There's too much going on in my world. I don't really know where we're going today. I don't know where we're gonna finish today, I when we're gonna finish today. So I apologize, but to my chosen family, to the real family, the ones that care, the ones that love, there's a group of family that are gonna travel the six plus hours from New York to be by my side For my dad, service man, lance, jen, kevin, amy, making this, this journey. I don't, I don't know how to, I don't know how to say thank you, I don't. I'm so, so blessed, I'm blown away by this amazing gesture. And, uh, you Know, I know, kevin and Amy, I'm not sure if you actually got the chance to meet my old man, lance and Jen, I know that you uh met, met him once, and, man, how fortunate, how fortunate, how blessed am I to have that love and support. How many people listen right now would drive six hours. One way to be by the side of A friend, of a family member that you Want to support, that's mourning somebody that you never met or you met once, that's a true testament to character and a heart. And I can't, I can't believe it. And that's just. That's just the start of it, man. That's just the start of what's been going on in my life. I need to shout out and thank Matt and Sarah Perkins from Ledger Way Farm. That's listen to a few of my episodes and, being the business owner that he is, he um, and knowing the depths and details of my journey and story and and and my brand for a loud, proud American, he has. He reached out because he could hear that I'm at a moment of doubt and weakness with my brand, with my business, with my dream, and he sent me this amazing Message Followed by a 30 minute motivational video that ironically, had a couple of my biggest Life inspirations in it and biggest motivated. Less brown and Bishop TD Jakes were in that audio clip. I don't know if Matt knows that or or like knows who they are or recognizes their voices or not, but they're two men that I've listened to all the time and hearing their words when I realized there was something that that I have not allowed myself to do. Right like I. When you're listening to a video, right like I, when you're going through these things and you're processing things, you, you eliminate some of those routines in life, you eliminate some of the comfort things in life. You just try to get on right, you're just trying to navigate the checklist and, um, you lose sight of some of the things that have kept you grounded and, um, those were one of those things. I'm a man that always listens to motivation and to books and such, and After I listened to that video and was outside, working and crying and doing whatever, and I felt motivated, I went back to some of my normalcy. I went back to, um, audible books and and those things, um, searching for comfort, strength, inspiration. But it was still fitting to me that matt sent me that video, because hearing two men that I, that I Always constantly try to listen to, that I'm inspired by realizing that I've lost sight of doing those things. And then it's, it makes a, a complete circle in my life, and this is when I'm going to shout out some of y'all listening right now that are that are day ones, and when I say day one, you are one of those loyal listeners that have been here since day one. Either you've listened from our first episode back in july of 2020, or you started listening shortly thereafter and you went all the way back to episode one and you started the fun right where we begun. You're a day one. You're a loyal one to all of you that are listening. You know, early on, in those uh, first few months of shows, those early episodes, I mentioned to you a time in my life where, where I was lost, where I just came out of a very um, I don't know how to, how to really explain it. I came out of a, a really unhealthy the seven-year relationship and I was trying to find myself and I was going down down a bad road. I was, I was drinking a lot, I was partying a lot, I was I'm making a lot of bad decisions and, um, I had this friend, this, this amazing friend of mine, emily, that um Sent me a video one night. She sent me a message. I was on my way back to the bar, uh, for all the wrong reasons. And, uh, she sent me this, this 10 minute or so, uh, motivational video. Some of those same voices were in that video Les Brown td jakes. They were in there. And the reason why I can say that, and the reason why I know that, is that that video hit me so hard that I I pulled over, I listened to it, I drove to the bar, I was parked in the back parking lot and I listened to that video time after time after time, and I never got out of the vehicle. I fired my truck back up and I drove home and I spent the night at home and I began to write all of the words, every, every sentence, every paragraph, word by word, line by line. I wrote every single part of that message down. I listened to it, get a sentence, write it, listen to it. Next sentence, write it the whole way through, until I had that printed so I could read it, I could remember it, I could go to it, I could call to it, and then I began to search out those voices. Who are they? When are they speaking? Because