April 30, 2025

Breaking Free: A Journey Through Shamanic Reiki 251

Breaking Free: A Journey Through Shamanic Reiki 251
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Alli returns to share her healing journey after opening up about her mother's tragic loss to addiction and suicide last week.

• Sharing raw, vulnerable stories in real-time speeds up healing and can help others find their own path forward
• Multiple listeners reached out after last week's episode to share their own struggles and some even requested to share their stories on the podcast
• Alli explains she's "good" because the hard part - the constant worry about her mother - is over, allowing her to finally heal and grow
• Shamanic Reiki healing combines traditional Reiki energy healing with shamanic practices to restore balance and replace negative energies
• During her healing session, Alli worked through blocked chakras, particularly the throat chakra where she carried unexpressed feelings
• The session revealed surprising symbols including an anteater as her spirit animal, connecting to real-life events like an ant infestation appearing in their home the day of her mother's passing
• Alli's mother's spirit appeared during the session angry that Alli was healing, but the practitioner protected the healing space
• The freedom Alli feels after her healing sessions comes from releasing the weight of anger, hurt, and disappointment she carried

If you're struggling with loss or trauma, consider exploring alternative healing modalities alongside traditional therapy - they may provide powerful breakthroughs on your journey toward healing and freedom.


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00:00 - Allie's Return After Sharing Her Story

10:21 - The Purpose Behind Sharing Personal Struggles

18:02 - The Ripple Effect of Vulnerability

28:42 - The Hard Part Is Over

35:10 - Understanding Shamanic Reiki Healing

48:15 - Working Through Blocked Chakras

01:06:02 - Soul Retrieval and Spirit Guides

01:16:24 - The Anteater and Cosmic Signs

WEBVTT

00:00:03.085 --> 00:00:17.652
Last week my wife shared a sensitive and emotional story, a transparent tale from childhood to adulthood, outlining abuse and addiction, the effects on oneself and family, with an all-too-familiar ending.

00:00:17.652 --> 00:00:22.030
Allie shared her heartbreaking story in hopes to make a difference.

00:00:22.030 --> 00:00:31.408
This week she's back to pick up the pieces and share a powerful alternative way to heal and build strength and peace.

00:00:31.408 --> 00:00:35.006
Let me tell you something Everybody struggles.

00:00:35.006 --> 00:00:40.508
The difference is some people choose to go through it and some choose to grow through it.

00:00:40.508 --> 00:00:42.908
The choice is completely yours.

00:00:42.908 --> 00:00:48.832
Which one you choose will have a very profound effect on the way you live your life.

00:00:48.832 --> 00:00:56.514
If you find strength in the struggle, then this podcast is for you.

00:00:58.680 --> 00:01:03.453
Do you have a relationship that is comfortable with uncomfortable conversations?

00:01:03.453 --> 00:01:09.167
Uncomfortable conversations challenge you, humble you and they build you.

00:01:09.167 --> 00:01:14.165
When you sprinkle a little time and distance on it, it all makes sense.

00:01:14.165 --> 00:01:19.311
Most disagreements, they stem from our own insecurities.

00:01:19.311 --> 00:01:23.602
You are right where you need to be.

00:01:23.602 --> 00:01:45.963
What it do, what it hot, diddy-dee-doo.

00:01:45.963 --> 00:01:46.465
Good lo, almighty.

00:01:46.465 --> 00:01:50.112
Am I so excited to be back with you?

00:01:50.112 --> 00:01:53.831
Oh, it's true, it is damn true.

00:01:53.831 --> 00:02:01.650
I'm excited to be back this week because, as you heard in the opener, I am not alone this week.

00:02:01.650 --> 00:02:09.972
I am yet again joined by my beautiful bride, but I'm also accompanied by my beautiful little daughter over there.

00:02:09.972 --> 00:02:11.448
Look at her going strong.

00:02:12.375 --> 00:02:13.080
She wanted to party.

00:02:13.120 --> 00:02:21.828
Babe, we thought it was bedtime for the little beautiful one, but she had another idea, didn't she?

00:02:21.828 --> 00:02:22.008
Dia?

00:02:22.461 --> 00:02:24.125
I think you had another idea.

00:02:24.125 --> 00:02:25.108
What are you talking about?

00:02:25.108 --> 00:02:25.971
She heard you.

00:02:25.971 --> 00:02:30.489
You had your headphones on and you were checking your mic and she heard you.

00:02:31.270 --> 00:02:34.008
Yeah, now she's ready to look.

00:02:34.008 --> 00:02:37.168
She's over there staring at me down now.

00:02:37.168 --> 00:02:39.805
It's okay, dia.

00:02:39.805 --> 00:02:43.830
Does Daddy look funny with a headset on, talking into a Mickey food?

00:02:43.830 --> 00:02:47.647
She has to be a part of everything.

00:02:47.647 --> 00:02:55.030
Our little girl has the greatest case of FOMO that there's ever been identified on record.

00:02:55.030 --> 00:02:57.973
Am I right?

00:02:58.433 --> 00:02:59.575
Oh yeah, For sure.

00:03:01.001 --> 00:03:05.472
Well, I want to say a couple of things before we get rocking and rolling today.

00:03:05.472 --> 00:03:07.485
Number one welcome back.

00:03:08.228 --> 00:03:08.871
Thank you.

00:03:09.180 --> 00:03:10.747
I feel like we're setting a streak here.

00:03:10.747 --> 00:03:15.229
We've been going for a few weeks now and it makes my job a lot easier.

00:03:15.229 --> 00:03:18.205
Other than talking to myself, this is quite a bit more enjoyable.

00:03:18.205 --> 00:03:31.025
Number two I want to say thank you for being bold enough to share stories that you might find embarrassing, difficult, heart-wrenching.

00:03:31.025 --> 00:03:42.834
To be so completely transparent and share everything that was happening to you raw and in real time, took an incredible amount of courage and strength.

00:03:42.834 --> 00:03:50.366
An incredible amount of courage and strength, and I'm so proud of you.

00:03:50.385 --> 00:04:07.822
I think that for anybody listening, it should be heard as encouragement that if you are bold enough to share the stuff that you're going through raw and as it happens, as opposed to bottling it up, suppressing your story and your emotions, it's going to speed up your ability to heal.

00:04:07.822 --> 00:04:18.750
It's also going to give you the ability to maybe help somebody else heal, and I know, after all, that we heard last week you absolutely helped other people heal.

00:04:18.750 --> 00:04:39.951
So I want to say thank you for being the courageous woman that you are and you were able to come on here and bare your soul, and it was a all gloves off, just story session that turned into two hours of a heartfelt emotion that I know made a difference, so great job thank you.

