Transcript
Speaker 1: What is surrounding you? Is it what's best for you? Are you tired of hearing you can't? Well, i am here to tell you you can. Today, on Steadestruckle podcast, i have a positive message for you and a lesson courtesy of a goldfish just for you. Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.
Speaker 1: The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it. The choice is completely yours. Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life. If you find strength in the struggle and this podcast is for you You have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you. When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense. Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities. You are right where you need to be. What it do? What it do, hot dickety. Damn. Am I some excited to be back together with you.
Speaker 1: Episode 151 of the Loud Proud American podcast, perfectly properly precisely named share the struggle, man 151. Y'all believe that 151 run 151. That is Bacardi 151. Which that shit? number one, highly flammable number two You can clean steel with it pretty confident. You can do all kinds of dangerous shit with it, including throwing up and shitting your pants. Yes, bacardi 151, the fun has begun. Man, have you guys ever dabbled in the Bacardi 151? What the fuck were we thinking with that stuff?
Speaker 1: Anyways, i could think of the number one use for Bacardi 151 must be scorpion bowls. Am I right? You guys have probably partaked in the old party favor scorpion bowl, which is anything. Are we not to do that thing anymore? You know? I mean COVID maybe killed some of the straw sharing scenarios. I don't know, i'm still. I'm still game, y'all. If you want to do a share the struggle podcast, scorpion bowl, a big ass one, i'm down. Okay, but in the center of the scorpion bowl, that craziness, goodness, it's lit on fire very often and commonly known as Bacardi 151. Because that shit be potent y'all. The name of the game without scorpion bowl is to put your straw in there, suck up some of that 151 and then sprinkle that hallelujah, goodness, all the way around. So everybody gets a little bit okay, so they get a little frisky, but that's a real random alcoholic fact for you. I don't know where that came from. Oh, i do know, because this is episode 151 and I can't really seem to say 151 without thinking about Bacardi. To the fine people of Bacardi I am going to say that you missed a fantastic opportunity to sponsor the Loud, prod American podcast man share the struggle, episode 151.
Speaker 1: Bacardi, where you at, son, okay, where you at, we are available for sponsorship. Which, on that note, shout out to B&D flag polls home of the Titan telescoping flag pole, bud and dreamer, your proudly made in USA flagpole, because you don't want to spend another year with pole envy y'all. I see you. I see you be staring over here at my lawn looking at my pole, going, damn, i wish I had a pole like that, mm-hmm. I see you looking, quit, looking. Y'all, get one for yourself.
Speaker 1: B&d flagpolescom, that's bud and dreamer. Home with the Titan telescoping flag pole. Make sure you check them out. You can find a link to them and their store, their webpage rate, on www sharethestrugglepodcastcom under the sponsorship tab, which, if you want to sponsor the show, let me know. Maybe we could set you up y'all, maybe we could set you up. But you can find all things podcast, podcast related over there on the website share the strugglepodcastcom. Don't forget y'all, we did officially trademark the podcast. Share the struggle podcast is an official trademark and I did that because of all of you, each and every one of you, that continue to tune in week after week to help the share grow, to let me know you're loving it, you're having a good time. I appreciate all that feedback out there and I got some feedback last week because a lot of you applauded the fact that we kept the streak alive, because last week man did it look bleak. I am telling you right now, the struggle bus was absolutely real. You guys remember, if we kind of rewind things a little bit and go back to last week's episode, i kind of had this streak of unfortunate breakdowns. I guess you would say that's a really piss poor label that I just created there on the fly. But Friday I spent all day working on the ambulance because we had those issues.
Speaker 1: We go to Bentley's to DJ, the computer crashes during the set. We fire back up, get things moving and grooving. You feel like everything's going oh so fantastic. And then I come home to realize you cooked your MacBook, bro. Yeah, the Apple MacBook Air that I've had for a few years. Toast to Lido. Okay, smoke that precious little device and up at the Apple Store buy a new MacBook Air, get home only to find out that you can't find your music to DJ with, your software is not working correctly for the podcast and to this point I still can't hear y'all in my headset as I'm recording. Okay, i've tried multiple things where it will work momentarily and then it will disappear. So that's a little fun fact for you.
Speaker 1: But we thought we got all those beautiful mistakes out the way, all those hiccups gone by the wayside until this past weekend, memorial weekend, rolling into Bentley's to loom to set up for our first official major event of the season. We've done some one-day events for loud proud American, but we were just rolling in for our first big event setting up on Thursday. So we would set up Thursday and be open on Friday, saturday, sunday, monday. So getting ourselves a nice four-day weekend of business, which Memorial weekend happened to be one of our more successful weekends last year. So getting excited to get back in the swing of things, to see all you freaks and geeks out there, so really excited for that.
Speaker 1: Let's just say that me and me mama are rolling into Bentley Saloon on Thursday to set up and as I'm making my descent on the saloon I hear pretty high-pitched squeaking noise coming from the old ambulance, aka the loud, proud American Express, that 1994 ambulance that we used to travel all around town with. Well, i hear some, some repetitive squealing and squeaking, squealing like a pig. Okay, we roll into the saloon and I'm saying this doesn't sound good. As I back up, i shut the old whammy off and then I hear clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, which is a romantic sound that you really really want to hear, especially reading the front parking lot of a saloon. People everywhere. So I pop the hood and notice that the serpentine belt is right, the fuck off.
Speaker 1: So at this point I send a message over to my brother from another mother, chris Woodcock. You guys have heard me praise him many times before. He actually runs a Northeast Adventure Club which traveled to Moab. If you guys remember, last year maybe or two years ago, we thought we kind of talked about him heading out to Moab. I made some merchandise for him. He also works at a super awesome garage here locally, rundle Motor Sales, where, if you heard a story a few weeks ago, i was able to retrieve to aka steelback a lost pedal bike for this garage for Steve over there. So I reached out to Chris telling them what's going on and my man showed up with a tow truck, gave things a look over, came back with with Nick, who's the mechanic that's done most of the work I would say maybe all the work to the ambulance and they came over, checked it out, had a couple of beers ordered parts from Napa. Before you know what, they're putting new pulley on and getting me squared away in the parking lot. So I must get this out the way today.