it's one of those youtube montages, right, you see, like a rocky climb on the side of a mountain, but you hear somebody else's voice. I've seeked out every voice I could until I could identify Each and every speaker that was in that highlight reel. And then I absorbed as much of their content as possible to help save me, rescue me. And it was really just a battle cry for me and that, that video, that motivational video, changed my life. It absolutely changed my life, because it it really just smacked me in the face and and it called me to um, make a change. And and I did, and I lived by that video when I followed that video and that message. And then, again back to my day ones, a few months later, I'm actually hosting a wet t-shirt contest at the dealership that I ended up becoming a partner at, and I meet this young lady there with her friend or friends in the contest and you know, I mean, I'm kind of a catch, let's be honest and, uh, she friend requested me on facebook and I started obviously paying attention to everything that she was doing. And there was a night where I was at champion sports bar and I think I was watching football and I was just sitting at the bar and I was by myself and I found myself scrolling through facebook and I saw this beautiful, beautiful young girl struggle. It Going through what I was going through and in the first message I ever sent to her, I sent her a message and she said I know I don't really know you, but I think this could benefit you. This was sent to me when I was going through a difficult time and I want to return the favor and send it to you and I sent this video. That video led to messages, phone calls, first dates, led to moving in with my parents, led to asking her to marry me, led to me meeting my best friend and watching that beautiful girl turn into a beautiful woman and become my beautiful wife and become someone that my dad loved and was proud of, and that's important to me. What I'm saying here is one motivational video sent out of the blue by a great friend, changed my life and I had to apply what was said. But it changed my life and, if you think about it, it took me from the bar and it brought me to my wife and it shaped and molded my relentless pursuit of what I wanted. When I was at that dealership, when I got that video, I was a sales consultant. I listened to that video. I would time it and say, all right, you got about 10 minutes before you get off the interstate. Play it, listen to it, talk to it, feel it, go back in and crush it. Just a few months after that I was promoted to sales manager. That dealership fired the sales manager. I took the job and I was off and running and then I shared that video with coworkers, with colleagues, one of my best friends, darren C Finnegan. I shared it and he became an assistant sales manager and then I began to move on to a GM and to an owner. That video changed my life. So when, out of nowhere, Matt Perkins sent me a motivational video that was just as powerful, I'm excited about the changes that are gonna come from that video. Matt, I love you and I can't thank you and Sarah enough for all that you've done for Ally and my mom and myself over the past couple of years on the road, getting to know you, spending the time. You guys have been a tremendous resource and a sense of hope for my business and where I can go because I can see you doing it. You're further down the road, but you're blazing a trail and you're leaving clues behind and I thank you for those clues and for those that love and that support. And we've become more than just acquaintances, we've become more than fellow vendors, we've become family and I love you and I thank you. And this family that I've been making on the road it just keeps growing. And I got a heartwarming message from Kyle from Underdog Metal, when he saw me just getting back to work and just being thankful to see me trying again and checking in on me, and we had a heartfelt conversation that I'd never imagined or didn't think was possible and it just warmed me, man. The conversations with the entire family at Wallston, woodcraft, pam and Paul, the messages, scott, lindsay, the messages, the support, the love and the cards you sent and everybody's cards that have been sent, spencer, rachel, out in Louisiana all these cards, man. All these messages, these messages, this love. I've realized that I have a lot more support than I ever imagined. I realized that I have a lot more good fortune than I ever imagined. And that's what I'm gonna take from these tough times. These tough times have brought out thoughtful conversations which have highlighted true blessings. And that's what I'm taking from these times tough times, thoughtful conversations, true blessings. And it's true because during these times, I think that we all search for what's right to say, and I've been in the shoes of all of you that wanna reach out to someone that has lost someone so important to them. When you're saying to yourself, what can I do or say to correctly convey just how much I feel for you and just how much sympathy or thoughts and love I can possibly offer you, and when you're truly thinking about the