00:04:39.992 --> 00:05:00.829
It definitely wasn't, uh, easy turning on the microphone, um and just spilling my heart out, but it was time to just grip it and rip it and take the band-aid right off and share with the people the story, my story, and I think it's important for me to share that.

00:05:00.829 --> 00:05:05.668
That way I can hopefully one day help somebody else.

00:05:05.668 --> 00:05:24.189
And I want to start the podcast off by thanking everyone who took the time to reach out to me and share their condolences, but also open their hearts up and share with me some of their stories.

00:05:24.189 --> 00:05:36.721
I had a few people reach out saying you know, I listened to your podcast, never knew any of the things that you had gone through, because I, too, mask it.

00:05:37.824 --> 00:05:42.793
I don't want my past history to write the story for the rest of my life.

00:05:42.793 --> 00:05:49.331
I want to use it as a stepping stone and I want to move forward and grow bigger.

00:05:49.331 --> 00:06:18.531
But I also want it to be a stepping stone for other people as well, and it was rather brave of these people to reach out to me and share their story as well, and I'm forever grateful that they found comfort in me to reach out, because that's what this whole podcast is about is, hopefully, that we can touch the lives of someone, and I don't care if it's one person or 100 people.

00:06:18.531 --> 00:06:27.980
That one person is enough for me and it has definitely touched some people and I'm super grateful for that.

00:06:27.980 --> 00:06:28.422
Um.

00:06:28.422 --> 00:06:39.672
So that's where I wanted to start this podcast, um, and I know you mentioned that we were going to dig in a little bit deeper on, um, how I've started my healing journey.

00:06:39.672 --> 00:06:40.420
Yeah, I think it's.

00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:42.744
Yeah a few things need to be outlined.

00:06:42.744 --> 00:06:48.475
Number one, going over the fact that you were bold enough to come on here and and share your story.

00:06:48.475 --> 00:06:52.451
As we've said many times before, we can repeat it every single week.

00:06:52.451 --> 00:06:55.088
The name of this podcast is share the struggle.

00:06:55.088 --> 00:07:09.785
We would be hypocritical to not come on here and share the greatest struggle in our everyday lives and I, just like you, turned on record for a very different situation when my dad passed.

00:07:09.785 --> 00:07:17.887
But we did everything raw and in real time, because I feel like that is when the emotion is the most impactful.

00:07:17.887 --> 00:07:30.312
You don't have time to reframe it in your mind, you don't have time to rephrase it and some sugar-coated, filter-fueled just response it is absolutely how your heart feels.

00:07:31.175 --> 00:07:38.120
It's the combination of what your mind is thinking and what your heart is breaking, and you just put it out there, you speak it into existence.

00:07:38.120 --> 00:07:40.947
That, to me, is the first step in healing.

00:07:41.408 --> 00:07:47.369
It allows you to get your story told, to get things off your chest and it'll live on forever for you to always go back to.

00:07:47.369 --> 00:07:52.346
I think it's tremendous for anybody that's going through things, growing through things.

00:07:52.346 --> 00:08:01.360
I highly recommend you save them and get them off your chest immediately, otherwise we suppress our emotions and that's when people end up depressed.

00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:09.619
That's when people end up, you know, battling these things for years, because they didn't just speak it into existence, they didn't just get it out there.

00:08:09.619 --> 00:08:10.120
You know what I mean.

00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:15.291
People hide these emotions and it holds them back, and that's not what we want.

00:08:15.291 --> 00:08:19.588
So I encourage everybody and anybody to speak it as they feel it.

00:08:19.588 --> 00:08:47.341
Number two, to back up what you were just saying, you heard from a great deal of people and I did as well and it revealed stories of people and their background that we never knew, because your journey, your struggle, just as you said, you don't want that to define you, so you haven't shared that with everybody which there's many, many, many more layers to your story and the stuff that you went through.

00:08:47.341 --> 00:08:54.326
We didn't come on here and just pour out every chapter in the book of all the nonsense that you had to deal with in life.

00:08:54.567 --> 00:08:57.620
And that wasn't what the podcast episode was about.

00:08:57.620 --> 00:09:05.490
It was about me getting my story out there to share with you the loss of my mother.

00:09:06.530 --> 00:09:19.801
It was the way, the necessary way to paint the picture, to hopefully draw the emotion from the listener to understand the impact that addiction has.

00:09:20.221 --> 00:09:35.467
Yeah, and I also wanted to shed light on my story, because for me to come on here and just say to you real, raw and honest, my mom committed suicide due to addiction.

00:09:35.467 --> 00:09:45.726
Automatically, that's going to for me, if I was a listener, draw so many red flags and be like, well, why weren't you there for her, why didn't you support her?

00:09:45.726 --> 00:09:54.047
Why didn't you take her to rehab so for me to paint my picture and all that I attempted to do for her?

00:09:54.047 --> 00:10:01.044
You understand that I was there for her in ways that I offered help and support.

00:10:01.044 --> 00:10:19.854
So that was the main reason for me hopping on this podcast and sharing my story, because that's what we've done Anytime we've lost someone very close to us, because this is our way of healing, this is our therapy is hopping on the microphone and explaining to everybody in hopes that we can.

00:10:19.854 --> 00:10:22.138
We have a track record of doing this right in hopes that we can.

00:10:22.158 --> 00:10:26.587
We have a track record of doing this right, we're not singling out somebody's story.

00:10:26.587 --> 00:10:31.168
We have a track record of healing and hoping that people can learn from loss.

00:10:31.168 --> 00:10:34.048
As you were saying, we shared Meme's story on here.

00:10:34.048 --> 00:10:39.653
We shared your uncle's funeral that we went to right.

00:10:39.653 --> 00:10:41.167
I think that was your uncle right.

00:10:41.167 --> 00:10:48.284
Megan's father, so your cousin or I'm not sure how that family scenario breaks down, but we shared that story.

00:10:48.284 --> 00:10:54.705
My brother, Dennis, my father, we talked the entire time through that whole struggle and that journey.

00:10:54.725 --> 00:10:55.548
We talked about Nana.

00:10:56.450 --> 00:10:56.890
Exactly.

00:10:56.890 --> 00:10:59.124
We've talked about Nana, your Nana Peg.

00:10:59.124 --> 00:11:06.985
I shared stories of my grandmother my grandfather, one of my best friends and my brother dealing all those losses two of my brothers.

00:11:06.985 --> 00:11:09.716
We've talked about suicide on here before.

00:11:09.716 --> 00:11:12.705
I've had an episode where the local athletic director took his life.

