July 30, 2025
Good Parenting Or Bad Business? You Tell Me
Faced with balancing career and family, DJ Keith makes a life-changing decision to step away from his longtime gig at Bentley Saloon to focus on fatherhood and more profitable ventures.
• Reflecting on a successful final "Mullets and Daisy Dukes" night with strong crowd participation
• Struggling with staff tensions around playing past the scheduled 11 PM end time
• Entertaining an enthusiastic bachelorette party that inspired extending the night
• Delivering an unplanned, emotional farewell speech announcing retirement from bar DJ work
• Facing mixed reactions - support from those present versus misinterpreted rumors after
• Choosing to prioritize time with 10-month-old daughter Paisley over late-night gigs
• Maintaining wedding and event bookings that offer better compensation for less time
• Having a reconciliatory conversation with venue management after the announcement
• Reflecting on the balance between good parenting decisions and professional business practices
I need your help deciding: Was my impromptu retirement announcement good parenting or bad business? Share your thoughts with me and let me know what you would have done in my shoes.
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00:00 - Poll the Audience: Parenting vs Business
01:50 - The Final DJ Night at Bentley Saloon
06:36 - Setting the Scene: Mullets and Daisy Dukes
09:55 - Bachelorette Party Brings Tough Decisions
16:55 - The Impromptu Farewell Speech
30:42 - Aftermath and Personal Reflection
39:58 - Closing Thoughts and Future Priorities
WEBVTT
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Today on Share the Struggle Podcast, we're going to do things just a little bit different, because today it is going to be Poll, the Audience Day.
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That's right.
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I got a good old-fashioned show-and-tell question for you.
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The big question is is it good parenting or bad business?
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That and so much more on today's episode of Share the Struggle Podcast profound effect on the way you live your life.
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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.
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Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?
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Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.
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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.
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Most disagreements they stem from our own insecurities.
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You are right where you need to be Time leading to bad ones.
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The whole day gone from behind.
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
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What it do, what it do, hot diggity.
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Damn.
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Am I so excited to be back with you.
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Oh, it's true, back again with a new episode for you.
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Share the Turgle podcast.
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The consecutive streak keeps on rolling.
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We keep on setting records over five beautiful years, glorious years between you and me.
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So cheers.
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Here's to another week, here's to another episode, here's to some more fun in the sun A little too much sun, if you're asking me.
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Well, I mean, I don't want to say it like that, I don't want rain or anything, but we could cut back on some of the heat.
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I don't know when the summers in the Northeast just went to shit.
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It's just been too hot to quit out here.
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Okay, it's been, it's been hot, it's been steamy, but it is what it is, y'all, it ain't raining, so we'll take that.
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Coming off of another successful weekend, another busy weekend, gearing up for yet another fair over here.
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There's a lot of moving parts, a lot of balancing of the budget and jumping through hoops and all that craziness.
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All of that continues.
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But I'm going to change the subject a little bit this week and we're going to go with, like, let's call it our Montel Williams version of the show.
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We're going to pull the audience today.
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I'm going to share a recent experience with you today and I'm going to need you to tell me is it good parenting or is it bad business?
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Because that seems to be the line that has been drawn in the imaginary sand as of right now.
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That is, the kicking up of the dust in the old.
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What do you call that?
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Sandbox?
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Yeah, took me a while to come with that, but it's early.
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It's real early as I'm recording this, so both of my brain cells aren't firing accordingly.
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Just you know, I'm like on one to one and three quarters brain cell activity right now.
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So bear with me.
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But here's the thing, folks.
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I want to set the scene for you.
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We're going to pave the road, we're going to paint the picture, we're getting ready for the story to be told.
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Last week your boy over here had his last DJ, musical spectacular hostess, with the mostest emceeing event of the season at his beloved Bentley Saloon Bar.
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It was the last one on the schedule because our schedule just gets too busy from here on out so we're not able to be over there doing things.
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Our vendor schedule is over for the season and this is our last DJ event of the season Just so happens to be one of my favorite events of the year.
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This one, folks, is the redneck-type, fiend-type party which just fits right into my wheelhouse.
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It is Mullets and Daisy Dukes, which I don't even need to touch my uniform Okay, my staff uniform is enough I just show up ready to work.
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So it's perfect for me.
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I love it, and when we're doing Mullets and Daisy Dukes, I can hit on all genres of music that I love.
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It all makes sense to me.
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So this one is a beautiful one for me and I got to say it was fantastically successful.
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I was encouraged by the fact that when I rolled in, there was already people rocking mullets, wearing Daisy Dukes, getting ready for things Like the setup.
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Everything went smooth, things were good.