right things to say and the perfect way and what to do. There's so much thought that goes into that and it's a real transparent honesty that happens right when you're wanting to say the right thing. You're wanting to say something, do something, show something that makes a difference in that person that you care about that's struggling. So so much thought goes into that that some real transparent conversations take place. Some real difficult topics take place. Emotions are shed and expressed and processed that you wouldn't normally process, and I've cried a hell of a lot more than I expected. I've cried a lot more than I've wanted, and that's happened with so many of you that are listening, with so much thought and heart and emotion goes into a phrase, into a text, into a sentence, into a speech. Nothing can go wrong there. Right, your heart and your thought is in the right place for the right reason. And these tough times bring out those difficult thoughts and conversations. And because of those two ingredients the tough times and all the thought that goes into trying to say the right thing true blessings emerge because the two people that enter those feelings together, they come out better for them. They come out feeling absolutely, truly blessed and thankful. And that's where I'm at and I just I can't be getting to go down on a list of names I know I've started to do that, but it's. I'm just trying to highlight a few of the points. And to each and every one of you that have reached out, I want you to know that I'm absolutely, absolutely, truly thankful and blessed. Those of you that you know we've maybe met on the road and you've made a purchase with me and that's turned into multiple layers of support and listening to the podcast and continuing to buy things, but we've never spent a lot of time together reaching out and leaving me, like your phone number, like hey, man, if you need something, this is me, like all these things, man, it's a blessing. You know, brother Todd, reaching out just about every day, man, just to see how you're doing and that understanding of like you know what. I'm not gonna hear from you every day, but just know that I'm here for you every day. And, man, I know I'm trying to put this into words but I really can't and I don't want this to be the whole message of today's show, but I just hope there's a hope. That's a great word. I just hope there's a layer of hope for everyone when I say this and when you listen and when you think about tough times that you either bend through or that you're going through and realize that in those tough times you're gonna have some thoughtful conversations and those conversations are gonna lead to true blessings for you. So I hope and pray that that happens for you. Man, I'm gonna take a minute here to collect myself and try to change the tone for today's show, so on that note, gatcha, this is my business. Laow Proud American is a lifestyle brand, dedicated and determined to represent the American spirit, with an unrelenting commitment to provide made in the USA products. If you would like to join the 2% of Americans that buy American and support American, head on over to wwwLaowProudAmericanshop. Together we can bring back American manufacturing. All right? All right, all right, welcome back y'all. I appreciate you, each and every one of you. I appreciate y'all so much that I just thought of something during the break here. Y'all ready for this? This is episode 178. So, in honor of episode 178, I got an idea. You can go on the Laow Proud American website and purchase yourself a Share the Shoggle podcast t-shirt for the price of 1780. What do you think about that? 1780, get it 178? Ha ha, that's right. 1780, in honor of episode 178, go on the website wwwLaowProudAmericanshop and pick up yourself a Share the Shoggle podcast t-shirt. My story, my struggle, y'all Find it for 1780. That's insane, y'all. Okay, I think that's pretty sweet. Don't forget to find all things podcast related at wwwShareTheShogglePodcastcom. Leave a review, say hey, how do you do? There's actually a link to the store there as well If you're looking to buy some of that podcast merch, but for a limited time. And honor of episode 178, 1780. That's just my way of paying it forward, y'all. Y'all continue to support. I'm gonna try to return the favor with a sweet ass deal. Speaking of paying it forward, saturday evening I had the opportunity to DJ a surprise party. It was a lot of fun. It was a Redneck party, so it was right. In my wheelhouse. Y'all had to pick Redneck names. Allie picked ours, she was Dixie, I was Cooter. I think those are a couple of winners there, but we had a great time. It was really awesome to see. But there was this time in the evening where maybe some folks had a few too much to drink and they ended up outside and a couple of good friends ended up fighting each other. And I don't even know these guys. I met one of them for the first time that night and the one that I met he actually got some like assault charges on him and by the end of the night I was packing up gear, the wife and I, we were ready to leave and he was outside waiting for his wife and when