Speaker 1: This week's winning Wednesday weekly shout out whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because my man, chris Woodcock, and Nick over to a Rundle Motor Sales for coming over, hooking me up on the spot and allowing me to pull off my first major event of the season. But out them hooking me up, it would have been extremely difficult to make things happen. That's our entire stock truck, fully loaded of goodness, multiple, you know, trips back and forth. All those good things would have been taken from us. So, fellas, i can't thank you enough for coming over and saving my ass, but I thought it was a little fun fact, a sprinkle on today's show, because last week we were talking about all the fucking things that got in our way and the fact that if you want something bad enough, you will find a way.
Speaker 1: We were hoping that some of those negative things might have gone by the wayside. I mean, we wouldn't see them anymore. But here is another. Just hiccup in the road, bump in the road right. Here's another issue. But I can't help but look at the positive. If you guys, you know, if you listened last week, i should say if you haven't, maybe I'm kind of speaking on a turn here and you should go back and listen to last week show to get a full perspective of what I'm talking about here.
Speaker 1: But I had that moment where I was in the drive through lane for Dunkin Donuts and the plate in front of me was 4, 4, 4, 4 and then when I got my change from Dunkin Donuts it was 4, 44 and the barista was telling me those are angel numbers. That's got to be a sign of good luck, that's got to be a good sign for you. And as you stop and think about it you might say where's the good luck, where's the good sign? when I just blew up a $1,500 computer, when I'm having these, these vehicle troubles and things, i can't help but think that that is good luck, that that is a good sign, because, as I mentioned last week, had that MacBook just completely toasted itself during the middle of a wedding ceremony.
Speaker 1: What would I have done Because I spent that Saturday DJing a wedding, i was the lifeline to the party time Had my computer totally fried, that would have been meltdown city And I don't know. I don't know how I could have processed that and dealt with that. That's. That's a major responsibility and a complete fuckup if that had happened. So I am blessed and thankful. I will gladly pay the $1,500 for a new computer to not jeopardize someone's special day. So I got to count some blessings on that one. Right now. To this point, i still don't have all my DJ music and I don't know what that's going to take and all that's going to entail. But I'm still thankful that when my computer said its last goodbye it was home. Okay, it had its last breath at home. That's. That's a fortunate thing.
Speaker 1: Now, as much as I don't want to pull into the saloon and blow a fucking belt off of the old ambulance, the Loud, prod American Express it's a hell of a lot better than doing it a week prior when I was all the way out in New Hampshire driving home. That's a big difference to lose that belt so far from home to have to, you know, get towed so many miles home a couple hours away, things like that. I think about the upcoming trips I have. Have that happened on the road, missing an event, maybe not making it to an event, because I'm getting towed home? all those things, man, all that stuff runs through your mind and you say, man, how lucky am I that this decided to happen so close to home. How fortunate am I that this belt slipped, this polly went right here at the saloon, so close to home, so close to my support systems.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we look at things and we react to things on the negative. What was me? I can't believe this happened to me. Another thing first I lost my computer. Now I possibly lost my vehicle. What's going on? Instead, you look at the positives and say I was able to pull off that special day for that bride and groom. I was able to finish off and have a great party for everybody in attendance at the saloon. When I did that disco party, i was able to have this mechanical issue happen so close to home with my vehicle that I was able to get it resolved. Those things, man, they're fortunate things, they're positive things. We have to take time to reflect on those things and be thankful for the way that they went, because they could have gone so much worse.
Speaker 1: We always have a tendency to look at somebody else's lawn and say the grass is greener on that lawn. We never look at the other side of the lawn or maybe asshole homeowner over there is pumping so much fertilizer into the ground to make his grass look green that he's contaminated with his water system and his kids growing a third eye. I don't know, bro, i don't know Quick criticize in me, but I've said it once, i've said it twice, i've said it many, many times before The grass isn't always greener and things wouldn't always go the way you thought they would go. If you think that there's always a better outcome out there, that it could have always gone better for you, you're wrong, because sometimes it went just the right way for you. The shoe doesn't always fit When you kiss the frog. It's not always a prince. Things don't always go the way you want them to go, but it's okay because they went the way they were supposed to go for you. I'm blessed, i'm thankful Those signs 444 that was meant for me. It kept me from a greater difficulty.
Speaker 1: Gotcha, low Proud American is a lifestyle brand dedicated and determined to represent the American spirit, with an unrelenting commitment to provide made in the USA products. If you would like to join, please subscribe to our channel, the USA products. If you would like to join the 2% of Americans that buy American and support American, head on over to wwwlowproudamericanshop. Together we can bring back American manufacturing. All right, all right, all right.