00:11:12.705 --> 00:11:17.003
We've had conversations about a mutual friend of ours committing suicide.

00:11:17.003 --> 00:11:26.899
We've had multiple conversations, because these are things that we are going through, that we are growing through and that if we share our story through them, people shall find strength.

00:11:26.899 --> 00:11:39.990
If anybody has a problem with that, turn off the podcast, put on your big girl panties, big boy pants, and move the fuck on Like I don't have the patience for it, because this is your story, your struggle, our journey.

00:11:39.990 --> 00:11:52.966
These are the things we've always said and those are the things we will continue to say, even my little daughter's chiming in our little girl is putting her two cents in right now you

00:11:53.008 --> 00:11:54.071
tell us your story.

00:11:54.976 --> 00:12:02.690
But to get back on track here, we've heard from people that shared some of their struggles that we didn't even know they struggled with.

00:12:02.690 --> 00:12:11.980
But to make another layer of amazement on this, we've had people come to you and say, okay, I think I'm ready to share my story.

00:12:12.162 --> 00:12:15.801
Yeah, we've had a bunch of people actually reach out and say they want to be on the podcast.

00:12:15.801 --> 00:12:17.184
That's unbelievable.

00:12:17.865 --> 00:12:20.653
Just because of this one, episode, just because of this one episode.

00:12:20.653 --> 00:12:31.611
Yeah, we have so many people that are reaching out saying I think I need to share my story yeah, that's what this is about absolutely for any backlash dog, shit, bullshit.

00:12:31.611 --> 00:12:34.403
You know back riff you ever get from this.

00:12:34.403 --> 00:12:46.494
Please understand, there's people out there that were moved by your story so much so that they are willing to be transparent and share their stories, some people we've never even met before.

00:12:46.514 --> 00:12:48.650
I was just going to say one of these people we don't even know.

00:12:48.650 --> 00:13:06.990
She listened to the story because a friend of ours, who we only met through you selling merch, reached out to me A little layer of Loud Pod America and she wants to do something on the side as well as being on our podcast and explaining her her story.

00:13:06.990 --> 00:13:31.591
And then she went and shared it with a friend who lost, um, someone very close to her to addiction and it is truly amazing and heartfelt to me to hear these stories that they trust me to share them with me and that they want to share them with, with the listeners and hopes that they can.

00:13:32.381 --> 00:13:34.080
It's it's incredible, absolutely.

00:13:34.080 --> 00:13:35.687
This is all we've ever could have hoped for.

00:13:35.687 --> 00:13:41.273
We are only one week in as of the time that this episode drops.

00:13:41.352 --> 00:13:41.513
Yeah.

00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:44.568
One week has passed and we've already heard from so many people.

00:13:44.850 --> 00:13:44.950
Yep.

00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:55.566
That is what happens when you throw that positive pebble into the ocean, when you start getting that positive ripple, that positive effect that is all you ever hoped for.

00:13:55.566 --> 00:14:21.082
If sharing that story can cause that ripple effect of more people wanting to share their story and we can build some positive momentum more people wanted to share their story and we can build some positive momentum maybe somehow, some way it makes a difference and it changes the direction for someone, for somebody to understand the impact their addiction has, the trickle down effect it has on others and the the unfortunate ending that it has for so many.

00:14:21.082 --> 00:14:27.134
Maybe sharing these stories is a way to curb what's been happening in this country.

00:14:27.760 --> 00:15:02.955
I actually heard from someone who I call Grammy Gale out in Georgia and she's not my real grandma, as you guys know, but she was actually my mom's best friend's mom while we were down in Georgia, okay, and she had seen my post on Instagram and reached out, and she had a hard time reaching out because of reading my post on how I explained everything.

00:15:02.955 --> 00:15:10.443
She was very moved by it in her words and it took her a long time to find the words to write back to me.

00:15:10.443 --> 00:15:39.360
And she is now dealing with her daughter, who was my mom's best friend with addiction Bad in addiction and I asked her to uh please share uh with with her um the the story Um, and I shared with her, uh, my episode and I asked her to please share it, um, and she was going to do just that.

00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:52.828
I haven't heard back, um, but for her to have somebody so close to her her best friend, um committing suicide, dealing with only pray, that that's right.

00:15:52.869 --> 00:16:01.311
Maybe something is that's a, that's such a direct, close layer for somebody to hear that and say, hey, this is my fate, unless I exactly.

00:16:02.011 --> 00:16:03.201
And I can only hope you're right.

00:16:03.201 --> 00:16:07.903
Um, my, my prayers go out to her family, because I know what she's dealing with.

00:16:07.903 --> 00:16:16.649
I know that Grammy Gale is sitting around waiting for that exact same phone call that I got, just like you were, exactly, and I know the pain that she's going through.

00:16:16.649 --> 00:16:23.350
Um, and I know that Grammy Gale has grandchildren, same as my brother.

00:16:23.350 --> 00:16:36.524
Uh, my brother and I, who have our mom, is addicted, uh, was addicted, so, um, I it's very close, like very close, uh, similarities yeah, they grew up together, so correct.

00:16:36.543 --> 00:16:39.397
I'm sure there's a lot of parallels there absolutely, absolutely.

00:16:39.417 --> 00:16:39.518
So.

00:16:39.518 --> 00:16:42.527
I can only hope that grammy gail will share um the story.

00:16:42.527 --> 00:16:57.004
She said she was um, you know, and uh, she explained to me that she is doing the same thing, that I am a very tough love um at a distance but um, you know, cares deeply um and wants to see nothing but the best.

00:16:57.004 --> 00:17:18.000
Um in the end result, uh, not being the same as ours Um, and you know her and I had that conversation where she asked me how I was doing Um, and it's always that question like how are you doing that?

00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:20.263
That comes up after after the loss.

00:17:20.263 --> 00:17:23.852
Um, it's always hard.

00:17:23.852 --> 00:17:24.673
How do you answer it?

00:17:24.673 --> 00:17:25.535
You know, how do you?

00:17:25.535 --> 00:17:29.321
How do you answer it without being disrespectful?

00:17:32.366 --> 00:17:42.928
And this loss is a little bit different for me and and I want to kind of dig into that a little bit I've had a ton of people reach out to me and ask me how I'm doing.

00:17:47.692 --> 00:18:14.866
It's really strange for me to explain this to you and to the listeners, but I'm good, I'm okay and, as hard as that may sound for a lot of people because I'm sure it is the hard part is over.