she came out to leave she walked by him and was leaving with her mother and he got emotional and was like where are you going? What's going on? I've been waiting for you. And her mom kind of stepped in and was like hey, you've been drinking, she's been drinking. I'm not gonna continue this tonight. We're just guys, figure it out tomorrow. And he's a couple of hours away from home and I had asked him if he needed a ride and he said he was obviously not looking for a ride and long to short of it. I seen some of my friends, some of my family over there trying to talk him down and he was having a tough time. He was really on the having a breakdown and I could see everything he was doing and expressing and he was, I guess, from what I kind of heard, suddenly maybe he was threatening to harm himself, to do stupid things and I don't know this fella. And I just walked into this conversation and I guess I'm a big enough dude that I can enter a room and get some attention. But you run that risk of like this guy's in a crisis and I'm just gonna show up, you know. But I walked in there and put my hand on his chest and got his attention and said hey man, I know I just met you, but you seem like a good dude. And what I'm here to tell you is that spending one night apart is a hell of a lot easier than spending every night apart. Take care of yourself, Don't be stupid. This will be gone before you know it. Right, you'll have an opportunity tomorrow. Tomorrow's another day. You're guaranteed the opportunity of a conversation tomorrow. Don't do anything stupid. Right? And he was, he was balling and he gave me a hug and he thanked me and I just, you know, kind of left the situation. But just one of those things where I feel like I've been struggling and y'all have been supporting me, y'all have been reaching out to me, showering me with positivity, and I wanted to return the favor and interject myself into a difficult moment with a complete stranger and I did and it felt genuine and like I had an impact and I just hope that you know, by walking away after that, that person said hey, man, if someone from you know complete other walk of life that doesn't know me for any you know ounce of a moment took the time to come over and to recognize and acknowledge what I'm going through, that hopefully it made some kind of difference. But I just wanted to share that. That was just that, that paid forward moment, and it's something that I've been thinking about a lot, because I don't feel like we spend enough time being willing to have difficult conversations or putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations, and that's what life's about, right, and yeah, I just wanted to share that with you. But after that evening, the next morning Ali and myself we were heading out to New Hampshire, about an hour and a half away from the homestead. The wife found this guy on Facebook Marketplace that was selling some fixtures like some store fixtures, and I've wanted a t-shirt tower for a little while. It's a rolling rack that displays t-shirts and you can stack them up alongside the display. Hard to explain, but I had them back in the Harley-Davidson days and I was looking for one that I could possibly incorporate into what we have to offer and there was two of them and this fell as add these two under armor rolling carts. And anyways, I talked to him and he agreed to hold him until Sunday and there was some other things in the ad that I was interested in and they were at a storage unit about an hour and a half away and I said you know, would it be okay, if you know, I go through the unit and maybe pick up a few other things? And he said that was totally cool and you know I was like all right, we're gonna do this, I'll meet you at 10 in the morning on Sunday. And Sunday in Maine it was raining with a mix of snow and I didn't wanna put these items outside on the elements. They're not gonna fit in my car they're not gonna fit in Ali's car and my truck is full of lumber and it's actually open to the elements. But my dad's truck, you know, he just has actually a truck that my cousin gave him, that he was really proud of the single cab, long bed with a cap on it, and I decided to take his truck to keep everything out of the elements and to take my mom with me and Ali rode shotgun in the middle and that's not shotgun, is it? What would that be called? I don't know. She rode side saddle in the middle there and my mom was shotgun and I was driving and we all lined up in this single cab and headed out an hour and a half and we were able to just spend time shooting this shit about all topics in life and spend time together in my dad's truck. And I think it's something that I'm sure he was proud of, that he enjoyed, that. He never thought in a million years he would see right. So that was fun, man. It was this Sunday, just stroll, and we had many things to do but we kind of took them all off the list and just enjoyed time with each other. And when we got to the location, his fellow met me and ironically his name was Keith and he was a wicked, awesome dude, genuine guy. And when I started talking to him I saw the racks and I was like, yeah, I'll