May 7, 2025

Finding Freedom: A Daughter's Final Conversation

Finding Freedom: A Daughter's Final Conversation

Alli joins us again to share the conclusion of her healing journey through shamanic Reiki sessions, focusing on finding closure after her biological mother's passing due to addiction. • Appreciating listeners who reached out with support and sharing similar experiences • Describing the experience of loving an addict as a roller coaster of ups and downs • Importance of setting boundaries despite others' opinions about family relationships • Significance of angel numbers, particularly 555 repr...

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Alli joins us again to share the conclusion of her healing journey through shamanic Reiki sessions, focusing on finding closure after her biological mother's passing due to addiction.

• Appreciating listeners who reached out with support and sharing similar experiences
• Describing the experience of loving an addict as a roller coaster of ups and downs
• Importance of setting boundaries despite others' opinions about family relationships
• Significance of angel numbers, particularly 555 representing freedom and independence
• Detailed account of the final Reiki session and communicating with her mother's spirit
• Learning her mother never felt "good enough" - same feelings Alli struggled with
• Validating moments that confirmed her mother's presence during the session
• Commitment to prioritizing mental health and leaning into faith
• Breaking generational cycles to be stronger for her daughter

If you're struggling with addiction or loving someone with addiction, remember it's okay to not be okay, but accepting help is essential. Take one step in the right direction today.


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00:00 - Allie Returns: Healing Through Shamanic Sessions

07:16 - Happy Cinco de Mayo Conversations

09:58 - The Impact of Sharing Her Story

18:26 - Loving an Addict: The Roller Coaster

34:10 - The Final Reiki Session Journey

53:37 - Validating Messages from the Other Side

01:13:27 - Putting Herself First and Finding Faith

01:21:34 - Gratitude and Moving Forward

WEBVTT

00:00:01.745 --> 00:00:02.890
The streak continues.

00:00:02.890 --> 00:00:07.072
We are joined yet again by my beautiful bride, Allie Liberty.

00:00:07.072 --> 00:00:15.272
This week, the healing continues with yet another shamanic Reiki session recap focused on closure.

00:00:15.272 --> 00:00:18.646
Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.

00:00:18.646 --> 00:00:24.115
The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.

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The choice is completely yours.

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Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.

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If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.

00:00:40.134 --> 00:00:47.073
Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?

00:00:47.073 --> 00:00:52.792
Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.

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When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.

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Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.

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You are right where you need to be.

00:01:07.301 --> 00:01:21.606
Hey y'all, happy Cinco de Mayo, and I am so excited to be joined by you.

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Hey y'all Happy.

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Cinco de Mayo.

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Happy Cinco de Mayo.

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Well, I mean happy, belated Cinco de Mayo to you, but to us it's Cinco de Mayo.

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Cheers to the margarita.

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I got a little margigo in here.

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If I don't spill it on the couch, listen not for nothing, but these.

00:02:03.344 --> 00:02:03.665
What is it?

00:02:03.665 --> 00:02:06.531
Cayman Jack in a can.

00:02:06.531 --> 00:02:08.004
I'm not mad about it.

00:02:08.004 --> 00:02:10.527
I've had worse margaritas at dive bars.

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We received some negative reviews, but maybe it's been a while since I had a margarita, but it seems to be all right.

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I'm drinking the mango one.

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It's actually rather dapper.

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Walked my tacos down really nicely, ooh Actually rather dapper, walked my tacos down really nicely.

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Ooh yeah, you did get after the mayo day, yeah, absolutely, I had tostadas for lunch, tacos for dinner.

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Not any type of taco.

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I took hard shell tacos and wrapped them in soft tacos for you, so they didn't fall apart.

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Yeah, wow, and I even made cilantro lime rice.

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We went, went for it.

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I'll tell you right now I got one lazy eye on the couch and I got a leg up.

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And there's a funny thing about margaritas they taste refreshing but I feel like they dry you out.

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I feel like having a tough time over here great, so the people are gonna listen to you with your cotton mouth over there well, thankfully I don't have to do most of the talking this time around.

00:03:07.450 --> 00:03:10.020
Yeah, this is my episode, isn't it?

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That's right, the streak continues, my dear.

00:03:13.139 --> 00:03:14.604
Yeah, and then I think I'm taking a hiatus.

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I don't know if you should do that.

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The people don't want to hear me.

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You watch your mouth.

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We left the people on a cliffhanger last week.

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The people, people on a cliffhanger last week.

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The people wanted to know.

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People have asked.

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They reached out again.

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Thank y'all so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to me and see how I'm doing, and, uh, I appreciate that and I also appreciate you continuing on this streak of reaching out to me with your um, wonderful comments.

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I've had a bunch of people.

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Yeah, questions support comments the whole nine right.

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Yep, I've gotten a couple of people just asking me are you going to record again?

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Who knows where this will take us?

00:03:55.043 --> 00:04:02.264
But we've had a few people reach out that I've touched, like we talked about in the last episode, and I'm just super grateful for that.

00:04:02.264 --> 00:04:04.306
Like that alone is just why I did.

00:04:04.306 --> 00:04:11.661
What I did was that I hoped that I could reach out to some people and um touch some lives and that's all that.

00:04:11.681 --> 00:04:27.565
It matters, um, because this is my healing process and I'm and I'm doing it, picking up, uh, support and fans, yeah, all different angles, like we go live on tiktok and we got big g out in connecticut representing and giving you the solid good words.

00:04:27.565 --> 00:04:28.428
Thank you so much.

00:04:28.730 --> 00:04:56.745
Um, yeah, I think that it's, it's special, I think it's powerful, which which you've been doing and that's why I'm eager to take a back seat and continue to listen to your story, and we've also had the opportunity to learn that a few of our very close friends um have been um have had to deal with the same situation and we had no idea no clue um, we knew that this person's um parent had passed away, but didn't know that that was the situation.

00:04:57.648 --> 00:05:21.365
Um, they did not feel it to be a safe zone to express that, and so, um, her and I had some great conversations and, um, you know, she's going on, uh, a number of years, um, but the anniversary is coming up, so she basically wanted to share with me that, um, some really good advice that you know, it never becomes easy, it just becomes tolerable.

00:05:21.365 --> 00:05:30.276
Right, and that's valid, that's valid, and that's with anybody that has, you know, gone on to the upstairs world.

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We just learn to adapt.

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There's also different, like we've all I'm assuming at this point most people listening have in life had to deal with loss and I think that they're all different and we all handle them different.

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And I think that they're all different and we all handle them different and, like.

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I can certainly relate to you when it comes to loss of a parent, but not in this way.

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And then it's also very different for you because of like the relationship you had, like as far as the parental loss, like feeling like you've lost your mother.

00:06:01.545 --> 00:06:17.466
You went through that when you were 17, when you lost your grandmother, because she did the bulk of the nurturing and the raising but this was still your, your birth mother, right so there's yep, my biological mom, there's still a whole different um, feel and process to it absolutely.

00:06:17.586 --> 00:06:25.309
yeah, it's definitely a different um feel than when I was 17, um, because we did share a different relationship.

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But then there's also those moments where I'm like you know, you start to think about the whole picture and you're like that was my mom and no, we didn't have a mother-daughter relationship and 90% of the time didn't consider her a mother, and that's okay, because that's not the relationship that her and I shared and she was aware of that.

00:06:50.593 --> 00:06:57.004
It's not like you know, I I held that from her um and she knows she very much knows that.

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That's um how, how we ended, yeah, um ended Um, so yeah, it's, uh, it's different.

00:07:06.934 --> 00:07:57.202
For sure I think, um, you know, one of the underlying themes of this that we hope gets out there to people and can can, um, invoke some change is addiction, and addiction takes many things and there's a trickle-down effect to addiction that people don't realize you know, and addiction unfortunately took your biological mom from you emotionally a long time ago physically now, but emotionally a long time ago yeah, exactly and we hope that a lot of these messages is a wake-up call to people that are struggling with addiction or struggling with relationships with people that are addicted.

00:07:57.483 --> 00:08:32.427
You know, yeah, I always um want to just advocate that it's very important to have a support system for yourself if you are in that situation, for either whether you're the addict or whether you are a family member loving an addict, make sure that you're taken care of before you try to help anybody else, and for the addict it's okay to not be okay, but you need to accept and ask for help.

00:08:33.327 --> 00:08:38.331
That's important, and I know that sometimes addicts don't realize that they need the help.

00:08:38.331 --> 00:08:57.052
But I just hope that maybe, just maybe, someone out there might be addicted and might be listening, that maybe there's a glimpse of hope, correct, maybe they have like a thought process that maybe life could be better if I got some help.

00:08:57.052 --> 00:09:00.789
Starting with you know, one step.

00:09:00.789 --> 00:09:14.168
If that means that maybe you don't get high this this hour, or maybe you don't go meet up with that friend, that you know that you're going to get high with, like, maybe taking a walk instead, just one step in the right direction.

00:09:14.168 --> 00:09:19.423
Um, I hope that you can be strong enough to to do that, because there is light at the end of the tunnel.

00:09:20.105 --> 00:09:44.075
This is a hard road and you just have to put one foot in front of the other you would hope that by sharing your story, if there's somebody out there that has that glimmer of hope and light that their future could be changed, could hear that addiction took your mother and your relationship and destroyed it, and then took her life and destroyed it, and hope that they hear this story.

00:09:44.075 --> 00:09:44.942
You shared your pain and your journey and hopes that somebody would hear it.

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And then took her life and destroyed it and hope that they hear this story.

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You shared your pain and your journey and hopes that somebody would hear it and say you know what?