00:18:14.866 --> 00:18:28.971
The hard part of wondering if she's okay, the hard part of where she is the hard part of that gut-wrenching feeling when an unknown number comes up on your phone and you don't know if that's somebody asking you to come and identify the body.

00:18:28.971 --> 00:18:36.633
So, with those all behind me, I have the ability to heal.

00:18:36.633 --> 00:18:45.087
I have the ability to be free and grow and grow from here.

00:18:45.087 --> 00:18:59.913
I took the opportunity to take an appointment for Reiki shamanic healing on Wednesday, just a couple of days after my mom had taken her own life.

00:18:59.913 --> 00:19:12.731
I've trusted Missy, my Reiki instructor, for many different topics, and this appointment was more important to me.

00:19:12.731 --> 00:19:14.728
It was actually your suggestion.

00:19:15.601 --> 00:19:23.750
I've seen firsthand the power like the effect that it has on you, the ability that it has to help you heal.

00:19:23.750 --> 00:19:26.930
I had no clue what shamanic Reiki was.

00:19:26.930 --> 00:19:30.522
I actually had to Google it so if you're listening.

00:19:30.903 --> 00:19:35.885
Out there the desk Google, if you're listening and you're much like me and you have no clue what my wife's talking about.

00:19:35.885 --> 00:19:43.306
Shamanic Reiki combines the principles of Reiki and shamanism To enhance healing and well-being.

00:19:43.306 --> 00:19:54.393
It focuses on restoring balance, replacing negative energies with love and light and fostering connections with the self, others and the universe.

00:19:54.393 --> 00:20:06.452
Shamanic Reiki incorporates shamanic methods, including herbal remedies, extractions and soul retrievals, alongside Reiki life force energy healing.

00:20:06.452 --> 00:20:25.612
I guess Reiki is a Japanese healing technique that focuses on directing universal life force energy to promote healing and balance, and shamanism is a spiritual practice that taps into the power and wisdom of nature and expanded spiritual realities to support harmony and healing.

00:20:25.612 --> 00:20:28.728
It actually has a thing that breaks down the combination.

00:20:28.728 --> 00:20:35.826
Shamanic Reiki blends these two traditions, drawing upon the strengths of both to create a holistic healing approach.

00:20:35.826 --> 00:20:45.067
I've seen this work wonders for you and I've seen how much you believe in it.

00:20:45.067 --> 00:20:55.017
By the way, you share it with others or encourage people that are dealing with similar things to take advantage of Reiki.

00:20:55.902 --> 00:20:57.248
I have our cards in my car.

00:20:57.248 --> 00:20:59.608
I share with anybody and everyone.

00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:04.491
We've been at the saloon having drinks and I've heard you go on a tangent telling people about it.

00:21:04.491 --> 00:21:24.573
It always becomes an emotional conversation, but I knew that when you came home from work on that Monday, like the amount of hurt and pain that you had, yeah, that you needed to release that and just like you were saying, like the hard part is over, but it brought up that childhood, it brought up your adolescence, it brought up you know the abuse brought up your adolescence.

00:21:24.593 --> 00:21:25.819
It brought up the abuse and neglect.

00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:29.530
All those things came up and then you needed to release that.

00:21:29.530 --> 00:21:31.969
You can't just be walking around with all that.

00:21:31.969 --> 00:21:38.631
So that's why I suggested it, and I was excited that you were basically just all about going to do it.

00:21:38.891 --> 00:21:39.752
For sure, for sure.

00:21:39.752 --> 00:21:42.449
Yeah, no, I definitely am super grateful.

00:21:42.449 --> 00:21:56.329
It was definitely something that I was going to do at some point I didn't know how soon, but it just goes to show that our partnership is very in tune.

00:21:56.329 --> 00:22:02.490
For you to pick up on the fact that I needed that, I shared that with Missy and she was over the moon.

00:22:02.490 --> 00:22:06.875
She made you a whole loaf of sourdough bread homemade, delicious sourdough bread.

00:22:06.895 --> 00:22:07.799
That was a bonus.

00:22:09.384 --> 00:22:10.809
As her gratitude.

00:22:10.809 --> 00:22:14.868
Missy is phenomenal at what she does.

00:22:14.868 --> 00:22:29.842
She has helped me heal tons, tons.

00:22:29.842 --> 00:22:35.632
I can't even begin to explain to you how much healing she's done for me in the last four years that I've been working with her, the amount of work.

00:22:35.632 --> 00:22:46.067
I've explained it a little bit before that you know, going to one Reiki session can be the equivalent of a year or so of be the equivalent of a year or so of standard therapy.

00:22:46.067 --> 00:22:55.535
Um, because, as you were explaining um, shamanic Reiki focuses on uh energy and spirits.

00:22:55.535 --> 00:22:58.876
Um calls on uh animal spirit guides.

00:22:58.876 --> 00:23:10.788
Um also will call on, like your ancestors, uh anyone who can, really who's in the upper world.

00:23:10.788 --> 00:23:13.759
Uh, they can come down and help you and guide you through what you're going through.

00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:17.788
Um, and you have been, uh, you've listened to my sessions.

00:23:17.788 --> 00:23:24.740
I've come home and told you about them and had some some of the things that you brought home and we've talked about them on previous episodes.

00:23:24.839 --> 00:23:35.702
But you would bring up like um, something random and I'd be like, oh my god, that's your grandma's best friend, my grandma's best friend, that's my aunt terry yeah you just talked about, or these little random things and you're.

00:23:35.884 --> 00:23:49.306
We're gonna identify a few of them as you get going here but, there's always something that, like you might pick up on one part of it and then I'll hear something else in it, or you'll come home and be like who's this person?

00:23:49.306 --> 00:23:59.326
Like my mother will know, or like you do some research, and then you're like it's another family member that after some digging you figure out who she is, like what big nana or whatever it was.

00:23:59.326 --> 00:24:01.791
Yeah, people right so um, it's crazy.

00:24:01.791 --> 00:24:03.346
This stuff's definitely not um not made up.

00:24:03.346 --> 00:24:04.151
It's impossible.

00:24:04.151 --> 00:24:05.257
Yeah, there, stuff's definitely not made up.

00:24:05.278 --> 00:24:05.599
It's impossible.

00:24:05.599 --> 00:24:15.461
Yeah, there's definitely been some validations on a ton of opportunities that I've shared with Missy during my healing journey, and that's how I look at this.

00:24:15.461 --> 00:24:36.982
No matter whether it is the death of my mom, my meme, just going through some trauma of my own, mma, just going through some trauma of my own, missy has been there for me, in my corner, always there to guide me in the right direction.

00:24:36.982 --> 00:24:38.126
We go in and we, you know, work on.