Speaker 1: Before we get into today's meat and potatoes of the show, to put a nice beautiful little bow on the opening of today's show and a recap of last week's show, i can't help but think of some recent email correspondences I've had with a good friend, amanda. An extremely loyal listener and great friend, amanda has been bouncing some things back and forth with me via email. She's actually quite a few episodes behind right now getting caught up, and on one of our episodes that we were discussing, i mentioned watching Major Pain because it's one of the movies I think one of the first movies that the wife and I actually watched in the camper. When we're off at some of these events at night, we'll find some old school movies to throw in, and she reminded me of the most amazing line for Major Pain and I feel like it really sums up the opener of today's show, these recent mishaps and last week's show, and that is a very beautiful quote from the man himself, major Pain. If what you're looking forward to sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. Amanda, thank you so much for reminding me of that line And that is so damn great that I'm going to use that as much as I possibly can for the rest of this year. Okay, so if you're looking for sympathy for me, you'll find in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 1: Now there's another line that I'm going to mention a bunch today. You might get tired of hearing it from me today, but it's because it means that much to me. It's resonated with me, it's sat with me ever since I heard it And it's been in my phone for a few weeks now. So I'm trying to trace the tracks of where this came from, and I'm pretty sure it came from the most recent David Goggins book, never Finished, because I really enjoyed that book. You guys heard me recommend it a few times And I want to say this line came from David And I put it in my notes section And it's something that I've just been thinking about constantly since then, and it's that we often set life limitations based on our surroundings. So I'm going to repeat that several times today to really drive home the fact that we set limitations based on our surroundings, and I want you to start really thinking about the shit that surrounds you, who is around you, what are those things, both both physically, spiritually, mentally What is it that it surrounds you And is it holding you back? That's where we're headed today on Share the Struggle podcast.
Speaker 1: Now, this message and this lesson really goes all the way back to episode 149 a couple weeks ago, when we recorded Make a Life, not a Living, i touched on the fact that we were crossing over 60 minutes And I really wanted everybody to process that episode and give this subject a little time to breathe and give us the ample opportunity to put this out there with the right time and the right ability to digest the message. So here we are. This really connects to making a life, not a living, because part of making a life is looking at your surroundings, and when I talk about surroundings, we can really look at how you are raised, what you were brought up in, what you are raised in. But I want to start off by talking about the people that are around you, those surroundings, the people who surround you, whether it is your mother, your father, your spouse, significant other, brother, sister, friends, whatever that is. Wherever you are in life right now, whatever age and milestone you are at right now, what surrounds you? who surrounds you? I'm talking to all of you.
Speaker 1: You could be 15, living at home or 55, in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship. It does not matter the situation. We live in a world full of knows. When the ones closest to you pump you full of knows, what do you do? I'm asking you, when the people around you keep telling you know, what do you do? Because the people that are around you, that surround you, that aren't living their dreams, fulfilling their dreams, they're not doing the things they've always wanted to do, they begin to project things on to you. They begin to put their lives on to you, their way of thinking, their failures and fuck ups on to you. So, in this world that's so full of knows, when you go home, when you look for support from the ones who surround you and they pump you full of know, what do you do? The closest ones to you aren't building you up. They're not praising you up, they're pulling you down. They're keeping you down. What the fuck do you do? We set limitations based on our surroundings. When our surroundings are negative, we are setting negative limitations on our life. We are preventing ourselves from achieving our hopes and dreams, our innermost beliefs, what we see for ourselves, what we want for ourselves, we are not achieving for ourselves because we are surrounded by negative.
Speaker 1: Please understand that negative people. They project their negative energy on you. Negative projects negative. It is chemically impossible for a negative person to project positivity on you. They might shine a little light of positivity, but they don't believe it because they don't achieve it. So the more time you spend, before long you will realize, you will notice they ain't positive at all. In fact, they are negative. They are projecting negativity on you.
Speaker 1: And you want to know why? Do you want to know why people that are negative stay negative and why they continue to tell you no, well, it's because they are afraid to try. Negative people are afraid to try. Maybe they tried before and they failed. Maybe they tried before and they failed and it hurt and they had the hardest time overcoming that hurt. Whatever that is, whatever it is they tried for, maybe it was a new job, maybe it was a new girlfriend. Whatever it was, it didn't work out and it hurt, as opposed to understanding the situation, having that moment of self-reflection where you realize what's my reason for this, where is my effort in this, because things don't just happen without you participating in them. Right, so you have some weight in this.
Speaker 1: So the average person, a positive person, might process a negative situation or just a failed opportunity as what could I have done different? How could I have changed this? What could I have done here? How could I have tried harder? What could I have done better?
Speaker 1: Negative people don't do that. They go into the woe is me attitude. But the person that is living life negative, that is not able to really praise you, empower you, build you up, shine on you. They are not doing those things because they dislike you. They are doing these things because they are afraid. They are afraid to chase their dreams, they are afraid to try, they are afraid to be positive because, for whatever reason, they felt like life slapped them with a negative. Either they've tried multiple times in their own mind They feel like they've tried hundreds and hundreds of times and they failed hundreds and hundreds of times, and each time it hurts and it hurts more and more and more. So why try? Why try anymore? Because this world has it out against me, these people on this planet have it out against me, the cosmos have it out for me, the higher power has it out for me. I'm destined to be me. They begin to create this mind frame where it's okay to be negative, this woe is me thing is healthy, and they actually eventually get satisfaction from being negative. But what I want you to understand is those negative people. They're not in turn projecting negativity on you because they hate you and they don't want to see you succeed. It's in fact because they themselves are afraid. They are afraid to try because they've tried and it hasn't worked, and their failure is now forcing them to protect you from failing. You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: When I started to think about this way, which is kind of a new way of thinking for me, i shed some light on quite a few people that either surround me or used to surround me, and it gives me a greater understanding for some of those people. And as I'm thinking about the episode on 149, make a Life, not a Living, a big part of making a life for yourself is removing yourself from some of these people. But one of the greatest ways in doing so is this new way of thinking for me, and that is understanding that these people don't have it out for me, because I feel like it can be really difficult sometimes to separate yourself from somebody and it can be really difficult to understand. Why are they so negative towards me? What do they have against me? So let's reframe our own brains and how we process somebody being so negative that's so close to you. And when I'm talking about close to you, this goes beyond the friends you need to cut out. This goes to really thinking about your parents. That might keep you down, that might push you down.
Speaker 1: This really starts to talk about brothers and sisters and spouses. Maybe you're in a relationship now where you've both grown up and you've changed, and maybe you've grown apart and you're having this difficult discussion with yourself. There's a lot of people out there that I talk to very often that are struggling with that family dynamic. We all have difficult family dynamic, right. Somehow, some way, there's somebody in the family that you struggle with.