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I don't want my kids to feel that way.

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I don't want my parents to feel that way.

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Let me take a chance now.

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I don't want to push Maybe it's a scenario where they're like you know what.

00:10:01.153 --> 00:10:05.231
I don't want to push my family to the point where they have to distance themselves from me.

00:10:05.231 --> 00:10:09.142
I don't want to push all my family away to the point where they can't be around me.

00:10:09.142 --> 00:10:16.066
Or I don't want to continue to punish the family that is with me because I refuse to change or refuse to get help.

00:10:16.407 --> 00:10:17.791
Hopefully there's people out there listening.

00:10:17.791 --> 00:10:24.712
That can be impact and we can, you know, help them make a pivot before the point of no return.

00:10:24.894 --> 00:10:27.104
Yeah, the only way for me to explain.

00:10:27.104 --> 00:10:37.767
If you've never been in a situation, like I am, where you're loving an addict, the only way for me to explain it to you would be going on a roller coaster.

00:10:37.767 --> 00:10:40.006
That's the only way for me to break it down for you.

00:10:40.006 --> 00:10:49.426
So you're, you know, climbing the top, climbing the top and you know it could be good, it could be bad On the other side, you don't know.

00:10:49.426 --> 00:10:51.528
But then you're going up and you're going down.

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You're going up and you're going down the entire time Good with the bad, bad with the ugly.

00:10:57.729 --> 00:11:16.173
And then the ride is over and you have the option to get off and save yourself, distance yourself, or you have the option to stay on this roller coaster and continue this up and down cycle.

00:11:17.221 --> 00:11:35.794
At some point you have to be strong enough to stand for both you and the addict, and that's really the only way that I can explain it is that I had to take a stance and be the strong one in a situation, and loving an addict is an empty feeling.

00:11:35.794 --> 00:11:42.426
It always felt like a one-sided relationship to me.

00:11:42.426 --> 00:11:47.743
It always felt like when I would go to try and help, it was like well, what did?

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What do I get in return.

00:11:49.488 --> 00:11:50.912
That's how that would be.

00:11:50.912 --> 00:11:55.364
Her mental um, her mindset like how do I?

00:11:56.466 --> 00:12:01.020
yeah, there's always what's the benefit in it, for me that's how an addict functions and operates.

00:12:01.020 --> 00:12:16.960
It's always very self-centric like looking for what's the benefit for me, um and their whole support system and the people that generally stick with them, I feel like keep the same motto they just kind of gravitate towards each other if you were making the decision.

00:12:17.561 --> 00:12:36.129
Whatever your decision is and how you're trying to handle, you know, loving an addict, whether it's from a distance or what you're trying to do, don't let anybody else's opinion or um just emotions negative or positive, impact what you know is right for you and your heart to do yeah because I think that's one of the big things.

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A lot of times, like I know for you, you had made the decision to distance yourself, like early in our relationship, and you would get criticized for it.

00:12:44.888 --> 00:12:45.409
Every time.

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Even to this day, you'd have random family members that you know you don't talk to very often, that you've made it clear to them hey, you know we're I'm taking, I'm taking my space.

00:12:56.730 --> 00:13:02.924
They would still reach out when they saw something or heard something and then try to push you or pull you back into it.

00:13:02.924 --> 00:13:10.485
You got to be strong, or whatever your beliefs are and your convictions are and what you decided to do, but don't let anybody else's input swayed you.

00:13:10.606 --> 00:13:10.927
You know what I?

00:13:10.947 --> 00:13:12.731
mean when you make a decision.

00:13:12.731 --> 00:13:15.546
You make the decision and you go with it, because it's what you need to do.

00:13:15.986 --> 00:13:25.494
One thing that I heard nonstop my entire life when trying to distance myself was well, that's your mom.

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Well, that's your dad.

00:13:27.865 --> 00:13:29.904
Well, what about me?

00:13:29.904 --> 00:13:40.330
I'm the child in this situation and it doesn't have to be that situation, but that is what has always stuck in my brain.

00:13:40.811 --> 00:13:41.130
Of course.

00:13:41.250 --> 00:13:44.336
Well, that's your mom, well, that's your dad, you're correct.

00:13:44.336 --> 00:14:09.562
But am I ever treated that way?

00:14:09.562 --> 00:14:11.225
Of course in, but that's what I always heard.

00:14:11.225 --> 00:14:11.806
So you know to your point.

00:14:11.806 --> 00:14:13.308
I just hope that, if your situation is like mine and it is apparent.

00:14:13.349 --> 00:14:26.974
it's very possible that you're going to hear just that, and I ask you to not hold that as tightly as I did, because that is what would always draw me back.

00:14:26.974 --> 00:14:28.054
You're right.

00:14:28.054 --> 00:14:29.181
What else can I offer?

00:14:29.181 --> 00:14:29.982
What else can I do?

00:14:29.982 --> 00:14:31.145
How do I fix it?

00:14:31.145 --> 00:14:33.952
Because that's my mom or that's my dad.

00:14:35.100 --> 00:14:46.763
It was very early in our relationship when I had to tell you because you had these things, sometimes you would defend it like well, that's my, that's my mom, that's my dad.

00:14:46.763 --> 00:14:47.404
It is what it is.

00:14:47.404 --> 00:14:53.703
And I would tell you like, from the day that I've met you, yeah, you've been the adult in the situation.

00:14:53.703 --> 00:15:05.395
Yeah, legitimately, since the day we met, you have been the parent you have been the adult, you have been the mature run in this relationship.

00:15:05.777 --> 00:15:19.956
When it comes to your family relationship, they haven't been parental to you since I've known you correct so you're the one that's trying to um force accountability, responsibility.

00:15:19.956 --> 00:15:20.739
You know what I mean.

00:15:20.739 --> 00:15:23.066
Like it's, I don't know it's.

00:15:23.066 --> 00:15:29.818
It's hard to say yeah, it's something that I've seen from the beginning, but, like you said, people will always tell you oh, this is your mother.

00:15:29.839 --> 00:15:39.270
You, you know you can't turn your back on her right, exactly well, she turned my her back on me you know, many times so that's, that's a tough thing and people are going to get guilted into it.

00:15:39.471 --> 00:15:44.649
I've dealt with it with my family not my parents, but siblings, you.

00:15:44.649 --> 00:15:47.234
So I know and it's like well, I mean, that's your brother.

00:15:47.234 --> 00:15:48.605
Well, I got news for you.

00:15:48.605 --> 00:16:06.009
I have, unfortunately, several brothers and sisters that I don't talk to, some of them by my choice, some not, but when you're talking about loving an addict, there's going to be moments of clarity and moments of hope where you truly feel like they're on the road to normal, that they're.

00:16:06.009 --> 00:16:14.530
On that you see the glimmer of who you want them to be, or who you know they can be, but it's always going to be taken and you're going to be the one left to suffer.

00:16:14.932 --> 00:16:20.111
Yeah, I mean, I had a valid glimpse of hope in January.

00:16:20.111 --> 00:16:40.475
Actually, just before January, she made a new Facebook, reached out to me and for like a couple of weeks, like we and I think we've touched on it like she was talking to me like you know, checking in seeing how things were, I was answering her, but from a distance, you know not cautiously optimistic?

00:16:40.597 --> 00:16:44.445
yes, yes, I would say hello.

00:16:44.445 --> 00:16:47.883
She would you know if she would reach out to me and I would.

00:16:47.883 --> 00:16:49.366
She would ask me how I was doing.

00:16:49.366 --> 00:16:51.171
I never.

00:16:51.171 --> 00:17:06.049
I was very, very cautious about responding and how I would respond, knowing the type of person that she is, and we had gone months without talking, and so she would always ask me like, how are you?

00:17:06.049 --> 00:17:22.112
But I would never ask how you are, because I know that question alone is going to open up a floodgate, to be like, well, I don't have this and I don't have that, and da da, da, da da, this, that and the third.

00:17:22.112 --> 00:17:24.025
I know that's going to open it.

00:17:24.025 --> 00:17:26.330
So she would always ask me how are you?

00:17:26.330 --> 00:17:29.308
And I would tell her I'm, I'm doing okay, I'm doing okay.

00:17:29.308 --> 00:17:39.701
I never wanted to be like, oh, you know, I'm doing this and doing that and like you're not gonna rub somebody's face and success basically nope it was always I'm doing good.

00:17:40.143 --> 00:17:41.586
Okay, thanks for asking.

00:17:41.586 --> 00:17:46.496
Um, I'm I at work, hope you have a good day.

00:17:46.496 --> 00:17:47.458
Talk to you later.

00:17:47.458 --> 00:17:56.240
Very short and sweet, and every now and again she would ask how Paisley was and I would just tell her she's doing good.

00:17:56.240 --> 00:17:58.564
Thanks for asking, and that was it.

00:17:58.564 --> 00:18:08.135
Very short conversations, but as those short conversations grew longer, they became more, more hopeful.

00:18:08.135 --> 00:18:11.144
You know she would tell me that.

00:18:11.144 --> 00:18:21.710
You know she was off to get groceries or you know her and her boyfriend were going to a hotel they were staying in.

00:18:21.710 --> 00:18:30.740
They got some help from, like general assistance and stuff, and I was like, oh, that's great, like congratulations, like that's awesome, that's a step in the right direction.

00:18:30.740 --> 00:18:59.964
So those conversations kind of led into a little bit deeper and I felt that maybe, maybe there's a turned leaf, but still at a distance like a far distance, like a couple mile distance, like protecting my heart but being there as support um, I want to throw caution out there to people that are trying to separate themselves.