take those. And I started mannequin that I had been looking for and that opened my eyes to the possibility of them being more, and I asked if I could like have a look. And we started talking and then he got really emotional with us and said you know, because I was asking him, where did you get all this stuff? A lot of times you'll see on like Facebook, somebody will buy out a business and all their like fixtures and furnishings and then they'll try to resell them. But that's not the case with this fellow here. This was actually his son's business and he started getting emotional as he told us. He said you know, I have two gay sons and they opened a business in the mall to support the gay community and offer, you know, merchandise and all these different things. But we just closed the store in the mall and you know we're moving to more of an online basis, so we're liquidating some of these things. And he started getting emotional and he started to tell me about some of the struggles that they had running a business in the mall and my initial thought was I went right to yeah, man, I hear the rent in the malls out of control and they're not really, you know, giving you what you pay for because you're not bringing in the foot traffic. And he said, well, that's, that's part of it, but that's the smallest part of it. The mall really didn't want us there anymore because they're tired of the backlash, they're tired of, you know, all the things that were coming from it and security was tired of always being called there because there was always a disturbance, there was always something going on. And you know, we we had to cancel our phone line because we couldn't have a phone line without getting harassment calls and prank calls and death threats over the phone. And it became a thing where we weren't welcome, you know, and that we were just met with so much backlash. You know, in the beginning the community surrounded us and they were on TV and they were in newspapers and all these things, and it turned into something bigger than they could handle and they started to receive all this backlash and you know, I shared our story with him about you know. Hey, I mean, we're in a parallel brand as well, and our focus is on American manufacturing. And you'd be surprised to know that wherever we go, we are met with opposition. We are met with people that don't believe in what we're doing or consider us some kind of political conspiracy group and they don't want us there. But I left there having a conversation with my family that said man, can you imagine? Can you imagine what they went through? And it just makes what we have gone through seem so small, so absolutely small, because I'm not getting the threats right. I get right, we have some people that freak out and we ask people to you know, tell me to fuck off and this and that, but I can only imagine what they dealt with. And you just start to think about it and it's like we all have a dream. Everybody has a dream, no matter what you believe in, no matter who you vote for, what you put on every day, what you pray for every night, whatever your beliefs are, regardless of who you are and what you do. We all have a dream and it's if we all have a dream and we're working towards that dream and in no way shape or form trying to hurt others, trying to hold back others, but you're getting hurt and you're getting held back and you're getting attacked. That's, that's not what life's about. And and you think about the struggle and you know who we are two really polar, opposite types of brands, but all with the same, the same dreams. Right, a common dream, a common goal. And we're both being met with opposition. And I would say that mine is one fragment of a percentage of what they had to deal with. And and Just puts in perspective all those times that you know you, you set up out of fare and you realize you're not welcomed and you're just like man, I've got ten or twelve hours a day of this for a week, of these people not wanting me to be here, and you're just going through that and how difficult that is. And then imagine if you were in a mall paying rent With a lease and you can't go anywhere and you're dealing with that every single day. It just kind of put it in perspective and it's just kind of realize that Every business struggles, every business has a layer of difficulty that they have to get through. And last week I shared with you that I've been having these doubts about my brand, about my business and what's best for my family and when I start to think about some of the things other businesses are going through, it really Starts to put your own struggles in a perspective. So, after having that experience this week, what we're planning for my dad's service? My dad's service is going to be on Saturday. We're gonna have the funeral on Saturday and I'm gonna conduct the service and then we have a celebration of life and I've been able to secure some nice surprises for my dad and I still have a lot of work to do that I have to, that I have to pull off in a few days here. But my mom wanted to go to a local florist that that that she's been working with since she was a kid