00:24:38.126 --> 00:24:50.066
I go in there and I set some intentions and that's what we work on and that's exactly what happened when I reached out to her on Tuesday I think it was tuesday, it was either monday or tuesday, I think tuesday.

00:24:50.066 --> 00:24:55.166
You said it to me and I reached out to her because I went yes, because I went to work I see, yeah, yeah, right, yeah.

00:24:55.228 --> 00:25:01.596
You went to work the next day and then you, then you came home, yeah and you've had two appointments correct.

00:25:01.596 --> 00:25:07.497
But to let this breathe for everybody to understand, I think tonight we just focus on appointment one.

00:25:07.497 --> 00:25:18.433
Yeah, that's fine, and let people think about that and we can kind of set the expectation for appointment number two, so people can kind of digest all of it so that you know we don't.

00:25:19.236 --> 00:25:20.299
Word vomit on you.

00:25:20.380 --> 00:25:24.684
Yeah well, we could talk, for I don't want us to do another two hours, no, so we could talk for a long time on you.

00:25:24.684 --> 00:25:28.334
Yeah Well, we could talk, for I don't want us to do another two hours, so we could talk for a long time, but I think it's super powerful.

00:25:28.334 --> 00:25:32.284
Let's just focus on your first appointment and like your objectives going into that appointment.

00:25:32.785 --> 00:25:34.808
Yeah, absolutely so.

00:25:34.808 --> 00:25:40.365
Going in, I reached out to Missy and I just said listen, I need you more now than ever.

00:25:40.365 --> 00:25:42.869
This is what happened.

00:25:42.869 --> 00:25:47.363
My husband suggested that I make an appointment and I am 110% on board.

00:25:47.363 --> 00:25:50.930
I think now I need you.

00:25:52.413 --> 00:26:14.186
The amount of anger, hurt, disappointment that stemmed from finding out the news of her taking her own life brought back a lot of trauma from my childhood, but I also realized that it brought up trauma from when I lost my grandma who raised me.

00:26:14.186 --> 00:26:15.869
That brought up a lot.

00:26:15.869 --> 00:26:24.210
So I went into my appointment and explained to Missy this is what I'm dealing with.

00:26:24.210 --> 00:26:32.348
I'm dealing with a lot of hurt, I'm dealing with a lot of anger and I want to release this.

00:26:32.348 --> 00:26:36.621
Therefore, I can start the healing process and I can move forward.

00:26:36.621 --> 00:26:44.510
I need to be the best mom that I can be and I can't do that by holding on to this hurt.

00:26:44.510 --> 00:26:51.605
And when you walk into your appointment, that is the stepping stone.

00:26:51.605 --> 00:26:59.449
So you walk in there and you're like, all right, I word vomit on Missy and tell her this is what I'm dealing with, this is what I need to work on.

00:26:59.449 --> 00:27:11.048
These are the harsh words that we need to put on the plate and then at the end we need to come up with new words to rewrite the story, and that's the way that we look at it.

00:27:11.048 --> 00:27:45.230
So anger, hurt and disappointment were the three words, and then you find a statement or a reasoning why those are coming up and the reason for all three of those was I was never good enough and that hurts, that brings up trauma.

00:27:45.230 --> 00:27:54.972
Missy knows my story and she explains to me.

00:27:54.972 --> 00:28:10.461
I think this is going to be us going back to one of your first sessions and we're going to bring up the same topic, and this happens in Reiki a lot.

00:28:10.461 --> 00:28:40.440
You'll see those categories come up in different avenues because you're healing over the time, and so that was the intention was to remove that, remove that story of anger, hurt and that you are not good enough.

00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:45.541
So after we set those, we will.

00:28:45.561 --> 00:28:56.320
She'll lay out some stones and I pick a stone and you just gravitate at least I do to one specific stone and it's that stone that you just look at and it means something to you, like it, doesn't?

00:28:56.320 --> 00:28:59.568
You look at it and you're like that one catches my eye.

00:28:59.568 --> 00:29:11.020
There's a reason for it, reason for it.

00:29:11.020 --> 00:29:29.561
So you just point that out, you hand it to Missy, and then you hold onto the rock and you blow into the rock those hurtful words and that intention, and then what she'll do is you'll lay on the table and she'll start to basically just cleanse the room.

00:29:29.561 --> 00:29:41.106
She asks for the spirits and guides to come in and join us, she opens up the space and then she'll explain what the rock is.

00:29:41.106 --> 00:29:47.455
They don't have labels, they don't mean anything to anyone except for her.

00:29:49.321 --> 00:29:53.981
It's rather interesting because every time I pick a different one, she knows what that rock means and what it's for.

00:29:53.981 --> 00:30:03.044
So the rock that I had chosen was actually for my root chakra, which is located in your stomach area.

00:30:03.044 --> 00:30:12.987
And it's funny because when I chose that rock for this reason and she explains that to me I start to think back.

00:30:12.987 --> 00:30:30.568
All right, this makes sense, because anytime something would come up pertaining to angel, the wonder, the worry, anything like that, I would get an upset stomach, I would get sick, I would get nauseous, that sort of thing.

00:30:30.568 --> 00:30:34.105
That's where you carry it, that's where I'm carrying it.

00:30:34.105 --> 00:30:39.971
So rather interesting that that is how this happens.

00:30:41.661 --> 00:30:47.192
So she goes through and we just start, uh, meditating.

00:30:47.192 --> 00:31:04.284
I start meditating, um, trying to get into that safe space where I can ask uh, I'm not worried about anything, she knows my intention and I am just thinking into that intention, uh, thinking into the reason why I'm there, um, the anger, the hurt, the disappointment.

00:31:04.284 --> 00:31:08.170
And while I'm doing that she is.

00:31:08.170 --> 00:31:12.596
I'm laying on a bed and she is standing above me.

00:31:12.596 --> 00:31:24.729
I'm on a massage table, if that makes sense to anybody, and she will walk along me and try and figure out where my voids are.

00:31:25.410 --> 00:31:42.507
With this intention, it ends up being in my throat, which is very clear to me, because I could never get out what I needed to get out to tell Angel, because she would shut me off, she would turn me away.

00:31:42.507 --> 00:31:48.236
So anything that I had to say with her, say to her, would stop right here.

00:31:48.236 --> 00:32:01.929
The moment that Missy finds that, I immediately get this feeling as if something is stuck in my throat.

00:32:01.929 --> 00:32:05.881
Wow, because that's what it is.

00:32:05.881 --> 00:32:11.685
I'm stuck, I can't get out what I have to tell her.