00:19:00.547 --> 00:19:14.650
This is a tricky thing to do and I don't really recommend it very tricky like that's very this is you were walking on the cycle of her derailing any good thing that you had built at this moment but you were cautiously optimistic.

00:19:14.650 --> 00:19:17.800
You were keeping it at an arm's length yeah and and going slow.

00:19:18.442 --> 00:19:25.114
The truth is, unless someone's getting help, even going slow, yeah, results in the same result.

00:19:25.114 --> 00:19:26.402
Yeah, that it's always been.

00:19:26.402 --> 00:19:34.777
Yeah, I know that sucks, it's a shitty thing to say, but it's the absolute truth unless somebody is legitimately getting help like they're checking in hey, how's it going?

00:19:34.777 --> 00:19:35.740
Great, how are you doing?

00:19:35.740 --> 00:19:37.145
Okay, have you gotten help?

00:19:37.145 --> 00:19:39.574
If they're not getting help, yeah, then you.

00:19:39.574 --> 00:19:41.259
There's really there.

00:19:41.840 --> 00:19:47.313
There's no need to proceed and during this conversation I offered to get her help.

00:19:47.313 --> 00:19:54.251
You know I she had let me know what she was up to and you know I had.

00:19:54.251 --> 00:20:02.747
I was very honest with her and I said you know, a few people have told me that they've, they've run into you and you've been very much under the influence of something.

00:20:02.747 --> 00:20:12.953
I don't want to know what, it's none of my business, and I know that your boyfriend is in and out of the hospital due to his drug of choice.

00:20:12.953 --> 00:20:26.891
You know, I offered help, told her that there was a few sober livings in the area, but the same result came I'm not an addict, I'm not an addict.

00:20:26.891 --> 00:20:30.643
And so you know again, I just started distancing myself.

00:20:30.643 --> 00:20:37.914
There was little to no conversation for a little while.

00:20:37.914 --> 00:20:39.964
Very short, sweet hi, how are you?

00:20:39.964 --> 00:20:42.068
I'm okay, I'm working.

00:20:42.068 --> 00:20:52.568
So it started to kind of backpedal a little bit and then, as we talked about before, she um sent me messages about wanting to um off.

00:20:52.568 --> 00:20:54.813
Herself is basically um.

00:20:54.813 --> 00:20:58.145
So this is this right.

00:20:58.205 --> 00:21:03.842
Here was I could see that the narcissism was starting to ramp back up based on the conversations that were happening.

00:21:03.842 --> 00:21:09.511
Um, so I started to kind of backpedal a little bit and pure narcissistic behavior.

00:21:09.511 --> 00:21:14.767
She went from what we call zero to psycho and she made comments.

00:21:14.767 --> 00:21:17.030
So then we went and got her.

00:21:17.030 --> 00:21:19.260
I tried to offer her some help again.

00:21:19.260 --> 00:21:22.749
So again to your point, I don't recommend it either.

00:21:22.749 --> 00:21:27.490
But it was based on the beginning conversations that were like, okay, maybe she did get help.

00:21:27.490 --> 00:21:30.303
Ms Thang has something to say.

00:21:35.272 --> 00:21:35.953
Well, hello.

00:21:35.953 --> 00:21:42.248
The queen of the Liberty residence has decided the recording shall not continue.

00:21:42.248 --> 00:21:46.855
What shall you say, dear oh?

00:21:46.875 --> 00:21:46.994
dear.

00:21:47.394 --> 00:21:47.655
Nothing.

00:21:47.655 --> 00:21:51.184
I'm surprised you had so much to say a minute ago.

00:21:51.184 --> 00:21:55.673
Hi, exactly that's what I thought.

00:21:55.673 --> 00:22:00.191
Hello, we are being joined here by our live studio audience.

00:22:00.191 --> 00:22:01.542
Yeah, clapping.

00:22:01.542 --> 00:22:06.441
Miss Paisley Rain has joined us Again.

00:22:06.441 --> 00:22:19.464
This is a nighttime couch session recording session here this evening, and part of that is because, yeah, we're recording on a Monday, as you mentioned.

00:22:19.464 --> 00:22:26.411
We're celebrating Cinco de Mayo, but it's a belated Cinco for all of our listeners.

00:22:26.632 --> 00:22:26.852
Yes.

00:22:27.820 --> 00:22:34.993
And there was a few reasons why you said I'll join the podcast this week but I am recording on Monday.

00:22:39.845 --> 00:22:50.214
Yes, last session with Missy, my last final wrap up with my healing with her.

00:22:50.214 --> 00:23:08.160
But I also wanted to record today, because it is the day of 555 portal, which 555 is a angel number, and I recommend looking up angel numbers.

00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:13.924
If you continuously see consecutive numbers, there's a reason for it.

00:23:13.924 --> 00:23:23.790
Your angels, your spirits, are trying to tell you something at that moment in time, and so I encourage you to please just go ahead and look up.

00:23:23.790 --> 00:23:35.984
When you see that number continuously, just look it up on Google and all you have to do is just type in like 555, angel number, and you will get the entire breakdown.

00:23:35.984 --> 00:23:49.266
And it's rather impressive, to be honest, because if you think about that moment in time, like when you're seeing it and what's going on, you'll see that it will connect with you, your spirit guides.

00:23:49.266 --> 00:23:50.650
They are phenomenal.

00:23:51.531 --> 00:24:05.277
So during this process of me healing and getting the news of my mother's passing, I have seen a lot of 555.

00:24:05.277 --> 00:24:10.726
And we generally will reach out to one another about 444.

00:24:10.726 --> 00:24:20.071
We have a family connection with 444, but it also means protection protection from your spirit guides and so that's really important to us.

00:24:20.071 --> 00:24:24.329
We have a family group chat that you know.

00:24:24.329 --> 00:24:30.607
If any of us catch the 444, we send it out in the group chat and it just gives you that like boost of positivity.

00:24:30.607 --> 00:24:37.443
You're like you know what, thank you, like I really needed that at that moment, like I might have missed it, but to go back and see it on my message, I love that.

00:24:38.707 --> 00:24:46.523
So I have the angel number 555 popping up quite a bit during this last couple of process journey, I should say.

00:24:46.523 --> 00:25:05.692
And so the 555 represents freedom and independence, suggesting that you are ready to welcome new and exciting adventures, follow your intuition and let go of the past to make a transition as smoothly as possible.

00:25:05.692 --> 00:25:11.873
I don't know about you, but that makes the back of my neck hairs stand up.

00:25:11.873 --> 00:25:16.425
Know about you, but that makes the back of my neck hairs stand up.

00:25:16.425 --> 00:25:25.707
Because, if you remember my first session that we just talked about in the last episode, that is exactly what Missy was talking about Independence, freedom and new beginnings coming.

00:25:25.707 --> 00:25:52.894
And during this process of healing and going through the motions of grieving, I have felt free and I'm ready to continue to move forward in this journey and be a better human, a better mom, a better wife, because I have the ability to heal during this process of grief.

00:25:52.894 --> 00:26:02.654
So just a phenomenal opportunity for me to kind of see that consecutive number and see it line up with Missy's guidance.

00:26:03.901 --> 00:26:07.891
I didn't really know much about angel numbers until the past few years.

00:26:07.891 --> 00:26:09.501
You and my mom had brought that up.

00:26:09.501 --> 00:26:26.405
I know it's something that you guys have been big on and you know since, like losing my father and going through those things, I really opened my eyes to them, looking into those signs, leaning into it for for guidance, for hope, you know, and, like you said, having the group family chat.

00:26:26.405 --> 00:26:41.707
Every time the phone goes off and it's a 444, you just get a little feeling of safety and and that you know, even if we're not all here together at the same time, like we're all seeing the same thing, we're all feeling the same thing and we're connected to each other.

00:26:41.707 --> 00:26:45.522
So leaning into those things I think is extremely powerful.

00:26:45.522 --> 00:27:05.586
But hearing what Missy's like guidance and message has been for you and then seeing that 555 directly correlates with everything that she's been saying made it just make so much more sense for you with this scenario, in my opinion.

00:27:06.820 --> 00:27:23.545
Yeah, I think it's really important for you to just find those, look into those signs and watch those guiding numbers, because there is a meaning for it.

00:27:23.545 --> 00:27:34.640
And in your point, like you didn't really focus much on it until it was brought to light, it's like you pass by it all the time and maybe you see one, two, three, four all the time.

00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:39.355
Or maybe you see um, 11, 11 and don't think much of it.

00:27:39.355 --> 00:27:44.208
You're like all right, it's just 11 o'clock, like no big deal, um.

00:27:44.208 --> 00:27:49.087
But if you really do some digging and some soul searching, you might find a little bit more into it.

00:27:49.087 --> 00:27:58.910
And uh, I'm gonna throw a challenge out there for you look at you challenging the people, huh I am I am.

00:27:58.970 --> 00:28:02.943
We're not talking about like hey, one time today I saw 11, 11.

00:28:02.943 --> 00:28:16.259
We're talking about like you repeatedly see it, I see it in the afternoon I see it at night I wake up every night at 333 like Stuff, like that Random things that continue to repeat themselves and to continue to invade your space.

00:28:16.439 --> 00:28:22.209
Correct and it doesn't have to just be the time it can be a license plate.

00:28:22.209 --> 00:28:25.042
It can be the time it could be.

00:28:25.921 --> 00:28:28.067
The receipt you had today at Walmart.

00:28:28.509 --> 00:28:29.111
Prime example.

00:28:29.111 --> 00:28:33.750
So this morning it is the 555 portal.

00:28:33.750 --> 00:28:38.945
I'm driving to work, the truck in front of me was 555.