Tom's florist in and in Bitterford and it's th? Oms, but Tom's. He's been great to my family and he has this little little flower shop that you know my grandparents were using. You know, long before I was around, that my mom was a kid and she's always stuck with him and stayed true to him. Whenever the family needs flowers, toms who we go to, and we were in there yesterday and my mom was, you know, picking out everything she wanted and she was having a conversation with him and you know just the heartfelt, touching conversation. And Then my mom at the end of it paid with cash. And he stopped and he looked at her and he said I don't know the last time I seen somebody pay with cash in here. And my mom said, well, that's kind of what I like to do. You pay enough fees around here, you know. And it was kind of choked up by it and said thank you, but people don't realize how much we lose as a business paying on. You know all the fees and the processings and and. And he gave her some savings for doing so and you know, and just had this great conversation and you know I thought about how much the cash made a difference to him. Right, and I couldn't decide on flowers for my dad and my dad's not a big flower type of guy. But as I was there, I kind of came up with this idea, but I couldn't pull it off while I was there, so I Told my mom I had an idea and we left and I told Tom what I was thinking and he was excited and we went home and I worked on something and Did what my dad would do and then we went back there today as soon as he opened and when I walked in with it, he was like Great, you came up with something. And he was so excited and just said you know, this is gonna be special and and then I really feel like I hit home on what my dad would want and my Mom paid in cash and you he got emotional. And then we started to have these conversations as business owners because we told him that you know, I started the business during COVID and the impact it had on me. And then we went down this road where he said you know how impacted he is by all the credit card processing fees, all the different fees you pay when you take, you know, a credit card or something, and the impact that his business has had. And he said I don't think people realize but people don't really send flowers anymore, like that's a, that's an old tradition, it's it's kind of a dying tradition. People just don't send flowers just because, you know, when it's one of those things where it seems like people are waiting for somebody to die before they do send flowers. And he said and if we do send flowers, everybody goes online and they overpay for something and they never see something. They don't have the opportunity to create something. And I said I feel like the art has been taken out of flowers when you do it that way. And he he got so just taken by that and was like you are absolutely right, we lost the art of flower making when FTD was created. And he said it's all these generic scenarios and pictures and cookie cutter applications that you know is just all online and people just purchased from their office fucking chair or from their couch. And he said that the flower shop that does the business, that does the labor, that puts in the work, they might get 70%, 60% of what that. What that deal is because of your paying the fees. And then you have the processing fees. Like FTD or whatever flower company you might use, they're going to, they're going to get their charges right Because they're hosting everything, so they're going to take a percentage and then they're going to, you know, dispatch it over to you and then you're going to pay them a fee for actually using their service. Then you're going to pay to process the credit cards, like all these different transactions, and by the time it's all said and done, you might make 70% of that and you never get to meet anybody. You never got to make an impression. Tom's been doing flowers for my family since before I was born. My mom goes to him because of the relationship, relationship retail has been falling by the wayside. The internet, it's one more thing. It's killed is relationship retail and because of that, customer service has suffered, no matter where you go. And that's one of the things we always talk about. But I couldn't help but really think about his struggle and everything he goes through and to realize that, wow, your market really is getting cut. People are not going through the traditions of sending flowers. You remember when I was a kid. I remember being in school and like a little girl had a birthday and flowers showed up at the school and all these different occasions and these things happened. And husband sending flowers for an anniversary, all these things that don't. They don't really happen anymore, man, and it was just crazy to think about it. And then you think, wow, you're right, all the internet and how that's cut so many things. And I thought about my struggles during COVID. And then he went on to mention his and to say that you know, people weren't doing anything during COVID. So I'm not doing displays for weddings, I'm not doing things for, you know, anniversary parties or