Speaker 1: For me, i have full-man brothers and sisters that have disowned me, and for me, i can understand that there's a jealousy towards me that comes back to them being afraid to try for themselves, that maybe they try to live a life of their dreams and they failed And now they're in this position where they can't root for me because they don't want to see me succeed. There's a level of jealousy there. So maybe this level of protection there that they've had, where they've seen themselves fail so many times or they feel like they have, that they don't want to see me fail We're at a point now in our relationship where they definitely want to see me fail. So maybe they're not the best example, but for those of you out there that maybe have a parent or both parents, that you feel they always project negative onto you and you can't help but ask yourself why are they so negative towards me? Why do they not want to see me succeed? What do they hold against me? Maybe they don't hold anything against you.
Speaker 1: Maybe the reason why you feel like they don't want you to succeed, the reason why they project so much negativity, is because they, in fact, are afraid to try. They are afraid to fulfill their own dreams because, for whatever effort they thought they put in which is probably a piss-poor effort. They didn't get the result they wanted and that hurt. So they, in turn, don't want you to experience that hurt. So, for those of you listening that have a parent, a spouse or somebody that you're trying to really get a better understanding as to why they're so negative towards you, for a moment maybe just reframe your brain and think about the fact that maybe they're trying to protect you.
Speaker 1: Maybe, if it's a parent that you've had that difficult relationship with, maybe they're trying to protect you because they feel like they've failed and it hurts and they don't want to see you hurt. So it's okay to not shoot for your dreams. It's okay to not chase the life you've always had, because they never had it. It's okay for you to not try. It's okay for you to not show up, because they don't always try and they don't always show up, but they're living, they're coexisting and they feel like they're okay with it. So it's okay for you to not try. It's okay for you to not show up. It's okay for you to wake up and give in to difficult days, because they do it just about every damn day. It's okay.
Speaker 1: There is a safety net, there's a safety blanket in negativity, in failure and they just want to cast that net and warm you up in that blanket of negativity. You understand what I'm saying. This is not me telling you to stay with them. This is not me telling you to give them an excuse that you can change them into being positive, because you can't.
Speaker 1: When someone's negative, you can't make them positive, you can't make themselves positive. And it's a great deal of inner searching and difficulty and struggle to take that negative and turn it positive. And it is hard enough for you to do it to yourself that it's impossible for you to do it for someone else. I've lived that in my life and I don't recommend anybody else trying to do it, because it always ends the same way. You can't care so much for someone else to make them care more for themselves. It's impossible, you just can't do it.
Speaker 1: So for those of you that are out there and you have that difficult time with that relationship, whether it's your parents, whether it's a spouse, whatever it is, and you're at that point and you know it, you damn well know it. Maybe one more layer of understanding for you is maybe in some weird way they feel like they're protecting you by projecting these things onto you. So understand that. Maybe that gives you some salvation, that hey, you know what. Mom and dad don't hate me. They just can't see it for me because this is the way they live. So when we start thinking about surroundings, that we set limitations based on our surroundings, think about mom and dad or your spouse and their surroundings and their limitations. Do you want that for you? Are you comfortable with that? Is that the highest level for you? Because if it's not, i beg of you to move on. They will hold you down, they will keep you down. Their surroundings is their limitation and it will be yours, unless you see more for you and you remove yourself from them and their surroundings. Here's another truth statement for you people We live by the narrative of other people. It is so damn true. We live by the narrative of other people.
Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like you have a tendency to meet people that are in the exact same situation that you're in in life? You ever felt that way Where you're like man, i met this person and they just seem to be in the exact same position as me. They seem to be dealing with the exact same struggle as me. Like right at the same time. Right, you meet people in the same place and having the same struggle For a reason, and those people they become your friends. Right, and you have safety in that and satisfaction in that and there's a common ground in that, there's a unity in that. But the second that you try to get out of that, the second that you try to get out of that situation, the moment that you try to better yourself and they do not, the moment that that common situation, that common point in life that you're both at that you're both struggling with, the very exact moment that you try to better that situation, to grow from that situation, to grow out of that situation, they try to pull you back and they try to say to you bitch, who the fuck are you? Who do you think you are? Are you better than me? All of a sudden, you're better than me. Remember when we met, we had all this in common. This is who we are. This is what we do Here. You are trying to better yourself. You think you're better than me.
Speaker 1: Think about this Have you met friends in life that they were at that same place in life with you and you had that common ground, that common unity, and eventually you tried to better yourself and you felt them pulling you back At this point in time, this place in life. Have you furthered yourself from them? Have you made strides in the right direction for you? If you have, i want to ask you think about that friend. Are they still your friend? Do you still spend that much time with them? Are they still struggling with that same difficulty?
Speaker 1: Now, this can be totally different if two people get together and you use each other to push each other, to motivate each other. That's true friendship. That's true love, man. That's a true connection when you can grind together and pull each other through. But far too often we meet people that, the moment that common ground is established and I try to better myself and they don't, there's resentment, right, and they're afraid to try as well. So they project that failure and that feeling of being afraid on you, saying hey, man, you can't go anywhere. So you have two choices You stay with that friend, you never achieve that dream. You stay with that friend and you never grow. You just share common stories about the common failure. Instead, you could leave that person and Use that as inspiration, as motivation, and better yourself. If they come along for the ride, then so be it. But if they can't see it, then you can't take them with you because, remember, we set Limitations based on our surroundings. If that's struggle that you have, that common struggle you now share with a friend and they don't want to Better themselves of that struggle, you will be stuck with that layer of struggle as long as you two are friends.