00:28:38.945 --> 00:28:46.461
And I've been waking up at 555 and looking at the clock at 555.

00:28:46.461 --> 00:28:53.114
So after two times of seeing 555, I'm like all right, you know what I'm going to put that in.

00:28:53.114 --> 00:29:09.252
So my challenge to the people is over this week, if you see a number and it can be 1, 2, 3, 4, it can be 5, 6, 7, 8, it can be a synchrony of numbers.

00:29:09.252 --> 00:29:15.701
I think that's what it's called, right, a synchrony of numbers.

00:29:15.701 --> 00:29:16.583
I think that's what it's called right.

00:29:16.583 --> 00:29:28.345
I want you to take the time to throw it into Google and just put that sequence of numbers that's the word into Google and put angel number at the end and see what it has to say.

00:29:28.345 --> 00:29:41.136
Are you going to see something come forward that sparks your interest or is spot on?

00:29:41.136 --> 00:29:46.652
Because you'd be rather surprised at what you're going to find.

00:29:46.652 --> 00:29:48.244
I will say that myself.

00:29:49.469 --> 00:30:02.074
Okay, so you're throwing down the challenge, and the said challenge is when you start repeatedly seeing something, look into it, see what it is, figure out.

00:30:02.074 --> 00:30:13.602
You know what the meaning is and then, if I know you, based off of everything we've been through with this, the next step of that is to lean into whatever it is you're seeing, right?

00:30:13.602 --> 00:30:22.926
So if there's a message, whatever, like you just said, 555, what was one of the things that 555?

00:30:22.946 --> 00:30:25.071
had meant Freedom and growth.

00:30:25.681 --> 00:30:37.248
So if you're seeing this, message freedom and growth, then lean into freedom and growth, then lean into freedom and growth and then open your eyes to everything else around you that says freedom and growth.

00:30:37.248 --> 00:30:45.672
Now, maybe you know you're at the supermarket but you happen to see like a poster with an eagle that says freedom on it.

00:30:45.672 --> 00:30:52.945
You turn, you happen to be at Walmart, so you turn out of the freaking grocery section and then there's four t-shirts that all say freedom.

00:30:53.366 --> 00:30:55.133
So you start seeing these things.

00:30:55.133 --> 00:31:03.814
You're driving to work and you're listening to the radio and there's a song free as the bird or it's a free bird right, Something like that.

00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:18.451
So you start leaning into it and, before you know it, you have an inspiration that's coming to you Like this these angel numbers are coming to you and they're piquing your interest and they're fueling your direction as to where you should be going.

00:31:18.451 --> 00:31:21.208
Okay, freedom, I should be chasing this.

00:31:21.208 --> 00:31:22.050
I should be leaning into this.

00:31:22.050 --> 00:31:24.008
So now I'm starting to see freedom everywhere.

00:31:24.008 --> 00:31:26.067
What do I need to be free from?

00:31:26.067 --> 00:31:29.190
Am I in a shitty relationship that I need to get myself out of?

00:31:29.190 --> 00:31:34.184
Am I in a shitty position at a company that I don't want to be there?

00:31:34.184 --> 00:31:35.107
Do I need to free myself from that?

00:31:35.107 --> 00:31:35.470
What is it?

00:31:35.470 --> 00:31:38.440
Why am I being told freedom?

00:31:38.440 --> 00:31:40.505
What is the reason for freedom?

00:31:40.505 --> 00:31:46.705
And then lean into it and use that to help make decisions and to force yourself out of your comfort zone?

00:31:46.705 --> 00:31:55.327
Because I don't think there's any way that you're going to be getting these signs unless they're trying to help you, motivate you, change you, push you, pull you.

00:31:55.327 --> 00:31:55.828
You know what I mean.

00:31:56.150 --> 00:32:12.269
Yeah, the nice thing about when you type in Google like 444 angel numbers, it will break it down for you in a couple of different categories, so you'll have the ability to kind of break down what part resonates with you.

00:32:12.269 --> 00:32:19.261
So, is it trust, is it success, is it relationship, is it guidance?

00:32:19.261 --> 00:32:34.335
There's so many different avenues that that spirit number could mean to you and, like you said, once you look into it and you start feeling into it, you could see that guidance in multiple different ways.

00:32:34.335 --> 00:33:05.027
So what we'll do at this point is kind of flip script a little bit and we'll go into detail about how these numbers have shown up for me and pointed me to the direction, that I am doing the right thing by sharing my story, moving forward with guidance with Missy and how that process came about on my last session with Missy.

00:33:05.027 --> 00:33:06.631
That sound okay to you?

00:33:08.101 --> 00:33:08.300
I'm in.

00:33:08.300 --> 00:33:09.523
That sounds good to me.

00:33:09.523 --> 00:33:18.028
If I sound like I'm running down a hallway or I'm in the back room, it's because I'm turning my microphone off and I'm trying to do my best.

00:33:18.028 --> 00:33:19.632
Dad duty over here, and I don't know.

00:33:19.632 --> 00:33:26.032
You're doing a great job I was hoping you didn't laugh when you looked over and she had her ankles behind her head and a ball in her hands Like I don't know.

00:33:26.032 --> 00:33:29.184
Look at this little jungle gym that we're raising.

00:33:29.866 --> 00:33:31.450
Goodness, little jungle gym that we're raising Gymnast.

00:33:31.450 --> 00:33:32.030
You're crazy.

00:33:32.030 --> 00:33:33.093
You're crazy.

00:33:33.093 --> 00:33:37.990
All right, so we are going to lean into the science that you've been seeing.

00:33:37.990 --> 00:33:39.986
Yeah, I'm ready for an example.

00:33:39.986 --> 00:33:41.265
Give me an example.

00:33:41.265 --> 00:33:49.140
Okay, exhibit A Well, that would be like Exhibit 7, because you've already shared a bunch, so you know.

00:33:49.259 --> 00:33:56.161
Well, exhibit, yeah, this one, yeah, but that's okay.

00:33:56.161 --> 00:34:08.769
Um, so I had my final uh reiki appointment, shamanic healing with missy, and, all right, get into my car, turn my car on.

00:34:08.769 --> 00:34:10.853
Oh, by the way, let's back up for a second.

00:34:10.853 --> 00:34:19.251
This session that I went into was not like any other healing session that I had gone into with Reiki for Missy.

00:34:19.251 --> 00:34:38.157
Missy now offers this guided reading spiritual journey for people who have lost family members, friends, instantly, no opportunity to say goodbye.

00:34:38.157 --> 00:34:43.583
So basically, the way that she looks at this is like suicide, murder that happen.

00:34:43.583 --> 00:35:07.869
So what I'm walking into is I know that Missy is going to talk to my mother spiritually medium, more or less mediumship.

00:35:07.869 --> 00:35:14.677
I know this is what I'm walking into and I'm prepared for it.

00:35:15.039 --> 00:35:22.369
Since my last session, I have taken the time to do a lot of thinking, a lot of healing.

00:35:22.369 --> 00:35:30.766
I prayed on it because I knew what I was walking into was going to be pretty harsh.

00:35:30.766 --> 00:35:36.853
So exhibit A, as you're requesting.

00:35:36.853 --> 00:35:46.344
I had gone downstairs to get into my car to go to my appointment on Monday, and no sooner did I turn my ignition on.

00:35:46.344 --> 00:35:52.813
Does the song Go Rest High come on my radio?

00:35:52.813 --> 00:35:58.230
I'm sorry, I beg your finest pardon, go Rest High.

00:35:58.230 --> 00:36:04.005
They don't put that on the radio, to my knowledge.

00:36:05.561 --> 00:36:18.893
Let's just say Go Rest High is not on the top 40 for requested songs during the week, because everybody has the reminder of a funeral of somebody passing on.

00:36:18.893 --> 00:36:31.760
It was the first song you recommended for my dad's service on the video portion of the slideshow that we made, so that's a heavy song to throw on the radio.

00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:33.981
Let's just put that out there Like.

00:36:34.161 --> 00:36:34.925
I just want to remind you.

00:36:35.179 --> 00:36:39.034
It's like watching the TV and Sarah McLachlan comes on talking about dogs dying.

00:36:39.094 --> 00:36:46.650
You know what I'm saying 110% and let's just paint the scene for you it is about 1115 in the morning.

00:36:46.650 --> 00:36:51.530
Okay, like we've barely had coffee.

00:36:51.530 --> 00:36:53.260
Okay, don't start the morning off like that.

00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:58.327
Maybe there was a lunchtime request, for you know what I'm going to call on the radio station I want a lunchtime cry.

00:36:58.327 --> 00:36:59.130
That's what I need.

00:36:59.130 --> 00:37:04.530
Some sick son of a bitch out there said I need a lunchtime cry session.

00:37:04.530 --> 00:37:05.592
You know what I need?

00:37:05.592 --> 00:37:07.788
To ruin my day before lunch.

00:37:07.788 --> 00:37:09.041
That's what I need to do.

00:37:09.041 --> 00:37:13.882
I need to be as depressed as I can before I get back from lunch.

00:37:13.882 --> 00:37:15.146
You know what I mean.

00:37:15.559 --> 00:37:17.547
I'm going to shed tears in a small fry.

00:37:17.547 --> 00:37:20.967
You know, big tears in a small fry.

00:37:20.967 --> 00:37:22.244
That's what I'm dialing up for lunch.

00:37:22.264 --> 00:37:22.746
There you go.

00:37:22.746 --> 00:37:25.608
Someone needed something.