00:32:11.685 --> 00:32:13.942
So it's stuck here.

00:32:13.942 --> 00:32:16.121
It's stuck.

00:32:24.875 --> 00:32:25.136
But what I?

00:32:25.136 --> 00:32:25.596
Oh yes, see, it's stuck.

00:32:25.596 --> 00:32:25.978
Here it's stuck.

00:32:25.978 --> 00:32:26.459
But what I?

00:32:26.459 --> 00:32:26.920
Oh yes, see, it's stuck.

00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:30.988
So we apologize for the we do not have daycare this evening and we need to get this episode out to you folks.

00:32:30.988 --> 00:32:36.647
So yes we're making the best of it and basically has to be the center of attention, always, always.

00:32:41.096 --> 00:32:47.026
So before we got to the throat I completely forgot we had cleared the root chakra.

00:32:47.026 --> 00:32:48.200
That was the first one.

00:32:48.200 --> 00:33:05.984
Missy was drawn to my throat chakra based on my intentions and what I was feeling into, but she knew this one was a little bit deeper than what we needed to work on with my root chakra.

00:33:05.984 --> 00:33:12.441
So she goes through and she does a cleansing of the chakras.

00:33:12.441 --> 00:33:14.704
I'm meditating the entire time.

00:33:14.704 --> 00:33:15.486
My eyes are closed.

00:33:15.625 --> 00:33:18.777
I don't know exactly what this looks like.

00:33:18.777 --> 00:33:41.700
I know it involves what looks to be a rattle and so she has a crystal and a maraca-looking rattle thing and she does a little like shaking of the maracas and she just does this spiritual dance I guess you could say.

00:33:41.700 --> 00:33:45.326
I've never actually kept my eyes open to watch.

00:33:45.326 --> 00:33:47.016
I feel like it's probably rude.

00:33:47.016 --> 00:34:02.999
So after she clears my root chakra she will actually take a crystal and she dangles it over the area and if it starts to move, that means my shock in a circle.

00:34:02.999 --> 00:34:04.803
That means my chakra is completely cleared.

00:34:04.803 --> 00:34:10.427
When she started it didn't move at all and that's how she knew that it was blocked.

00:34:10.668 --> 00:34:10.889
Okay.

00:34:11.833 --> 00:34:13.898
While she's going through trying to clear, clear my chakras.

00:34:13.898 --> 00:34:24.335
So then that's when she got to my throat and, like I said to you before, I felt like something was stuck in my throat.

00:34:24.335 --> 00:34:48.581
And when she started to clear and do this spiritual dance, as she's drawing out what's stuck, I couldn't help but just cry, and it was deep.

00:34:48.581 --> 00:34:57.639
I wasn't thinking about anything at that moment except for well, I mean, I was thinking about the hurt and the pain and all that I have been through.

00:34:57.639 --> 00:34:58.641
And here we are.

00:34:59.121 --> 00:35:00.184
This is the end result.

00:35:00.184 --> 00:35:13.657
I just had to release it and Missy saw the tears running down my eyes, down the side of my face, and she said let it out, don't hold it in.

00:35:13.657 --> 00:35:50.628
She could see that I was holding it in and that's why my chakra, my throat chakra, was already blocked, because I had held this in for so long that it was just an uncontrollable deep, ugly cry that came out of nowhere, because Missy is there drawing all of this negativity out of my throat, just drawing so much, and it took her like a little bit of time to draw out everything that had been sitting right there.

00:35:50.628 --> 00:35:54.784
And, if you think about it, so it's your throat, but it's also your chest.

00:35:55.125 --> 00:35:56.367
Yeah, and if you think, about it.

00:35:56.387 --> 00:36:09.925
So it's your throat, but it's also your chest, yeah, and I always feel as though I am carrying a huge weight on my shoulders.

00:36:09.925 --> 00:36:12.733
When it comes to the topic of Angel, again, we go back to wondering where she is.

00:36:12.733 --> 00:36:15.940
Is she fed, is she okay, is she being abused?

00:36:15.940 --> 00:36:30.659
So it's one of those things that not only do I have my throat chakra blocked because she would never hear me out or want to hear my story or what I have to say, it's also that weight.

00:36:30.659 --> 00:36:34.148
It's all in the same vicinity.

00:36:34.755 --> 00:36:50.219
It all makes sense even for as long as I've known you and known your relationship, because anytime you've ever tried to tell her reality, she would get to a point of like I've heard enough here dismiss me correct.

00:36:50.219 --> 00:37:01.188
You know, like I'm not listening to you, allison, you know, and that was yep, there's, unfortunately there's people in your life that I know you carry that weight for.

00:37:01.188 --> 00:37:04.483
Or you just don't let everything out.

00:37:04.844 --> 00:37:04.965
Yeah.

00:37:05.375 --> 00:37:25.990
You know, and it makes so much sense that, because you didn't tell me this part of this until now, yeah, you know what I mean, but just hearing it as an outsider, like I can see it because I know how- many times you've just kind of swallowed your feelings for certain people, because you just or you try to say what you want to say and you just get shut off.

00:37:26.291 --> 00:37:42.798
Yeah, some people just don't want to hear, understand or process reality, and Angel was one of those people, unfortunately reality and angel was one of those people, unfortunately.

00:37:42.818 --> 00:38:05.409
So, following this part, after I have ugly, cried and bared my soul, um, she goes through this process, making sure that all of my chakras are completely cleared, in case there's anything else that possibly wasn't necessarily the reason for me being there, but could be holding me back a little bit on my healing journey.

00:38:05.409 --> 00:38:19.027
So she'll go through and kind of check everything and make sure that all my checks and balances are good and then she goes through basically what they call a soul retrieval.

00:38:19.027 --> 00:38:27.409
So she will actually sit at the foot of the bed and I continue to lay down and continue to meditate.

00:38:27.409 --> 00:38:46.688
It's interesting to me because I don't have the ability to meditate if I do it on my own, but when I'm there in her safe space, I have the ability to meditate and I've tried on multiple occasions to try and meditate and I just can't get my brain to shut off.

00:38:47.036 --> 00:38:50.702
I was going to say I'm the same way, like I've tried.

00:38:50.702 --> 00:38:56.228
There was a phase where I'd try to get up early, like 4 or 5 in the morning and try to meditate.

00:38:56.228 --> 00:39:01.047
And I don't know, I could never really pull it off.

00:39:01.215 --> 00:39:09.059
I can't do it, but I can do it when I'm there in her safe space, for whatever reason, I melt into her bed and I am.

00:39:09.059 --> 00:39:18.768
I'm just meditating and I am not, uh, in tune enough with what she calls as my gift.