Speaker 1: So I'm asking you, had you had friends? just let's start. We're thinking about our surroundings. People were thinking about these things. Where you're at in life, can you look back on a friend and say, hey, when we met, we both had this difficulty. But here we are now. How many times have you started a new job with somebody in the same place, in the same time, right, like Legitimately? hey, we're both starting on day one and then we often have these same struggles. Yeah, i've been out of work for this long. Or this is my first job or this is my new job. I got to pay for this, i got to pay for that. Are you still with that company? Have you moved on? are they still low man on the totem pole? Are they still the you know, the new girl in the room? What's the scenario? Have you advanced? and they haven't?
Speaker 1: Ask yourself about those times where you've met someone and they advanced and you didn't think about those things, and Really start to frame in your mind how your surroundings set limitations. When I think about friends and family, co-workers, colleagues, whoever it is in your life holding you back, pulling you down. When I think about you know that that friend that you met at that common point in life And you shared something, and then, the moment you tried to better yourself, they said no, man, what do you do when trying to distance yourself from me? Let me bring you back when I think about your parents or a significant other or a sister or a brother That's holding you back Because they're not living the life of their dreams, because they're not doing the things they've always wanted to do.
Speaker 1: When I think about that person holding you back, i think about crabs. Now, i know at this point in time You might make the assumption that I'm going to bring up an STD, some kind of sexual joke, some slanderous comments About a beach town close to me. I can understand that you're going to make That thought process in your mind. You're going to assume, but, on the words of Steven Segel, you're gonna make an ass out of you and me if you soon Wait, or do? Steven Segel say assumptions are the mother of all fuckups? I don't, it was one of those. But the point is it's not fair for you to assume. Okay, that's profiling America, don't be profiling me. I'm being honest here.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about crabs because I think about a crab fisherman when I think about those closest to you, preventing you from getting out, preventing you from believing and achieving, preventing you from living your dreams. Because if you've ever seen somebody out crab fishing, you'll notice they carry these buckets. What you'll also notice is the fact that they don't need lids for their buckets. So that's a surprising thing about crab fisherman is you can just bring your buckets without any lids. You want to know why you don't need a lid for your bucket, because if you start throwing crabs in a bucket, the moment one of them starts to escape, the others will pull that crab back in. These crabs will not let a fellow crab get away. The moment that a crab begins to get away, the rest of the crabs will pull it back down. Think about our line for the day. We often set limitations based on our surroundings. That crab That's maybe on the top of that pile, that can see daylight, that's making a break, that's just reaching his little crab claws over the top of the bucket to escape from Surefire death, and stew The fellow crabs his surroundings, pull that crab back down to them. Think about that analogy, people.
Speaker 1: If you don't believe me, google it. Okay, wikipedia it well. Oh, you call me out when you're judging me. You judging me, judy. Well, guess what? I Wikipedia it for you. Is that a thing? Wikipedia Did it? because can I say that wicka, wicka, pd it. Net it wicka pd. I don't, i got nothing. I Looked up crabs, america, which can be very incriminating thing to do on your phone, so maybe I don't recommend it. Maybe you should just take my advice. Maybe you should just let me do the research. Okay, so you don't have to explain your significant other while you're looking up crabs on your phone. Now, if you go on Google and you just look up crabs in a bucket, you might see Wikipedia. And if you click on Wikipedia, you're gonna find something they call crab mentality, also known as crab theory, crabs in a bucket mentality or the crab bucket effect. You can best describe any of these theories or any of these bucket buckets with a quote. If I can't have it, neither can you.
Speaker 1: The metaphor is derived from an anecdotal claims about the behavior of crabs When they are trapped in a bucket. Well, any one crab can easily start to climb out. It will nonetheless be pulled back in by the others, ensuring the group's collective demise. The analogous theory in human behavior is that members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member Who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, jealousy, resentment, spite, conspiracy or competitive feelings to halt their progress.
Speaker 1: Crabs in a bucket if I can't have it, neither can you think about that. Do you have people in your life holding you back, pulling you down? Are there people close to you that reduce yourself confidence? Are they envious of you? Are they jealous of you? Are they showing resentment? Is there maybe some conspiracy or competitive feelings that are there to halt your progress? If you close your eyes and you think about that bucket of crabs And you think about that one crab Starting to get away and you see the rest of the crabs pulling them down, no, you can't have freedom. You can't have life if I can't have it either. So they pull that crab down. Who around you is in your bucket, holding you back, pulling you down. I hope this creates an image for you. I hope this creates a vision for you that will inspire you to get the fuck out of the bucket now.
Speaker 1: When you work hard enough to finally get out, when you work hard enough to get out of that bucket to finally get away, it is unfair to you To deal that difficulty to your future. When you work hard enough to get away, it is unfair To deal that back to your future. Why jump back in that bucket? And I say it this way for a reason because I hear from so many of you that you got yourself out of that situation, that you defied the odds and you get out of that bucket. You freed yourself from your surroundings and you made better of yourself. You made a life for yourself. You started to believe and achieve. Before you know it, you felt bad about the other crabs you left behind. Before you knew it, you felt bad about your family and friends That you had to leave behind. So you went back. And when you went back, you also moved back. You moved back Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm not saying you moved back home, but I'm saying your life and your success often moves back to where it was, you fall back to the beginning. You fall back to That climb and you start that journey all over.
Speaker 1: When you work so hard to get out, when you work so hard to get away, it's unfair to you to deal that difficulty to your future. And I say future with an emphasis, because some people, when they welcome children into this world, they feel obligated to bring those children and associate them with their past. They feel obligated to include their past with their future. When you're making that decision, realize the difficulty you're placing on them, realize the risk involved with your decision-making. Now I am not telling anyone how to parent. I am not Lecturing anyone on how to raise your kids. All I am doing is cautioning you on the risk, making you aware of the risk and Saying to you it's okay, it's okay if you decide to protect your little one, it's okay for you to protect your future by not connecting it to your past, not Projecting your past, not giving them those surroundings, not allowing those Surroundings to limit their future. This is not me lecturing anyone. It's bringing caution to the risk and giving you an understanding that it's okay, that it is okay for you to protect your future your future being you from going back to that situation, your future being you, from putting your child back in that situation. It's okay. You don't have to do things that you feel like you're obligated to do. You do the things that you want to do, that are necessary To do, because you choose to do those, because you deem those things to be necessary.