what have you. There's no real funerals that are heavily attended, so people aren't buying flowers or sending flowers to these, to these, these funerals, and then all these events are canceled. And you think about that, and you think about the trickle down effect, the trickle down effect that it has on that business, that it takes years to recover from that If you're able to sustain that and to remain in business. It takes years to recover from that. And I thought about somebody that's been in business and I forgot to ask him for how long. But I've been around for 40 years, so I would assume he's been around for longer to make it through COVID, to struggle through, and it just makes you realize that when I struggle with things, when I struggle with funding, when I struggled with production, when I struggle with, you know, vehicle troubles and questioning myself and what I'm doing in my direction, you can look at any other business, any other small business, big business and realize they're either struggling or they've been struggling or they're about to struggle. There's all these layers of struggle that we've all gone through, that we've all grown through, and everybody's struggle is different. But everybody's struggle is real and it's difficult and it's something you have to get through if you want to be in business. And it's very easy to really focus in on yourself and what it is you're going through and to make that false narrative that you're the only one going through or something. It's very easy to just self isolate and to pull the pity card and to be woes me and only focus on me and to tell yourself that, man, the odds are against me, the cards are stacked against me and you know why does? Why does life hate me, why does God hate me? And those things are all bullshit, those things are all excuses, and I've never for a moment sat here in the past few weeks and said you know, god hates me, life's got it out for me. That's not the case. I'm blessed. I'm thankful for the 40 years I have with my old man. I'm thankful for the relationship I built with him. I'm blessed by each and every one of you. I'm thankful for the opportunities. I'm blessed by this podcast and the fact that we stay connected we can always be connected the fact that I feel like, by sharing our stories, we're paying it forward, that we're echoing a message, that of hope and possibility. I'm blessed by all of your support by all these great things in life, all the great people I've met while chasing this dream, for this brand. So I've never once sat back and thought woe is me. But I have sat back and contemplated the struggle and the difficulty and what it takes to take that next leap, to take that next step. And over the past few days, realizing that my struggles are one and the same in some sense and don't even compare in another, makes me encouraged by the possibilities. It makes me confident in my journey and in my struggle and in my fight and my ability, want and desire to chase my dream. And I really hope that much. Like Matt and Sarah's leaving clues for me along their path to success, I feel like I'm leaving clues for somebody else and their path and their trail. And it's the truth man, success leaves clues. It's all in how you read them, relate to them, respond to them and put them into action. And I met some people over the past week that have, without knowing it, really shown me some things and made me realize that my struggles are, are small, small, small, small in the sea of possibility. And that goes on in life and in business y'all, when you lose somebody, when you lose someone or something that's close to you, that's important to you. It's part of the process, it's part of the struggle and it's really part of the test for you to ask yourself how bad do you want something and how bad do you want to honor someone? Do you want to carry on the legacy of someone that's passed on? Do you want to chase a dream that you have? Do you want to live for something or someone? All those things are all questions on the test of life. Sometimes you get dealt a difficult test. No matter how much you studied for that test, you're not prepared for that test. It's how you respond to it and that's what it's about, man. That's what I'm here to do is to respond to this test, and I want to leave you with something I heard this week and I can't say that it really connects completely with everything that we've had on today's episode, but I think we can maybe draw some similarities, some connection to it, but regardless, it's a positive message that I wanted to share. I'm a big sports fan, if you guys don't already know, and right now it's a special time for Major League Baseball. Right now, which most people would say what are you talking about. It's the winter time, but it's the annual winter meetings where all the owners, managers, general managers, they all get together and they can be on one location and they're all there trying to negotiate business. And this is when a lot of trades happen and free agency happens, a lot of deals get signed, people start to get new places and new faces and all these things happen and I'm a junkie for that. And