00:37:25.608 --> 00:37:39.623
Apparently, that someone was me, because as I'm driving to my session, I'm listening to this song and I've heard it 100 times, just like everybody else.

00:37:39.623 --> 00:38:09.530
But the thought to me was I'm about to go and say my final goodbyes and I am about to work with Missy to release my mom from any responsibility that she has left here on earth.

00:38:09.530 --> 00:38:16.637
My goal is to walk in and not hold anything back.

00:38:16.637 --> 00:38:24.753
At this point, I know that I need this for myself and that's what I was going to walk in on.

00:38:24.753 --> 00:38:28.304
So no sooner did that song end?

00:38:28.304 --> 00:38:33.233
Did the next song begin?

00:38:33.233 --> 00:38:40.228
And again, just one of those things that, like I wouldn't have put these songs back to back.

00:38:40.228 --> 00:38:44.472
But hey, someone wanted a small rye and a big rye.

00:38:44.940 --> 00:38:46.266
Yeah, did you get your DJ off?

00:38:46.266 --> 00:38:46.646
A wish.

00:38:46.646 --> 00:38:48.016
What's going on here?

00:38:48.056 --> 00:38:48.219
Yeah.

00:38:48.219 --> 00:38:55.228
So the following song, same station was Bye Bye by Jodie Messina.

00:38:56.831 --> 00:38:57.492
Okay, All right.

00:38:57.492 --> 00:39:02.331
I mean traditionally you could hear it as like a breakup song, but I think there might be some meaning in there.

00:39:02.721 --> 00:39:05.009
Oh, there's some deep meaning, because I've heard this song.

00:39:05.009 --> 00:39:14.351
I'm a diehard country fan and grew up on 90s country, so heard this song, blared this song a ton of times.

00:39:14.351 --> 00:39:37.094
But what I didn't know is, as I am singing this song word for word, I begin to just cry, because the words in this song mean so much when you're about to go and say goodbye to your mom.

00:39:37.335 --> 00:39:37.876
That makes sense.

00:39:39.844 --> 00:39:41.550
So I'm not going to sing this to you.

00:39:41.550 --> 00:39:42.956
Oh come on.

00:39:42.956 --> 00:39:45.409
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:39:45.409 --> 00:39:48.610
I only sing in the shower and in my car alone, that's it.

00:39:48.610 --> 00:39:52.782
Or when I'm trying to make a fool out of myself with my daughter, that's it, no evidence, no evidence.

00:39:52.782 --> 00:39:53.262
Car alone, that's it.

00:39:53.262 --> 00:39:55.128
Or when I'm trying to make a fool out of myself with my daughter, that's it.

00:39:55.128 --> 00:39:55.811
No evidence, no evidence.

00:39:55.811 --> 00:39:57.717
So I just want to summarize this song a little bit.

00:39:57.717 --> 00:40:02.132
If you're interested, go find it on youtube, just read the lyrics.

00:40:02.132 --> 00:40:04.338
It's not, it's.

00:40:04.338 --> 00:40:06.965
It's a lot more than just a breakup song.

00:40:07.166 --> 00:40:15.494
I will say um, yeah, I think when, like you said, when you're finding meaning in places that you didn't normally before, you know what I mean.

00:40:17.320 --> 00:40:17.420
Yeah.

00:40:17.420 --> 00:40:27.070
So the beginning of the song obviously talks about like the breakup and so I'm like, all right, you know passing by this, but I know what's about to come, like the chorus.

00:40:27.070 --> 00:40:30.730
So you get through the first lyrics of you know I'll catch you later.

00:40:30.730 --> 00:40:34.643
So you get through the first lyrics of you know I'll catch you later.

00:40:34.643 --> 00:40:35.425
You know you gotta go kind of thing to.

00:40:35.425 --> 00:40:52.434
I've got my lead foot down on the accelerator and my rear view mirror torn off okay I'm driving to my reiki session and the last thing that I'm doing is looking behind me.

00:40:53.541 --> 00:41:03.572
That's the way that I'm interpreting this, because I'm always taking one step forward and six back by looking at the rear view mirror, always.

00:41:03.572 --> 00:41:15.824
So it goes into say I've put my heart and soul on the line, said you needed some time because my mom would always lead me in and push me away.

00:41:15.824 --> 00:41:22.777
So the next line goes I've tried all I can imagine.

00:41:22.777 --> 00:41:25.565
I've begged and pleaded in true lover's fashion.

00:41:25.565 --> 00:41:40.672
I've got pride and I'm taking it for a ride Like I have put anything and everything on the line, offered help, offered support, begged and pleaded for her to get the support and it just never, never was enough.

00:41:40.672 --> 00:41:49.943
It goes into, say the the chorus, but then it falls right into don't think all those tears are going to hold me here like they've done before.

00:41:50.603 --> 00:41:52.106
she used to do that, that's.

00:41:52.106 --> 00:41:58.980
I think that's one of the biggest ones in the entire song right there, for sure, for sure.

00:41:59.019 --> 00:42:05.686
Yeah, that hits, hits hard, because it was always the woe.

00:42:05.686 --> 00:42:07.188
Is me mentality.

00:42:07.188 --> 00:42:11.434
Um, she would have me in this grasp.

00:42:12.375 --> 00:42:16.809
I feel like the line was it not going to let these tears say that to me again?

00:42:19.221 --> 00:42:22.784
Don't think all those tears are going to hold me here, like they've done before.

00:42:23.681 --> 00:42:32.306
Just like you said all the tears, all the history but, also, like you just said, you're crying on your way to the appointment and telling yourself these tears ain't going to hold me here.

00:42:32.306 --> 00:42:36.931
So, don't think that this is going to be, you know, the winning recipe here.

00:42:37.271 --> 00:42:37.432
Yeah.

00:42:37.432 --> 00:42:44.434
And then the last line in this chorus says you'll find what's left of us on the cloud of dust on Highway 4.

00:42:44.434 --> 00:43:09.329
I'm about to close this chapter and the last thing that I'm doing is looking in my rearview mirror because I know all I have to do is move forward.

00:43:09.329 --> 00:43:22.911
At this point, that hurt a little bit, I'm sure.

00:43:22.911 --> 00:43:28.617
The next line of the song is what did you expect me to do?

00:43:28.617 --> 00:43:32.143
Sit around and wait on you?

00:43:32.143 --> 00:43:33.246
And that's exactly what I did.

00:43:33.746 --> 00:43:37.994
I think, connecting your story and everything too.

00:43:37.994 --> 00:43:44.074
It puts a whole different perspective on the song and the way we've always heard it.

00:43:44.275 --> 00:43:44.838
You know what I mean?

00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:47.288
Yeah, which I think that's the thing about music.

00:43:47.288 --> 00:43:54.371
You can hear a song a certain way every time, but when it comes to you, when you need it, you know what I mean.

00:43:54.371 --> 00:44:02.492
Like when you're open to a message and sometimes music finds you when you need to be found and you can hear something a total different way.

00:44:02.492 --> 00:44:03.014
You know what I mean.

00:44:03.514 --> 00:44:07.407
Yeah, this part hit a little bit as well.

00:44:07.407 --> 00:44:13.539
As you guys have listened, I've put my heart on the line and shared everything, um.

00:44:13.539 --> 00:44:29.054
But this line, um, it says, well, I'm through watching you skate around the truth because I I know it sounds trite, but I've seen the light.

00:44:29.461 --> 00:44:38.713
Amen tripe but I've seen the light amen the fact that it was always.

00:44:40.914 --> 00:44:41.719
I'm not an addict.

00:44:41.719 --> 00:44:48.559
I don't need help, when the truth of the matter is that's exactly what she needed.

00:44:48.559 --> 00:44:52.085
It's exactly what she needed was the help.

00:44:53.079 --> 00:44:57.672
There was a foundation of lies your whole life, you know.

00:44:57.751 --> 00:45:03.331
Yeah, and this was just one more of them, unfortunately.

00:45:03.331 --> 00:45:28.193
So to close out the song, they just go into the chorus and it's just Bye-bye, bye, love, I'll catch you later Got my lead foot down on the accelerator and my rear mirror torn off, because I'm never looking back, and that's a fact.

00:45:28.193 --> 00:45:46.155
Because I'm never looking back, and that's a fact I've tried all I can imagine and I've begged and pleaded in true lover's fashion and I've got pride and I'm taking it for a ride.

00:45:46.155 --> 00:45:50.260
And that's just what I did.

00:45:50.260 --> 00:46:02.873
I blared that song, I sung my heart out and I left it all on my way there.

00:46:02.873 --> 00:46:06.385
I opened my heart.

00:46:06.385 --> 00:46:12.295
I truly feel I opened my heart while singing this song, preparing myself for what I was about to walk into.

00:46:12.295 --> 00:46:22.525
I'm sure, because everything in this song has literally just summarized everything.

00:46:22.525 --> 00:46:23.547
That's the power of music.

00:46:24.550 --> 00:46:28.646
It truly is it absolutely is.

00:46:28.646 --> 00:46:35.302
You never know when it's going to hit you, you never know what song it's going to hit you.

00:46:35.302 --> 00:46:35.623
You never know.

00:46:35.623 --> 00:46:36.385
You know what song it's going to be.

00:46:36.385 --> 00:46:40.538
But it's crazy that you could just be having a normal run of the mill sunny day.

00:46:40.538 --> 00:46:41.320
You know what I mean.

00:46:41.581 --> 00:46:41.842
Yeah.

00:46:41.981 --> 00:46:45.210
And that right song hits you and pops you right between the blinkers.

00:46:45.210 --> 00:46:52.914
You know so for that song to come to you in that moment, like the scene was set right, Go, rest high.