Speaker 1: My wife and I have had conversations. There is people that is supposed so-called family to us that if we had children they would not be involved in the future of those children because They don't deserve it and they haven't earned it, and I hope that some of you out there see and feel the same way. I know there's people close to us in our life that we love and care about. That I'm sure battles with the decision of Involving certain people in their child's life whether they do or don't, is completely up to them. Whether they do or doubt is completely acceptable and understandable and if they're listening, i want them to know It is completely Acceptable and understandable and you don't need to explain yourself or justify yourself to anyone. It's because you see fit, because you work so hard to get out. You don't want to put them in that situation. I'm not telling anyone to not involve someone in their child's life or in their own life. I'm just cautioning you to understand how difficult was it for you to better your life. How difficult was it for you to remove yourself from those surroundings. Don't place that on your future.
Speaker 1: A few moments ago, i said that we often do things that we feel obligated to do. Over the weekend, while set up at Bentley Saloon for Loud Proud American, pushing out that beautiful maiden USA merchandise, i was able to connect with a couple of friends that shared some new life advice, a new life philosophy with me, and at this moment I'd love to shout them out and praise them for this philosophy, but I want to protect them from sharing their philosophy. So if you are mutual friends with them and they decide to not spend time with you, i don't want you coming back to me putting me in the middle of this philosophy and discussion, but I'm so intrigued by their philosophy and so proud of them for making their decision, and their new philosophy revolves around the fact that they will never do something that they feel obligated to do. They're not going to continue to make those decisions that you just feel like you have to make, and the premise behind this is this. I'm never going to have another dinner with somebody that I don't want to have dinner with. You understand what I'm saying. You understand their way of thinking. They're not going to do something just because they feel like they have to. They're not going to go out to dinner with certain friends because it's what they feel like they have to do. They feel obligated to do it.
Speaker 1: You were invited to dinner. You were invited to the barbecue. You don't really want to go what you do it anyways. That type of scenario How many of you have had that? I know I have. I've put my hand on the Cabela's catalog and eye on the sky. I've given the truth from this guy. I've been invited to a lot of shit that I didn't want to go to. And sometimes you just grin and bear it and you go and do that shit and you put up with it. And a lot of times you're going to walk out of there saying, well, i told you so. I knew I shouldn't have done this. I knew I shouldn't have gone. And a lot of times there's people in your life that you're friends with them and you're not looking to end the relationship with them. But life is precious. Time is limited. It's not guaranteed. There's no guarantee on you and me. If I'm going to spend time with you, it's because I want to You understand Their whole philosophy of all the wasted time we have.
Speaker 1: Having dinner and drinks and barbecues and meetups with people that we really don't care to is robbing us from the time we have for the people that we want to spend it with. I guarantee all of you listening have kept an obligation because you felt like you had to. You could take that time back and spend it with someone you care about. I think that's an investment worth making. I love this philosophy. I just feel like it gives you a whole new sense of freedom to say no to these things that we just feel obligated to, and I'd like to think that I've, maybe subconsciously, done some of that. Maybe COVID has been an eye-opener to that, to people where you can kind of put a priority on things. Hopefully that's something that we all got from that whole experience. But I encourage you to enact some of their philosophy.
Speaker 1: Maybe the next time that you get invited or something you just don't really want to go to which you feel obligated to do it. Maybe there's a reason and you just don't go. You're not obligated. Do things that you feel that you want to do, that you're excited to do. Your time isn't guaranteed. This life is precious. Spend it with the people you want to spend it with. Be aware of those surroundings, because they're placing limitations on you.
Speaker 1: Now, as we really start to think about our surroundings, our upbringings, how we are raised, where we're from, who's around us, who surrounds us, who influences us. If we start thinking about the negative people around us that are projecting negativity, as we've been talking about, we're thinking about this world full of no's, and when you surround yourself with people who truly care about you or you care about, and they continue to tell you no and they weigh you down, you start creating this negative self-image and you start viewing all these surroundings and you start to really ask yourself is there better for me because this is all that's around me If all I'm experiencing, all I'm seeing, all I'm feeling is one level and I want to achieve a whole new level, is it possible? Is it possible for me to believe and achieve? And I'll tell you this it is extremely difficult for you to rise above, to rise yourself above those surroundings. It is difficult because if we can't see it, we often don't believe it. And if we don't believe it, we won't achieve it. If all you see around you is one level, if all you see around you is one mentality, a negative one, if all you see is everyone coexisting at a certain level that is below your expectations, that is below you and your beliefs, and what you want, if all you can see for you is that you won't get above, that, you understand. If we can't see it, we often don't believe it. If we don't believe it, we won't achieve it. If all we see is mediocrity, it's hard to get the best for you and me. We set limitations based on our surroundings. You need to change your surroundings. We grow into our environment. All the things that are around us, all the things that surround us. We grow into that environment. How we are raised, how we are nurtured, how we are treated it all plays a factor into who we become.
Speaker 1: When I think about the saying that we grow into our environment, i think about goldfish. I know this is a fishy kind of day. We've already talked about crabs. Now we're going to talk about goldfish because for as long as I can remember, i've been told that a goldfish will grow into its environment. Smaller the tank, smaller the fish. Bigger the tank, bigger the fish. I've always been told a goldfish it will grow into its environment. If you put that sucker out in a pond, it's going to have a big ass fish. You put it in a little ass bowl, you're going to have a little ass fish. That got me to thinking. What is a possible connection? Are there any similarities between us as humans and goldfish?