00:39:18.768 --> 00:39:21.291
And I have been told I have some gift.

00:39:21.291 --> 00:39:35.947
But I can tell you that when I'm laying there on this bed and she is doing her session, I can close my eyes and I can almost see pictures.

00:39:35.947 --> 00:39:48.286
I don't know what they are completely, and so Missy always tells me like you have to take my class, you have a gift, you have to do this, like you would be really good at this.

00:39:49.407 --> 00:40:01.909
I don't know what the messages are, I don't know what they mean, I don't know what the pictures are, but sometimes I can make out a couple of different pictures that are coming along and they just look like.

00:40:01.909 --> 00:40:05.960
The only way for me to explain this to you is like when you, when you stare at the sun.

00:40:05.960 --> 00:40:11.184
You know when you stare at the sun and then you like come back to and you can almost see like a kaleidoscope.

00:40:11.505 --> 00:40:16.277
Right Goodness.

00:40:22.456 --> 00:40:25.085
So that kaleidoscope is what I'm looking at during this meditation process.

00:40:25.085 --> 00:40:27.755
My eyes are completely closed and I can make out these tiny little pictures.

00:40:27.755 --> 00:40:40.237
In this in particular situation, I know that I saw a rose and I know that I saw a tiger or like a lion of some sort, like I could just see, like the shadow of it.

00:40:40.237 --> 00:40:50.958
I know that the rose is definitely probably I don't want to say definitely is probably representing Angel.

00:40:50.958 --> 00:40:54.625
She has a rose tattoo on her chest.

00:40:55.085 --> 00:41:10.623
She was very big about roses, loved roses, and so it's interesting that I can see these images coming forward and then I can only look at whether it be a tiger or a lion, that I too will overcome this.

00:41:10.623 --> 00:41:16.958
I will be the lion and overcome all of this, and that's the way that I am interpreting it.

00:41:16.958 --> 00:41:17.581
Yeah, doesn't mean anything.

00:41:17.581 --> 00:41:22.563
This, and that's the way that I am uh, interpreting it yeah, doesn't mean anything, but that's the way that I'm looking at it and interpreting it.

00:41:22.563 --> 00:41:40.693
So after, uh, she finishes, um, doing her soul retrieval, she always gives me the piece of paper and I have the piece of paper and I'm like I always look forward to it because I'm like all right, what is my I'm going to botch this word inanimate object.

00:41:40.693 --> 00:41:44.143
Okay, I think that's how you say it, inanimate object yeah.

00:41:44.264 --> 00:41:49.237
Okay, what is my medicine and what is my spirit animal Like?

00:41:49.237 --> 00:42:07.597
There's always those sort of things during these retrievals, sort of things during these retrievals.

00:42:07.597 --> 00:42:09.358
And so she goes to tell me that my, let me just get mine here.

00:42:09.358 --> 00:42:10.760
So she goes through and so there's a goal.

00:42:10.760 --> 00:42:12.342
Sorry, I forgot about that one.

00:42:12.342 --> 00:42:13.684
And then there's the other three.

00:42:16.648 --> 00:42:35.505
So my sole goal is and this is coming from the spirit guides, it can be coming from my ancestors, it can be coming from anyone who's upstairs in the higher good that is helping her guide me during this session and how to move forward from the session.

00:42:35.505 --> 00:42:52.360
This is how these answers come forward she will know her power to heal, she will hone the strength to move forward without the anger or disappointment.

00:42:52.360 --> 00:42:56.844
So that is my goal.

00:42:56.844 --> 00:43:01.869
Oh, and she will fly with freedom.

00:43:01.869 --> 00:43:04.012
So that was the end there.

00:43:04.012 --> 00:43:10.822
So then we move on to the heart and the throat chakra.

00:43:10.822 --> 00:43:16.969
So that is my inanimate object.

00:43:16.969 --> 00:43:21.824
I hate that word, and it was a seesaw, which is rather interesting.

00:43:21.824 --> 00:43:30.193
Yeah, because I look at it as to what Missy says, but I also look at it as, like the inner child for me.

00:43:30.534 --> 00:43:30.635
Right.

00:43:31.137 --> 00:43:33.755
The inner child playing on a playground Like I.

00:43:33.755 --> 00:43:39.005
That's me and that's what I'm trying to retrieve.

00:43:39.005 --> 00:43:41.516
Is that healing that little girl?

00:43:41.516 --> 00:43:48.722
So for her to come forward and say your inanimate object is a seesaw was rather interesting to me.

00:43:48.722 --> 00:44:06.061
It says it is time to keep balance, accept and forgive, and she will know her worth.

00:44:06.061 --> 00:44:14.559
So with the childhood seesaw it says my medicine is balance and it makes complete sense.

00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:43.371
I need to find my inner balance and I need to move forward, stay balanced and stay strong I like the part of like knowing your worth to you know, like you had mentioned um in there without anger and disappointment and you went in there with those words of feeling like you weren't enough.

00:44:43.590 --> 00:44:44.090
You know what I mean.

00:44:45.476 --> 00:44:48.742
We have one more, and that is the root chakra.

00:44:48.742 --> 00:44:52.335
So this is the spirit animal that comes forward.

00:44:52.335 --> 00:45:02.521
The spirit animal that comes forward, and it's always something new and it surprises me sometimes.

00:45:02.521 --> 00:45:06.563
But this one really caught me off guard.

00:45:06.563 --> 00:45:10.684
This one was an anteater.

00:45:10.684 --> 00:45:15.447
Never has she ever come forward and said an anteater.

00:45:15.447 --> 00:45:27.251
I've had a wolf, I've had a giraffe, I've had eagle, right after your dad had passed.

00:45:27.391 --> 00:45:39.172
I've had those type of animals, but for this one to come, forward as an anteater was so surprising to us, so put a little thought into it, yeah, yeah.

00:45:39.193 --> 00:45:42.478
So I'll read um, this one here.

00:45:42.478 --> 00:45:57.231
Um, so this one is to to walk safely upon mother earth, feel the healing energy of Mother Earth.

00:45:57.231 --> 00:46:03.525
So that is what the anteater is for.

00:46:03.525 --> 00:46:31.400
So basically, she was asking me to find myself grounded, to lean into nature, get out there and be one with the outdoors what makes this so eye-opening and sprinkles a layer of belief on here for anybody listening is there's two things.

00:46:32.362 --> 00:46:37.547
One of them would be on the day that we woke up the morning.

00:46:37.547 --> 00:46:46.126
We woke up when angel had passed, just a couple hours before you were to get the phone call with the news.