right now it's happening in Nashville, tennessee, and it's happening at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel, which actually fun fact for you the wife and I we had a two part honeymoon. Took us some years to save for it, but part of our honeymoon was going to Nashville and then part of it was staying at the Gaylord. And I have it on actually in the background right now with the sound off and one of the reporters as he's out there talking. If I look over his left shoulder I can actually see into the room where the wife and I stayed for our honeymoon, so it's kind of fitting. But while I'm watching this, this week they also voted in a new member of the baseball Hall of Fame and it's a longtime coach, jim Leglen. Jim was known for crushing heaters and the dugout. And when I say heaters, I mean smoke. He's an old school coach. He wore cleats and had smoke in the dugout. He'd have to hide by the bench and smoke smoke butts. But he was elected to the Hall of Fame and he was at the Hall of Fame ceremony would be in the summertime or the springtime, but he's there and giving interviews and talking about you know his feelings and all these things. And they asked him about some advice, right, like what's some, what's some coaching advice? And he was talking about delivering news to a player. And if you think about a coach, how many times you might have to tell somebody hey, you're getting benched, you're getting moved down to the minors, you're getting traded, you're getting cut. You know you lost your position. Think about all those difficult conversations that you could, that you could have with a player. And Jim Leglen said that if you mislead a player, you'll lose them forever. If you tell them the truth, you lose them for 24 hours. Think of that for a moment. Tell them the truth, losing for 24 hours. We've all been there, right? You've heard something, you've been told something, maybe by a spouse, maybe by your dad, maybe by your mom, a loved one, a boss, a co-worker. Somebody might told you something that was the truth and it hurts you and it's stung and it might have pissed you off and you might have told him to go fuck off. But within 24 hours you thought about it, you thought it through and you realized it was true and you go back to that person and you make right with that person. Think about that for a second Process that the truth. Tell them the truth, the truth. Lose them for 24 hours. If you mislead somebody, you'll lose them forever. If you lie about something, if you hide something, you risk the possibility of losing that someone forever. What's going on in your life right now that you could make the ultimate change by telling the truth? What struggle is it that you're going through, that you're growing through? Let's put it this way what struggle will you continue to go through if you mislead someone? Which struggle could you grow through if you give the truth to someone? Newly minted Hall of Fame coach, jim Leland. Mislead a player, lose him forever. Tell him the truth, losing for 24 hours. I challenge you to adopt that philosophy into your life. I understand we're not all listening here as baseball coaches and managers, but I'm sure you have a team that you manage, whether it's your family or it's yourself. There's someone, something, somebody you manage. Tell the truth. Tell the truth to yourself. Tell the truth to someone you care about. It might be difficult and you might lose it for 24 hours, but if you mislead somebody or yourself, you'll lose someone or yourself forever. Thank you for supporting my American Dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, your filthy savage. That's it and that's all. Biggie Smiles. If you found value in today's show, please return the favor and leave a positive review. Share it with someone that is important to you. Hit, subscribe and help us grow our tribe. Are you interested in sponsoring the show? Maybe you're looking to be a guest on the show? Find all that you need to know about the show at sharethestruckupodcastcom. Subscribe to Grow Our Tribe on Apple Podcasts, spotify, google Podcasts, amazon Music, iheart Radio and all other major platforms, and don't forget to like and share our official Facebook page at Share the Struggle Podcast. If you're a loud, proud American and you find and you find yourself just wanting more, you can find me on YouTube, on Facebook or the face page, as my mama calls it, just search Loud, proud American. If you're a fan of a Graham Cracker, the Instagram or the Tickety Tuck with the kids to be a tickety talking the Tick Tuck. You can search Loud Underscore, proud Underscore, american. If you want to join the 2% of Americans that support American manufacturing, head on over to wwwloudproudamericanshop and get your hands on some of that made in USA. Apparel and join the mission, mission 2%. Together we can bring back American manufacturing. A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song to Share the Struggle Podcast. You can find the Gut Truckers on Facebook. Just search Gut Truckers and show your support to those Mother Truckers. I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.