Speaker 1: I did a little bit of goldfish research for you people and I found some life lessons courtesy of the goldfish. First off, we must crush some goldfish myths in order for us to understand the hidden lesson. So I did some research. I found some goldfish myths. Myth number one goldfish can be kept in bowls. That's a myth. People have long kept goldfish in small, like containers.
Speaker 1: Goldfish are hardy fish capable of surviving in a range of conditions. A bowl lacks proper filtration, water volume for the dilution of waste, space to grow and a home for ammonia and nitrate converting bacteria for bio filtration. Large aquariums are definite requirement for the long term care and survival. Goldfish can grow quite large depending on the breed. Common goldfish are capable of reaching over 18 inches and 10 pounds. Even the smallest breeds can reach between 4 and 7 inches, making them more suitable for a 20 gallon or larger aquarium rather than a bowl. Due to the goldfish's large size, proper filtration and water changes are a must. For larger goldfish, an outdoor pond is really the best option, or an aquarium in the range of 55 gallons. Our whole life we've been told goldfish can live in a bowl. They will live just fine in a bowl, but in fact think about these fish and that they can actually grow to be 18 inches and 10 pounds. I've definitely caught bass a lot smaller than that said goldfish image that's now been created in my mind. Even the smallest breeds of goldfish can be between 4 and 7 inches, and here we are stuffing them in a bowl.
Speaker 1: We often set life limitations based on our surroundings. We are setting a real life limitation on that goldfish when he's living in a bowl. Tip number 2, goldfish can only grow to the size of their enclosure. There is an element of truth to this and is related more to water quality than tank size. When proper cared for, goldfish will not stop growing. This means, unlike humans, they will grow until they die. What really stunts a fish's growth is poor water quality and improper care, little or no filtration and infrequent water changes. The stunting that results is not good. Rather, it is a sign of ill health and frequently stunted fish take on a deformed appearance and die at a young age.
Speaker 1: When properly cared for, goldfish will not stop growing. They grow until they die. Think about that when we start relating ourselves to goldfish, when we're thinking about the correlation between you and me and a goldfish. When properly cared for, the goldfish will not stop growing. Now I get it. As humans, we're not going to continue to grow. My waistline has been, unfortunately, continuing to grow, but mentally mentally as humans we should never stop growing.
Speaker 1: When properly cared for, we will never stop growing. Our mental capacity will never stop When we are properly taking care of ourselves, when we are putting positive in and getting positive out. We will always grow When we are being conscious of our surroundings. When there's limitations based on our surroundings and the people around us are suffocating us, they're not nurturing us, they're not showing and striving for greater and better for us, we will not continue to grow. Much like the goldfish, when that goldfish is stuffed in a small tank, in that small surrounding with poor water, it's the same as us When we're stuck with those people and those surroundings that don't nurture us, that don't give us the proper things that we need, the proper reinforcement. It will stunt our mental growing abilities. It will stunt our ability to live the life that we want to live. When we think about the goldfish, what really stunts a fish's growth is poor water quality and improper care. I can tell you that improper care, both self-care and from your surroundings, will stunt your growth too. Think about it. It talks about the poor health, the deformities, the stunned growth, the short lifespan of the goldfish, based off its surroundings And its nourishment. It's not too hard to draw a parallel people. It's not too hard to understand. The same can be said about you and me.
Speaker 1: Myth number three goldfish have a three second memory. It has long been said that a goldfish can be kept in a bowl because their three second memory never allows them to get bored or tired of seeing the same thing. By the time they swim around the bowl, they have already forgotten where they started. The myth likely came about purely as justification for keeping them in bowls in the first place, because anyone who keeps fish knows that it simply isn't true. Goldfish are capable of remembering things for very long periods of time at least three months. Goldfish also have a sense of time and will learn a routine. The excited behavior some individuals exhibit in the morning, before we even get the food canister out, is evidence of this. Goldfish are also quite trainable. They can learn to swim through hoops, ring bells and pulled levers for food And a lever experiment involving goldfish. They were even able to realize within an hour that if their lever stopped producing, it wasn't worth pulling anymore. So we've been told our whole lives that goldfish have a three second memory. So you can put them in this tiny ass bowl because they're going to forget about it by the time they do a lap around. This myth was created so we could have them in this tiny ass bowl.
Speaker 1: Think about how many myths in your life were created to keep you right where you are. How many lies were fed to you to keep you from trying. How many things were told to you, how many failures were expressed to you to prevent you from trying to be the best you, because if you left, if you moved on, if you did bigger, if you did better, it would diminish them. Think about those myths placed on you. And if we want to talk about intention spans and we start thinking about goldfish and the fact that they can remember things for three months instead of three seconds. I would like to actually point out that records show the attention span of the human race has decreased from 12 seconds to 8 seconds in the past two decades. Without the fish, america, your attention span is down to 8 seconds. Within 8 seconds, we lose the ability or the fucking care to actually want to focus and pay attention. After 8 freaking seconds Not you lap around Americans, because we're over 55 minutes strong and you all be paying attention and listening along.
Speaker 1: The next myth and last myth I'm going to tackle today is goldfish are short lived. Goldfish are actually some of the longest lived fishes you can purchase. They are capable of living several decades under the right conditions, and the supposed record is 49 years of age. The reason why so many die at a young age is due more to the conditions in which they are kept than the actual longevity of the fish. We set life limitations based on our surroundings. The conditions in which these goldfish are living is the reason why you're flushing them down the toilet so damn often. How many times have you had a goldfish that died in two days or two months, two weeks, whatever the hell it happens to be. Can you imagine keeping a goldfish for 49 fucking years? The reason why so many die is due more to the conditions in which they are kept. As humans, we are dying. We are not living based off of the conditions, the surroundings that we keep.