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I was able to rifle a snack and get right into playing and I was surprised by some great friends and family that showed up to support me.
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Allie had put out a few secretive messages asking for people to show up and I was extremely appreciative of that.
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That was heartwarming and exciting to see.
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I had some friends come out to see me that I have not seen out in years, so that was pretty special.
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That put me on a high note right out the gate.
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Okay, it was nice to be um just celebrated and and and um appreciated.
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So I loved, I loved all of that.
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I um.
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I had my, my brother from another mother, toby, and his wife Ashton, roll in super early and I was like what the hell are you guys doing here?
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I haven't seen you at the saloon in years and they said we came here to support you.
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And later on in the night, my brother Chris and his wife Katie.
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They rolled in to support me and my brother Jay.
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These people all came in and said hey, man, I'm here for you Wouldn't miss it.
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Jay said he was actually in bed shutting it down for the night when Ali messaged him and he came out.
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So, again, the love and support that, above and beyond anything, is what makes all the difference to me, and over the past few weeks I've realized just how much love and support we actually have.
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And it's tremendous.
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There's so many stories between our trip to New York, what transpired when I came back Chris stepping up and doing something for my family that was tremendous.
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These guys coming out to support me.
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Man, I'm just telling you I could spend a whole day talking about appreciation, about gratitude, about feeling blessed, about the people that are in our lives and just how tremendous all of that is.
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But today I need to hit something that's fresh out the kitchen, right off the shelf, off the shelf, and that is did what I do.
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Do you view this as good parenting or bad business?
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So here we are Bentley Saloon.
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It is Redneck Friday night.
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It is Mullets and Daisy Dukes.
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I'm getting the support from the fam.
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They're in the house, people that are there that are participating.
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They're loving it.
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We got quite a few costumes in the crowd plenty of Daisy Dukes, plenty of mullets.
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It took us a little while to get people on the dance floor maybe half an hour or so but once they did, they didn't leave.
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It was a great time.
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It was a great turnout.
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Everybody was enjoying themselves.
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People that just happened to roll in off the streets fresh out the sheets.
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They didn't know what was happening.
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They were blown away by it.
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They were having a good time.
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So I'll just say this we're having a blast.
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I'm getting multiple requests and thank yous and hugs and hand pounds.
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Okay, it's a real love fest going on.
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Everybody's having a good time.
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It's not packed to the gills in there, but it's a pretty good crowd.
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And I will say that during the year this year I've noticed that on most nights at the saloon it's been slower than usual and I would deem this a pretty damn good crowd, better than a lot of the bands that I've seen, more activity on the dance floor than a lot of the bands that I've seen.
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So things are going good.
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I keep looking at the clock, you know, checking in, because I'm like, hey, man, this is it for me.
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This is my last one of the season.
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And then you know the rest of the DJ gigs I have at birthday parties and weddings, things like that.
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But I don't have to be, you know, at a bar away from my little one till one in the morning, that whole deal.
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So I'm looking forward to actually punching out and getting out.
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But by the end of the night we're having so much fun, the crowd's turned up, things are going good.
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It's just a great crowd.
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It's not a massive crowd but it's just a playful, interactive crowd.
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They're getting into it.
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They're dancing, they're singing along, they're jumping up and down.
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I feel like I have them hanging on by every song.
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We're really got a good vibe going here.
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And just to let you guys know, my schedule is 7 to 11.
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I've talked to the saloon before about the fact that I should probably do this 8 to midnight because it's a better schedule for a DJ and people are more receptive to dancing and doing all those things.
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8 to midnight because it's a better schedule for a DJ and people are more receptive to dancing and doing all those things eight to midnight and they've been open to that.
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But the rule has been set for me that seven to 11 is your time.
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If you have a dance floor and people are having a good time, you keep it going, you keep rocking and rolling and you're allowed to play later.
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Technically we can be open till 1.
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So if you want to play till 12, that's okay.
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That's been set to me.
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That's been told to me Now a month ago.
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If I rewind the clock and I go back a month, I think it was our disco night.
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At about 10 past 11, lisa, who I love, who is one of the head people for the saloon Bentley's girlfriend, she's the managing partner.
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She brings this group of ladies up to me and says these girls are on their bachelorette party from Texas and I think I might've actually made mention to this on a previous episode, but we partied it up.
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We tore it down until about quarter of or 20 of midnight and I always have Allie go and check with the staff to see how things are going and ask them if they want me to keep going and what the scenario is.
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In this particular instance, I was asked to play late, so I didn't feel too bad about it, but apparently it set some of the staff off and that resulted in an employee meeting the next day about the situation and a friend of mine nearly losing his job over this whole scenario.
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So it caused some controversy.