00:46:52.914 --> 00:46:54.646
Let's start painting the picture.

00:46:54.646 --> 00:46:57.088
Let's tap into all the feels, all the emotions.

00:46:57.219 --> 00:46:57.621
And the next thing.

00:46:57.641 --> 00:47:08.898
You know we're going to rip off the rear view mirror as you're headed to this session, where your main objective is to get everything off your chest and say what needs to be said yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:47:08.918 --> 00:47:12.965
And say what needs to be said yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:47:12.965 --> 00:47:33.530
And as soon as I pulled into Missy's house I don't know I felt heavy again because I knew what I was about to walk into but I didn't know at what degree.

00:47:33.530 --> 00:47:43.447
So when I walked in, missy did checks and balances and you know asking me how I'm doing, and I explained to her.

00:47:43.447 --> 00:47:45.753
I'm really heavy right now.

00:47:45.753 --> 00:47:57.905
I left here feeling free the first time around and I'm hoping that that happens again free the first time around and I'm hoping that that happens again.

00:47:57.905 --> 00:48:02.873
So, um, we went into the room and she had me sit, um, in the chair this time, which I wasn't sure what I was walking in on.

00:48:02.873 --> 00:48:13.793
Uh, normally she has me sit on the massage bed, but she actually had the table set out with she was burning some sage.

00:48:13.793 --> 00:48:21.449
She also had all of her stones picked out in a perfect line which was for all the chakras.

00:48:21.449 --> 00:48:33.914
So she took the time to explain to me kind of what the process was going to be and then, before we got started, she lit a white candle and and left it there on the table.

00:48:33.914 --> 00:48:37.264
Um, so what we were looking at.

00:48:38.286 --> 00:48:52.170
Um, she was very transparent with me that, um, she was going to journey uh, that's what they call it um to the upper world and see if, uh, my mom would be willing to join us.

00:48:52.170 --> 00:49:03.733
There's a true possibility that she was not going to be able to join us because she wasn't ready or didn't want to be a part of this healing.

00:49:03.733 --> 00:49:23.233
I had my doubts, but I also had that last ounce of hope that I couldn't help her in any of the way, but maybe she'd be willing to help me.

00:49:23.233 --> 00:49:36.744
I knew in my first session that she had joined us and she was angry, so I hoped that maybe, just maybe, she would join us in this session as well.

00:49:36.744 --> 00:49:44.702
There was more doubt there than there was hope, to be honest.

00:49:47.005 --> 00:49:50.588
So Missy explains to me that she'll go through.

00:49:50.588 --> 00:50:12.273
If Angel decides to join us, she will go through each one of her chakras and clear them out, clear any voids, and this opportunity will help her and I close this chapter heal and it will also give her the opportunity to transition over.

00:50:12.273 --> 00:50:30.472
If she hasn't, if she's not completely free at this point In my heart of hearts, I feel as if she had quite a bit of work here to do before she had the ability to join her dad, her mom, her brothers upstairs.

00:50:30.472 --> 00:50:32.106
That's the way that I look at it.

00:50:32.106 --> 00:50:35.844
So I wasn't sure what the scenario was going to be.

00:50:35.844 --> 00:50:53.675
So we get into it and I'm sitting in the chair, crisscross, and I feel on my shoulders as if someone has just put a 10-pound heavy-weighted blanket on my shoulders.

00:50:53.675 --> 00:51:08.561
I knew moments after we started to meditate that she was here.

00:51:10.344 --> 00:51:11.206
That's going to be.

00:51:11.206 --> 00:51:16.570
I don't even know how to.

00:51:16.570 --> 00:51:30.411
I can just imagine how difficult, how emotional, how heavy, how just angry, all the emotions that's going to be so difficult to go through.

00:51:31.425 --> 00:51:38.849
Surprisingly, I didn't feel any sort of emotion, except for acceptance.

00:51:38.849 --> 00:51:55.938
Acceptance as I'm sitting there and I'm meditating, I took this weight on my shoulders with the intention that I was going to leave this weight behind when I left this room.

00:51:55.938 --> 00:52:24.039
Okay, I took the entire time feeling into that intention of freedom, growth being enough, the entire time that I was meditating, waiting for Missy to tell me that she had joined us.

00:52:24.606 --> 00:52:31.831
And this goes back to last week's episode in your first session where you were saying that you never felt like you were enough Correct.

00:52:31.831 --> 00:52:42.552
So you're leaning into like I am enough, yes, and you're leaning into the freedom, like the 555, all the inspirational stuff that's coming to you, like I'm going to free myself of this.

00:52:42.552 --> 00:52:44.954
I'm going to leave this behind me and I am enough.

00:52:44.954 --> 00:52:47.052
So you're focusing on that.

00:52:47.324 --> 00:52:52.918
I'm manifesting all of that good vibes, all of those good energy, because I deserve it.

00:52:52.918 --> 00:53:10.184
So that's what I am leaning into this as I'm waiting for my turn, for my turn.

00:53:10.184 --> 00:53:12.469
So as this weight starts to feel heavier, I can tell that she's now joined the room with Missy.

00:53:12.469 --> 00:53:23.818
Missy has not said a word to me yet, she's still manifesting, but she starts to move her rattle.

00:53:23.818 --> 00:53:42.452
At that moment Missy had started with her crown chakra, so we're moving from the top, from the head, all the way down to the foot, to the feet.

00:53:42.452 --> 00:53:48.411
She had started at her crown chakra and I knew she was here.

00:53:48.831 --> 00:53:58.231
Not only the weight, but, if you remember, in my last episode my throat chakra was very was cleared.

00:53:58.231 --> 00:54:03.119
I instantly felt like there was a frog in my throat.

00:54:03.119 --> 00:54:14.554
So not only do I have this weight on my shoulders, but I have this like almost, like you have to like hard gulp, like something is stuck in my throat.

00:54:14.554 --> 00:54:27.193
So as soon as Missy started to move down and got to her throat chakra and her heart chakra, that became loose.

00:54:27.193 --> 00:54:30.130
For me, weight is still there.

00:54:32.706 --> 00:54:58.295
So that to me, as I'm manifesting this good vibes and I'm manifesting what I need to say to her and I'm manifesting what I need to say to her, because this is my last and final opportunity for me to share with her, in this secret, safe space, how I feel and put all the words out that I have never been able to say to her, or I have tried to say to her and she's dismissed me.

00:54:58.295 --> 00:55:01.934
So that's what I am thinking about this entire time.

00:55:01.934 --> 00:55:11.054
As soon as Missy is completely cleared my mom's throat chakra, I can breathe again.

00:55:11.054 --> 00:55:14.844
I can feel that that has been released.

00:55:14.844 --> 00:55:32.806
So my only hope is that she is willing to talk to me, as I'm willing to talk to her in this moment okay so she gets to the, the root chakra, which is another one of the ones that she's actually cleared from me.

00:55:35.007 --> 00:55:51.530
And that is when, uh, my mom comes forward and says to missy, because I am talking, going to have the ability to talk to my mom through missy, so missy's gone.

00:55:51.550 --> 00:55:54.416
You physically speak or are you just thinking these things?

00:55:54.436 --> 00:56:01.659
nope, I physically speak them out loud and she physically speaks back to me anything that my mom wants to relay to me.

00:56:01.659 --> 00:56:06.510
Very similar to having a conversation basically yes through her.

00:56:06.610 --> 00:56:12.592
Almost like you know, she's interpreting everything back like an interpreter or like a deaf person.

00:56:12.813 --> 00:56:17.967
Basically okay yeah, it's mediumship, just like um kato the medium okay very similar.

00:56:17.967 --> 00:56:28.161
So as soon as we get to that part, missy says she's joined us, she's here.

00:56:28.161 --> 00:56:29.831
What would you like to say?

00:56:30.085 --> 00:56:34.195
That moment, just hearing that and knowing that, I think I probably shit my pants.

00:56:34.195 --> 00:56:34.996
You know what I mean.

00:56:34.996 --> 00:56:39.835
That's got to be so just heavy.

00:56:39.835 --> 00:56:41.311
I don't even know how to say it, you know.

00:56:43.827 --> 00:56:45.117
Yeah, just heavy, I don't even know how to say it.

00:56:45.117 --> 00:56:46.003
You know, yeah, it was.

00:56:46.003 --> 00:56:54.469
I could feel her presence in the room because of the weight and the throat chakra, but to have Missy come out and say it.

00:56:55.344 --> 00:56:57.894
You might be faking it, but this is confirmation.

00:57:00.010 --> 00:57:04.431
She basically explained to me she's here, she's here, she's in this room with us.

00:57:04.431 --> 00:57:06.891
What do you have to say?

00:57:08.527 --> 00:57:09.351
How do you start that?

00:57:12.666 --> 00:57:22.331
I had so much in my head that I wanted to say at that moment, and it was like uh.

00:57:22.331 --> 00:57:23.952
I'm sure, and it was like.

00:57:25.335 --> 00:57:29.460
I have so much to say to you, but I don't know how to start it.

00:57:29.460 --> 00:58:01.753
And I don't know where to start, so the first thing that came to my mind is I'm sorry.

00:58:01.753 --> 00:58:08.257
I'm sorry that this battle won for you.

00:58:08.257 --> 00:59:00.630
I said I wish in my heart that she was strong enough to overcome this, and from there I feel as though I was in such a state of meditation and guidance from my spirits, from my loved ones, who have passed on that, to be completely honest with you, I don't remember it all.

00:59:00.972 --> 00:59:01.152
Yeah.