Speaker 1: You understand why I continue to repeat and pound this phrase into your heads today, we often set life limitations based on our surroundings. If we can't see it, we can't believe it, and if we can't believe it, we won't achieve it. So I ask you, what do we do? How do we defy the odds? Well, i ask you, if not you, then who? Because someone in your family, someone in your tree, someone in your bucket, someone needs to be the first one. You need to be the example. You need to be the one, because if you are the one that sets new limits, if you are the one that sets new surroundings, that breaks glass ceilings, then you can be the one that carries on the rest of them. You don't need to carry them with you, you don't need to go back and take them with you, but you can set a new example, you can rise above, you can be the one. If not you, then who Be the one? be the first one in your family to do something for you. Be the first one to set a new trend. Be the first one to do something that everyone said was impossible, that everyone said couldn't be done. Be the light, be the example to show them what is right, that you have the ability to fail and fail and get up and get up and to win and win and be who you want to be. You can be the one. I told you this.
Speaker 1: Saying this message, this mantra, came from me reading David Goggins' recent book Never Finished, and he talks in there about how can you be the one. He talks about everybody around you not believing in you or not having the best positive example right there in front of you, and his advice is be the first. You need to be the first one, and he listed out a few things to help you to be the one on how to structure your mind and your philosophy, to challenge yourself and to better yourself. He says reinvent your environment. You need to totally reinvent your environment. As we talk about these surroundings and our limitations. We're going to reinvent that environment. We're going to get out of these surroundings so we give ourselves the proper filtration, we're going to give ourselves the proper room to swim.
Speaker 1: Create who you want to be in your own mind. That's step two. Create who it is that you want to be in your own mind. Get comfortable with you and your path. You need to understand the sacrifices that you have to make. You need to get comfortable with your failures. You need to really lay out the path and develop an understanding for how you're going to get to where you want to get and you need to do things that you are afraid of. If you can get comfortable being uncomfortable and upping the ante and increasing the level of risk by doing the things you are afraid of, you're going to make a new you, a stronger you, a better version of you You 2.0. We're building you version 2.0. My thing that I like to put in here for a spin is face your failures, face your fuckups and face your fears. Look them in the eye. If you know what those things are, get over it, get around it, get better from it. You understand You 2.0. That is what we are working on.
Speaker 1: I want to wrap up today's message with two quotes. The first one one of the greatest pleasures in life is doing what people say you can't do. And the next one is from Thomas Jefferson If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done. Man, i hope you all enjoyed today's message. It's something I've been thinking about for quite some time. I've really been just analyzing my life, my surroundings, what got me to where I am, where I want to go and the fears that I must conquer to get there. So I just want to say thank you. Thank you for tuning in today, for listening today, for being a part of such a positive message today.
Speaker 1: But before we go today, i want to thank from the bottom of my heart each and every one of our veterans out there today. As Memorial Day passes, you can't help but count our blessings, celebrate our freedoms and thank our veterans. Because of so many that have sacrificed so much, i was able to stand in my kitchen today and spread a positive message today. Each and every one of us owe a great deal of gratitude to all of those who have sacrificed for all of us. We get to get up each and every day and live our lives and enjoy our freedoms because of their sacrifice. I am forever grateful. I have always been inspired by the actions of the men and women in the military. It is a big reason why we started Loud, proud, american, to support America, to celebrate the freedoms that we have. It is not lost on me how fortunate I am because of the sacrifices of so many. To all the veterans out there, I wish you a very happy Memorial Day And I thank you each and every day, not just one day a year. I thank you for your service.
Speaker 1: As I spent Memorial Weekend at Bentley Saloon, i was able to spend some time with a good friend of mine, derek, and his wife Leanne, and Derek is a war hero. He is someone that sacrificed so much for all of us, like all of our men and women in the military, but it was a true pleasure to get to spend Memorial Day by his side to watch him chase his passion, to live his dream. He's amazingly talented individual. He has a business Wicked Paintworks, pinstriping. All of you out there that ride motorcycles, have hot rods, muscle cars. You want some of that old school, vintage pinstriping. Derek is your man.
Speaker 1: I will put a link to his socials his information in the show notes for the podcast, if somebody out there is looking to support a veteran, to thank a veteran, to reap the benefits of a supremely talented dude, derek is your man. Look him up, send him a line, coordinate a time, tell him that the loud, proud American sent you to see him. He is the salt of the earth, truly an amazing man, and I was fortunate enough to spend some time with him and his wife Leanne, great friends of ours. But it really put her into perspective for me on Memorial Day with Derek and then thinking about all the veterans and all the things that you have all done so that all of us can chase our dreams, the fact that I was able to sit in a parking lot, at a saloon for four days, making money to provide for my family, while selling my dream, my goals, while supporting loud, proud American and American manufacturing, i'm literally allowed to chase my dreams, to live my passion, to turn on record and to spread my message. Because of all of you, all of your sacrifices and all that you've done for all of us, i am forever grateful for our veterans And I want to thank you each and every day, and I want to thank all of you for supporting my American dream And go wash your fucking hands and healthy savage. That's it and that's all. Biggie smiles.
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Speaker 1: If you're a loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, you can find me on YouTube, on Facebook or the Face Page, as my mama calls it. Just search Loud Proud American. If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, the Instagram or the Tickety Tuck with the kids, be a tickety tockin', the tic-tock. You can search Loud Underscore, proud Underscore American. If you want to join the 2% of Americans that support American manufacturing, head on over to wwwloudproudamericanshop and get your hands on some of that made in USA. Apparel and join the mission, mission 2%. Together we can bring back American manufacturing. A big old. Thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song. If you want to support the Share the Struggle Podcast, you can find the Gut Truckers on Facebook And search Gut Truckers and show your support to those Mother Truckers. I truly thank you for supporting my American dream. Now go wash your fuckin' hands, you filthy savage.