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I had a follow-up call with the saloon about it.
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We didn't do anything wrong, but the staff has a problem with being there late and when you're in the bar industry, I personally feel like that's something that you sign up for.
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So it is what it is and I have my heart and my intentions in the place of business and customer experience.
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I'm a small business owner.
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I consider myself a business owner for a long time.
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I also consider myself a great friend to Bentley and to Lisa at the saloon.
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So my priorities are customer experience, making sure they have a great time and making sure that as much money goes into the pockets of ownership as possible.
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That's just how it works.
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That's just how I'm wired.
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I want everybody to have a good time.
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To the people that say being there late doesn't make them any more money, what I say to you is people leaving happy leave happy tips.
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People being pushed out the door don't leave tips.
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It's just how things work.
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So that's life for you in the service industry.
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So last month it didn't go so well with the staff when it comes to me playing late, I guess there were some people that agreed with it, some that didn't agree with it.
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So here we are the last night, and part of me is like you know what, maybe just at 11 o'clock I just cut it and we're done.
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Then the staff can be happy and I can move on and everything's going to be good.
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And that's the way I looked at it.
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But as we got to like 1030, we had a great crowd.
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It was super receptive.
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As we start getting past 11 o'clock, I swear to you Kimbella's catalog, left hand on the catalog, eye to the sky, tooth from the sky.
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Here comes another bachelorette party from California and New Jersey.
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These girls are from California and New Jersey, first time at the saloon here for a bachelorette party.
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I'm not going to kick them out right away, I'm going to get after it.
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We're going to show them a good time.
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We go right into California girls.
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We go into California love.
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We go into jagged edge.
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Let's get married.
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We start hitting all these things.
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These girls are vibing.
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They're having a great time.
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They asked me to play a bunch of different tunes.
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We literally played like Carrie Underwood before he cheats.
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We did all these cool things.
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I've got them requesting songs.
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They're out there singing songs.
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It's incredible, man.
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We're just having a tremendous time and before you know it, we have gone past 11.30 and now the entire bachelorette party is literally on my stage jumping, jumping up and down, singing, dancing.
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We still have a few people on the dance floor.
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I'm going to say we're somewhere between 15 and 30 people at all times between the dance floor and my stage.
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Right on my stage, it's probably 15 girls that are in this bachelorette party that are dancing up and down on the stage, and then on the dance floor there's another 10 or 15 people or whatever.
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So, in my perspective, if I was making a business decision here, I would look at this and say these people, this is their first experience, they're having a great time.
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Everybody up there is having a great time.
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The DJ's made reference to the fact that he's supposed to be done by 11, but he's doing this in favor of you guys.
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I always take the road of hey, please tip your bartenders, tip your waitresses.
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They're allowing me to do this for you.
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We're making this exception for you.
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I'm playing late for you.
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Usually, when you set those parameters for people.
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They feel obligated to tip, they feel obligated to give back, to celebrate, to say thank you.
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Personally.
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If I'm running a bar at this situation anybody else that's working, that is, in an area that doesn't have people you're cleaning your area, you're closing out and you're going home.
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I'm starting to send people home and I'm going to get down to the bare bone, bare minimum that I need the outside of the bar.
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I'm going to start shutting it off and tell people if you want to go in on the dance floor, you've got another half hour.
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You got another 20 minutes.
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You got 15 minutes.
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Go inside, start shooing people out, start closing down those other sections.
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That's just what you do.
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That's the way to do it.
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So I became to get a little bit annoyed when I looked over and there was a manager standing outside in the shadows, appearing to have a drink, staring at me, giving me a mean mug, while I have an entire bachelorette party on my stage and they are karaokeing Country Roads, take Me Home.
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And right in front of me everybody's having a tremendous time.
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And then I look up and I see that there is a bunch of staff leaned against the bar with their arms crossed, looking at me, all pissed off, mean mugging me.
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The parameters have been set.
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If I want to play till 12, play till 12.
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We're going to be here till 1.
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Don't look at me and mean mug me.
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If what you want to do is get the hell out of here, then start taking steps to get out of here or come to me and say hey man, this is the scenario, but I've been told I'm allowed to do this based off of my judgment.
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This is my last night of the year and I am watching all this take place.
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I would have gone to the bar staff and said who has the inside section?
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Who needs to clean up?
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You start doing all these tables and then, when these guys are done, I just need two people to clean that area.
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They know that I take care of my stuff and I have people help me take care of my stuff.
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You can send everybody else home except for the head waitress that's in that area, the head server and your two bartenders behind the bar.
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Everybody else can go home.
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The one security guard.
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You can handle it.
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It's bare bones, bare minimum, not an issue.