00:59:04.586 --> 00:59:24.833
I know for certain that I told her that I was disappointed in her actions and that I did tell her that she hurt me a lot, and she apologized.

00:59:24.833 --> 00:59:28.773
She said to me that she was sorry.

00:59:28.773 --> 00:59:34.632
Sorry that she wasn't strong enough.

00:59:51.525 --> 00:59:55.009
She said she wasn't good enough she didn't think that she was good enough.

00:59:55.009 --> 01:00:16.849
It's um so ironic and heartbreaking at the same time that her answer to things was that she didn't think she was good enough, when the one thing that you felt like you struggled with your entire life was not feeling like you were good enough.

01:00:16.849 --> 01:00:20.213
Yeah, so her feelings about herself.

01:00:20.213 --> 01:00:23.780
She projected onto you your entire childhood.

01:00:24.039 --> 01:00:24.179
Yep.

01:00:24.625 --> 01:00:31.559
But you were strong enough to remove yourself and convince yourself that you are enough.

01:00:31.559 --> 01:00:37.054
You know she wasn't strong enough to do that, but I didn't even know that she had said this.

01:00:37.054 --> 01:00:51.954
I'm hearing this for the first time, but the first thing I can think about is that here you are last week saying that you never felt like you were enough, and here she is saying that like she never felt like she was good enough.

01:00:52.936 --> 01:00:53.157
Yeah.

01:00:53.639 --> 01:00:59.195
That, if you take out of this whole scenario, should be a lesson for people, whether it's addiction or not.

01:00:59.195 --> 01:01:06.615
That says some of the things in life that we struggle with, the things that you know we fight with.

01:01:06.615 --> 01:01:09.965
Without knowing it, you're projecting it on your kids.

01:01:09.965 --> 01:01:25.456
Without knowing it, you're projecting it on to loved ones, and that in itself is a cautionary tale right there, and I think that it should serve as kudos to you for being able to break the cycle of that too.

01:01:25.456 --> 01:01:26.197
You know what I mean.

01:01:27.179 --> 01:01:28.701
Yeah, it's not easy.

01:01:28.701 --> 01:02:12.577
So following that, she shared with me something that I found rather interesting and I just want to put out there that some people may not believe in mediumships and some people may not believe in the ability to talk to the times during this that Missy validated that it was my mom in ways that Missy has no idea that she validated it was my mom.

01:02:12.577 --> 01:02:25.795
So as we're in the thick of it, my mom comes forward and says they're going to give me a second chance.

01:02:28.706 --> 01:02:30.210
She said you're going to give me.

01:02:30.210 --> 01:02:31.534
Is that what you said?

01:02:31.835 --> 01:02:36.635
No, they are going to give me a second chance.

01:02:37.115 --> 01:02:37.317
Huh.

01:02:39.206 --> 01:03:06.173
And I stopped and I thought about that for a moment and without even a filter, because y'all know me by now I said I hope you're right and I hope this time you make better choices hey, you gave a hundred chances, so you're not lying yep.

01:03:07.876 --> 01:03:31.376
Following that statement, she said to me I'm with my dad I wonder if she's making the statement that they are going to give me a second chance, as in the family that she's had severed ties with when she was here.

01:03:31.376 --> 01:03:32.259
You know what I mean.

01:03:32.259 --> 01:03:36.331
I wonder if her dad and her mom Nana Pegg stuff like that.

01:03:36.331 --> 01:03:38.496
I wonder if that's, I can only hope Nana Peg stuff like that.

01:03:38.496 --> 01:03:39.317
I wonder if that's.

01:03:40.940 --> 01:03:41.701
I can only hope.

01:03:42.485 --> 01:03:43.449
And you know.

01:03:43.449 --> 01:03:52.909
Thankfully, at this point we're hearing that she has transitioned over, because we know, and I guess it would connect the dots right Because the week previous she hadn't.

01:03:52.909 --> 01:04:04.096
And now she's saying they're going to give me a second chance, so maybe that's part of the process of transitioning to heaven and she's been granted this opportunity.

01:04:04.096 --> 01:04:04.967
I guess, I don't know.

01:04:04.967 --> 01:04:11.632
I mean, here we are just trying to put it together, but yeah there's multiple ways for us to kind of dissect this situation.

01:04:11.771 --> 01:04:29.614
It's a possibility that you know they're going to give her a second chance to rejoin us in another maybe she's she's reincarnated, Maybe she yeah, or to your point, maybe they're going to give her a second chance and she's going to be able to join with her dad.

01:04:30.746 --> 01:04:31.931
I can only hope either way.

01:04:31.931 --> 01:05:04.369
But my words to her were I hope you make better choices this next time around, time around.

01:05:04.369 --> 01:05:06.117
So there was so much said and so much left on the table from my point.

01:05:06.117 --> 01:05:07.585
Very, very limited information was given to me from Angel's side.

01:05:10.952 --> 01:05:14.376
And that's because that's how our conversations were, so even now.

01:05:14.398 --> 01:05:32.853
Nothing's changed, no, Except for the fact that I finally had the opportunity to shed this heartache and shed all that I've been holding on to for so long, just bottled up inside.

01:05:32.853 --> 01:05:41.518
I had the opportunity to tell her anything and everything that I wanted to say.

01:05:41.518 --> 01:05:45.987
Not once was I interrupted, not once was I interrupted, not once was I told.

01:05:45.987 --> 01:05:49.112
None of this is true.

01:05:49.112 --> 01:05:50.976
Not once was I told.

01:05:50.976 --> 01:05:56.007
You're lying, fuck you.

01:05:56.007 --> 01:05:57.168
None of that.

01:05:57.168 --> 01:06:33.836
It was me spilling my heart and she was just there in the room, present to hear what I have to say, and I wish that I could remember all that I said, because there was some healing in that, because the entire time that I am spilling my heart out, I just have tears just rolling down my face, the entire time, because the little girl inside of me had so much to say.

01:06:36.382 --> 01:06:40.552
I didn't prepare anything to, I didn't write anything, I didn't prepare anything.

01:06:40.552 --> 01:06:51.099
I just ripped the band-aid off and just let it all out.

01:06:51.099 --> 01:07:00.505
All of it Left nothing unsaid, good, bad or otherwise.

01:07:00.505 --> 01:07:08.525
Whether she wanted to hear it or not, she heard it.

01:07:08.525 --> 01:07:14.860
So to validate one last time and again Missy doesn't know.

01:07:14.860 --> 01:07:21.224
My mom, and this is very important Missy said to me is there anything else that you'd like to tell her?

01:07:21.224 --> 01:07:43.936
And I said, yeah, I want you to tell her that I love her and I just sat there and cried as Missy finished wrapping up clearing her chakras.

01:07:50.126 --> 01:07:51.532
So Missy ended the session.

01:07:51.532 --> 01:08:11.760
And after she ended the session and sealed this healing with love and light, as she always says to me, she said I want to share something with you.

01:08:11.760 --> 01:08:20.197
I didn't want to say it during the session because I felt that it was rude.

01:08:20.197 --> 01:08:28.585
I laughed.

01:08:28.585 --> 01:08:33.009
I said sounds about right if it comes to my mom.

01:08:33.009 --> 01:08:36.612
I remember how she was rude to you at my last session.

01:08:36.612 --> 01:08:39.113
She says oh yeah.

01:08:39.113 --> 01:08:58.109
She said here too, some things just never change yeah the way my mom ended this session was.

01:08:59.291 --> 01:09:03.257
She said all right, right, that's enough.

01:09:03.257 --> 01:09:04.800
I've had enough.

01:09:04.800 --> 01:09:06.029
I've heard what I need to hear.

01:09:06.029 --> 01:09:07.012
I'm done here.

01:09:09.789 --> 01:09:13.113
It's the way she would have ended every conversation that wasn't going her way.

01:09:13.546 --> 01:09:14.890
Every conversation I had with her.

01:09:15.945 --> 01:09:27.497
Clearly, nothing's changed Nothing and the second chance that you've been granted you are going to piss away, unless whatever you said finally resonated.

01:09:28.127 --> 01:09:39.979
I can only hope Missy said I will let you know that when I asked you if there was anything else that you'd like to say and you said I love you and closed the healing.

01:09:39.979 --> 01:09:41.801
So you'd like to say, and you said I love you and closed the healing.

01:09:41.801 --> 01:09:47.128
She was off in the distance but she did yell.

01:09:47.128 --> 01:09:49.193
Tell her I love her.

01:09:53.583 --> 01:09:53.644
Wow.

01:09:56.984 --> 01:10:02.511
Moments during this session were validated that it was my mom.

01:10:02.872 --> 01:10:03.654
Without question.

01:10:05.358 --> 01:10:17.590
And that final wrap up, I said to Missy you don't know my mom, but that was her, yeah, and I thank you for that.

01:10:21.225 --> 01:10:31.292
It's almost as if she had shown up and just been sweet, innocent, understanding and apologetic, you could have said like, I don't think that was her.

01:10:31.292 --> 01:10:32.095
You know what I mean.

01:10:32.154 --> 01:10:46.820
Correct, correct I've learned so much during this process, a lot about myself, during this journey.

01:10:46.820 --> 01:10:58.569
What I've learned the most is that it's time to put myself first.

01:10:58.569 --> 01:11:02.934
To put myself first.

01:11:02.934 --> 01:11:30.773
It's time that I focus on my own mental health, my own well-being, because you can't fill anyone else's cup up if yours is empty, and I got to the point where I was running on fumes and I didn't have anything to give, but I'd sure as hell try, even if my cup was empty.

01:11:34.546 --> 01:11:51.752
Mental health is so important in every situation, from your job To your home life, just being a good human, your mental health is very, very important.