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You don't need to mean mug me.
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You don't need to show you know patrons a bad time so I wasn't going to say anything.
00:17:06.941 --> 00:17:14.506
But I've been having this internal conversation and discussion with myself all year long, from the moment that I said yes to this schedule.
00:17:14.506 --> 00:17:21.298
I kind of regretted saying yes to this schedule because I have other responsibilities, I have other opportunities.
00:17:21.298 --> 00:17:32.548
If I'm here for X amount to DJ on one night, it's costing me three days somewhere else, for example as a tattoo convention.
00:17:32.548 --> 00:17:47.977
I could have done this weekend that could have paid me for three days, but I said no to it because of my loyalty and my love for what I'm doing and my love for what I've always done entertaining there that I have stayed true and loyal to being there and to playing there.
00:17:48.526 --> 00:17:52.517
For me, as a kid from Arundel growing up, this is my hometown.
00:17:52.517 --> 00:17:55.734
This place put me and my city on the map.
00:17:55.734 --> 00:18:11.001
And for me, growing up there and going there as soon as the place opened and being around for over 20 years, the stage inside at the saloon has become like the grand old Opry for a kid from Maine.
00:18:11.001 --> 00:18:13.894
You want to do anything you possibly can to be on that stage.
00:18:13.894 --> 00:18:19.116
I taught myself to DJ because I can't play instruments, so I get entertained on that stage.
00:18:19.116 --> 00:18:21.121
I have become a damn good MC so I get entertained on that stage.
00:18:21.121 --> 00:18:25.457
I have become a damn good MC so I get entertained at that venue.
00:18:25.457 --> 00:18:29.227
That was the biggest reason for me doing those things and learning those things.
00:18:29.227 --> 00:18:35.008
I truly feel like I'm one of the absolute best in the business when it comes to MCing an event.
00:18:35.008 --> 00:18:59.797
If you give me a pinup event, if you give me a motorcycle rodeo game, if you give me wet t-shirts, if you give me any of these different contests, I know that I can knock them out of the park, I can crush them and I've done all that and I've been allowed to do all that there and to grow there and to build my skillset there and it's been tremendous because I'll do anything for Bentley and for Lisa.
00:18:59.797 --> 00:19:07.212
I have such an amazing relationship with them that Bentley was actually the chauffeur for my wedding and it's one of the greatest feathers in my cap.
00:19:08.446 --> 00:19:12.656
I have a hard time walking away from the saloon because I just absolutely love it.
00:19:12.656 --> 00:19:22.799
But, as becoming a new dad, I feel a little guilty leaving my little baby girl at home and going out and doing these things.
00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:28.144
And it's one thing to be on the road at a fair or you know a festival making money.
00:19:28.144 --> 00:19:30.790
It's another thing to be at a biker saloon.
00:19:30.790 --> 00:19:37.287
You know DJing all night, when I have my mom up all night watching my little girl.
00:19:37.287 --> 00:19:39.230
So it's just different.
00:19:39.351 --> 00:19:48.558
And this year I kind of came into it thinking like this might be my last year and during the season a lot of frustration has built.
00:19:48.558 --> 00:19:53.156
I haven't really felt as comfortable as I always have.
00:19:53.156 --> 00:19:59.313
I haven't felt as welcomed or appreciated, and that's not from ownership, that's from some of the patrons.
00:19:59.313 --> 00:20:01.478
There's some people there that just talk crap about me.
00:20:01.478 --> 00:20:12.834
That's what happens when you have old crusties that you know they're regulars and seasonals at a bar and they don't want to see change and you're trying to bring in a new crowd or you're trying to do things different.
00:20:12.834 --> 00:20:13.635
It is what it is.
00:20:13.635 --> 00:20:25.843
But there's some people that have felt entitled and privileged and then have had the ability to say things about me, feeling like they'll go unchecked because of my respect that I have for the saloon.
00:20:25.843 --> 00:20:27.929
I just spent some things that have kind of pushed me around.
00:20:27.929 --> 00:20:38.086
I haven't felt as appreciated or respected and if I'm going to be sacrificing time for my family, then I don't need to be doing that and then feeling the way that I'm feeling.
00:20:38.086 --> 00:20:48.558
If I want to start prioritizing my business and putting my business first, then I don't really need to be doing what I'm doing.
00:20:48.558 --> 00:20:49.886
Right, if you're going to look at things.
00:20:50.667 --> 00:20:55.386
I've made the old adage that you don't want to step over a quarter to pick up a dime.
00:20:55.386 --> 00:21:05.057
And in the wintertime, when I'm making my schedule and I see these guaranteed nights and I can put them on my schedule and I can backfill them and work around them, that's great.
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