01:11:56.347 --> 01:12:09.914
So, with that being said, I have decided to put myself forward, to focus on being a better human all around, and I've decided that it's time for me to lean more towards my faith.

01:12:09.914 --> 01:12:24.217
I feel I have a real good connection with the spiritual side, my loved ones upstairs, and I pray to them constantly.

01:12:24.217 --> 01:12:45.860
When I need help, when I need guidance, I look for those numbers, those symbols, but I think there's something a little bit deeper on that and I think, now more than ever, I'm going to dig in a little bit deeper on my faith and find God during this journey.

01:12:45.860 --> 01:12:50.154
I've purchased a Bible.

01:12:50.154 --> 01:13:03.894
I've had one given to me and I'm going to see where this journey takes me, because I deserve this and I want to be the best mom that that little girl can have and she deserves.

01:13:03.894 --> 01:13:07.604
I think that's important.

01:13:07.604 --> 01:13:10.185
If nothing else.

01:13:10.185 --> 01:13:22.070
She deserves a strong-willed mom who can conquer all that I've been through and still come out on top.

01:13:32.095 --> 01:13:37.296
I think that's incredibly inspiring.

01:13:37.296 --> 01:13:50.542
I think that it's of the utmost importance the perspective that you've put on this, that you're going to do this first and foremost for you and you're going to do it for your daughter.

01:13:50.542 --> 01:14:09.860
You're going to lean into your faith, you're going to prioritize you, you're cutting out the negativity in life and the people and relationships that don't serve you, that drain you.

01:14:09.860 --> 01:14:13.091
You've learned so much.

01:14:13.091 --> 01:14:16.765
This stuff has all been put in a whole different perspective.

01:14:17.606 --> 01:14:29.671
You've made multiple connections since sharing your story and being bold enough and strong enough to come on here and say that you're going to lean into your faith over this.

01:14:29.671 --> 01:14:31.693
You didn't just purchase a Bible.

01:14:31.693 --> 01:14:32.774
You have a study Bible.

01:14:32.774 --> 01:14:52.662
You're dedicated to figuring things out and really understanding God and all the meanings and all the wisdom, and we're going to go on this journey together, because that's what I feel like healthy relationships do.

01:14:52.662 --> 01:15:19.275
And I just want to thank you for the past few weeks sharing your story, being courageous enough to share things from the heart, as they happened when you found out whether it be the news, the feeling and going through that there's no going back on that the power of sharing your emotions raw, as they happened.

01:15:19.275 --> 01:15:28.676
It's so beneficial for anybody that was listening and then continuing to do so with these Reiki sessions that you've had.

01:15:28.676 --> 01:15:42.194
I think there's a great deal of power and lesson and inspiration for people that have listened over the past few weeks and I'm so thankful that you did it and I'm so incredibly thankful that you're my wife and best friend.

01:15:43.385 --> 01:15:44.028
Thanks, Sonia.

01:15:44.028 --> 01:15:45.172
Are you trying to make me cry?

01:15:46.149 --> 01:15:48.430
You've already done that, but I'll throw this baby's toy at you.

01:15:48.430 --> 01:15:50.090
That's not very nice.

01:15:50.090 --> 01:15:51.787
It's soft, though it won't hurt you.

01:15:51.787 --> 01:15:53.012
It'll just break your concentration.

01:15:53.404 --> 01:16:11.016
Well, I appreciate you being here through it all, from learning my story to being a part of my story, to growing with me in this story, because Lord knows where I would be if it wasn't for you.

01:16:14.445 --> 01:16:15.851
I'm not going to take any credit for that.

01:16:15.851 --> 01:16:17.532
You did all the hard work.

01:16:17.532 --> 01:16:22.612
God put us in the right place at the right time and it was up to us to do the rest.

01:16:22.612 --> 01:16:23.094
You know.

01:16:25.405 --> 01:16:35.958
Yeah, I agree with you 110%, but I think that there's a little more to the story.

01:16:35.958 --> 01:17:10.095
I think if it wasn't for you a whole long time ago, shedding light on something as small as me smoking weed a whole long time ago, shedding light on something as small as me smoking weed a whole long time ago, I could have just been another statistic and we've talked about that on other podcast episodes and there was something about you that meant more to me than just some weed and therefore I knew that you were the focus.

01:17:10.095 --> 01:17:26.493
And if it wasn't for you standing by my side and also seeing the true potential that we had to grow, who knows where I'd be at this point.

01:17:26.493 --> 01:17:45.344
I could have just fallen in a rabbit hole like most statistics, and instead, here we are, growing, striving with our beautiful little family, and for that I'm super thankful striving with our beautiful little family and for that I'm super thankful.

01:17:49.024 --> 01:17:52.612
It's crazy to think how you know people's paths cross at the right time for the right reasons and how much of a difference that it makes.

01:17:52.811 --> 01:18:05.731
You know I think about some of the roads I was going down on my own as well, and who I could be and where I might be had I not tried to change my direction at the same time.

01:18:05.731 --> 01:18:13.845
You know we were talking about this with this story with Angel, that you know it's.

01:18:13.845 --> 01:18:17.213
We could get into it on another, another date.

01:18:17.213 --> 01:18:27.599
But I mean you have her phone and there's countless messages that were coming across from kids that you grew up with.

01:18:28.380 --> 01:18:30.331
Yeah, kids, I graduated school with.

01:18:30.945 --> 01:18:32.350
Not checking in on her.

01:18:32.932 --> 01:18:33.033
No.

01:18:34.185 --> 01:18:45.341
There is kids that you grew up with that were buying drugs from her, looking to get high with her, making cash transactions with her.

01:18:46.244 --> 01:18:51.417
There's contacts in her phone that say Allie's friend from high school.

01:18:51.417 --> 01:18:55.854
It doesn't say Allie.

01:18:55.854 --> 01:18:58.591
Let me rephrase that Allison's friend from high school.

01:18:58.591 --> 01:18:58.953
Yeah, Come on.

01:18:58.953 --> 01:19:00.082
Allison's friend from high school.

01:19:04.055 --> 01:19:04.417
Yeah, come on.

01:19:04.417 --> 01:19:12.610
When there's cash app transactions and you know all the names on there because you grew up with them, it just goes to show the life that you could have been living.

01:19:12.610 --> 01:19:13.635
You know what I mean.

01:19:13.944 --> 01:19:15.912
I have a hard time walking around town.

01:19:16.554 --> 01:19:16.734
Yeah.

01:19:18.105 --> 01:19:28.515
Because I'll tell you right now the thought of coming across any of them in person beforehand, before my healing journey.

01:19:28.515 --> 01:19:30.471
I would have blasted every single one of them, right?

01:19:30.511 --> 01:19:30.953
in the teeth.

01:19:32.926 --> 01:19:33.690
It still hurts.

01:19:33.690 --> 01:19:43.716
I don't have, I don't want to say I don't have the urge to punch them, but I don't like what's it do it do nothing you know what I mean nothing.

01:19:43.978 --> 01:19:53.247
You know their direction, you know their life, you know right, right what I love to smoke them oh, all day all day dust the brakes off them.

01:19:53.247 --> 01:19:58.612
You bet, you bet it's just crazy how um life works.

01:19:58.612 --> 01:19:59.512
And yeah, life works.

01:20:01.354 --> 01:20:20.038
There's some interesting conversations that I've seen on her phone and in her belongings that you're like, wow, those people are only in it for one reason and that's to get high.

01:20:20.864 --> 01:20:31.416
Another story for another day, unfortunately, but until then, thank you for everything, thank you for being bold and brave and sharing all this.

01:20:31.416 --> 01:20:32.524
I know it's going to make a difference.

01:20:32.524 --> 01:20:34.733
It's going to continue to make a difference because it already has.

01:20:34.733 --> 01:20:36.628
I'm proud of you.

01:20:37.131 --> 01:20:39.890
Thanks, thank you to everybody who's reached out.

01:20:39.890 --> 01:20:45.015
I appreciate that your kind words are forever grateful.

01:20:45.015 --> 01:21:03.134
This is not an easy time at all, but I'm taking it to the chin one day at a time and staying strong, and I'm about to bust open my Bible and figure out where God's going to take me this is a bumpy road and a buttercup.

01:21:03.134 --> 01:21:04.076
I'm buckled in.

01:21:04.537 --> 01:21:06.768
All right, Until the next time.

01:21:06.768 --> 01:21:10.596
Thank you for supporting our American dream.

01:21:12.512 --> 01:21:15.653
Not going to wash you filthy savage.

01:21:17.364 --> 01:21:19.287
That's it and that's all Biggie Smalls.

01:21:19.287 --> 01:21:45.409
If you're a Loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook.

01:21:45.409 --> 01:21:46.333
At Loud, proud American, proud american.

01:21:46.333 --> 01:21:47.278
Put the face page, as my mama calls it.

01:21:47.278 --> 01:21:48.845
If you're a fan of the graham cracker, you want to find me on instagram.

01:21:48.845 --> 01:21:55.538
Or all the kids by tickety talking on the tiktok you can find me on both of those.

01:21:55.538 --> 01:22:00.511
At loud, underscore, proud, underscore American.

01:22:00.511 --> 01:22:16.690
A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song for this year's podcast.

01:22:16.690 --> 01:22:21.333
If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook.

01:22:40.296 --> 01:22:45.621
Just search Gut Truckers, give them motherfuckers a like too.

01:22:45.701 --> 01:22:48.462
I truly thank you for supporting my American dream.

01:22:48.462 --> 01:22:51.274
Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.