00:46:46.126 --> 00:46:47.409
What did you stumble upon?

00:46:48.516 --> 00:47:07.838
an infestation of ants walking down the wall, and the only reason why I noticed it was because there was a fat, thick line of them coming down the wall there was a massive infestation of ants coming out of our ceiling down the wall.

00:47:07.878 --> 00:47:10.963
We had never seen ants in our house, ever.

00:47:10.963 --> 00:47:17.003
Um we our house isn't very old, we just had this built, what maybe I don't know five, five years, six.

00:47:17.083 --> 00:47:18.226
I don't know, it's not that old.

00:47:19.655 --> 00:47:23.927
But a massive infestation of ants coming down the wall from the ceiling.

00:47:24.295 --> 00:47:27.686
Not even like from the back deck door or anything like that.

00:47:27.686 --> 00:47:29.302
Like it came from the ceiling.

00:47:29.954 --> 00:47:41.224
And to the point of like getting ant traps and nuking things and going to get, you know, ant spray and all this stuff and a couple hours later you would get the phone call.

00:47:41.224 --> 00:47:47.106
So for first off, you're a spirit animal.

00:47:47.106 --> 00:47:56.094
To be an ant eater when our house was infested with ants after Angel's death is beyond bizarre.

00:47:56.215 --> 00:48:04.304
There was also a couple of ants in her room when she was doing this and she was like I don't know where these damn ants come from.

00:48:04.304 --> 00:48:09.403
I don't have an ant infestation, and I didn't say anything about our ant infestation.

00:48:09.403 --> 00:48:13.166
They literally just came out and started walking around.

00:48:13.166 --> 00:48:15.360
She's like my last client.

00:48:15.360 --> 00:48:17.516
They came out for them too and then they go away.

00:48:17.516 --> 00:48:20.864
Like I literally have set traps, I can't find them, they disappear.

00:48:20.864 --> 00:48:28.918
And then all of a sudden, for certain people they'll just show back up and I was like for that to happen and then for her to tell me that I was an anteater.

00:48:28.918 --> 00:48:33.036
I was just like I don't even understand, like you can't tell me this stuff isn't real.

00:48:33.237 --> 00:48:34.340
no, and another one is.

00:48:34.340 --> 00:48:52.842
So you had told me that, and we were all in shock and I said there's one more thing that I don't know if you're realizing, and that is that, just like a day before, maybe two days before we were at my mother's house and the lawn had.

00:48:52.842 --> 00:48:56.811
I don't even know 50 birds on it.

00:48:56.811 --> 00:49:04.695
Like the lawn was covered in these birds and they were super cool birds and I'm looking at them and they had really long beaks, almost like a woodpecker.

00:49:04.695 --> 00:49:07.081
Yeah, we thought they were woodpeckers because they were pecking the ground.

00:49:07.335 --> 00:49:11.065
Yeah, but they were really interesting birds.

00:49:11.065 --> 00:49:11.987
They were beautiful.

00:49:11.987 --> 00:49:37.170
They had like I don't even know how to like try to describe the overall look of them, but like, uh, like a brindle type wing with a bright patch on the back of their head like a woodpecker would have like a red or an orange, like bright patch, but then when they would fly off some of them, their under wings were like fluorescent yellow.

00:49:37.269 --> 00:49:38.454
They were bright yellow, yeah, their wingspan.

00:49:39.577 --> 00:49:41.123
They were amazingly beautiful birds.

00:49:41.123 --> 00:49:42.400
I had never seen them before.

00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:49.706
There was like 50 of them on the lawn and I was mesmerized by them, so much so that me and Paisley were staring at them through the window.

00:49:49.706 --> 00:49:53.585
I brought her up to look at them and I had to research to figure out what they are.

00:49:53.585 --> 00:49:54.956
And they're northern flickers.

00:49:54.956 --> 00:49:56.117
And I had to research to figure out what they are.

00:49:56.117 --> 00:50:02.003
And they're northern flickers, and they are a member of the woodpecker family, but they are anteaters.

00:50:02.003 --> 00:50:04.766
The northern flickers are anteaters.

00:50:04.766 --> 00:50:09.451
They are pecking the ground to eat ants.

00:50:09.451 --> 00:50:27.739
So you imagine, angel Passes, we pick up an ant infestation in our house, then anteaters overtake our lawn in the form of birds and then your spirit animal is an ant eater yeah, it's so bizarre, just so totally wild to me yeah

00:50:28.882 --> 00:50:42.764
so, following this um session, uh, normally that's the end, normally that's the closure she, she does, you know, the soul retrieval and then we just end the session.

00:50:42.764 --> 00:50:50.998
Well, to my surprise, that's not going to happen.

00:50:50.998 --> 00:51:04.844
Mine and Missy's relationship during this journey has always ended with a drum solo Every single time.

00:51:04.844 --> 00:51:16.737
And I noticed when I walked in that her drum was not under her table as it always sat, and that sat with me.

00:51:16.737 --> 00:51:21.697
I was like, huh interesting, no drum solo today.

00:51:24.262 --> 00:51:41.876
The reason for the drum solo is because, during my healing journey, missy has had the opportunity to do an even deeper soul retrieval for me, to bring forward my ancestors, my heritage, my ancestors.

00:51:41.936 --> 00:51:53.581
And every single time they come forward it's an Indian chief and she's gone into great detail about each one of them.

00:51:53.581 --> 00:52:12.800
And my great grandfather was Indian and we have talked to Nana about what tribe he was a part of and I remember going to their house and seeing this beautiful headdress and everything and I just loved it so much.

00:52:12.800 --> 00:52:23.164
I was always drawn to feathers and I was always drawn to the Indian culture and Aztec and never knew why until I, you know, got a little bit older.

00:52:23.164 --> 00:52:24.887
So it makes sense.

00:52:24.887 --> 00:52:41.380
So Missy has always been drawn to do a drum solo and it is an old-fashioned drum that you would see the Indians around a fire pit just pounding on Like that's what it is.

00:52:41.380 --> 00:52:43.557
The first time Missy did it.

00:52:43.557 --> 00:52:53.784
She said to me like I have never taken a drum lesson in my life, I am not the one drumming, this is just your spirit guides and whatever comes forward.

00:52:53.784 --> 00:52:59.860
She says it's never the same for anyone, just your spirit guides and whatever comes forward.

00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:01.581
She says it's never the same for anyone.

00:53:01.641 --> 00:53:16.480
First time she ever did it it was that just standard drum solo that you would hear around a campfire, at a powwow of some sort, and then it just goes into a different direction.

00:53:16.480 --> 00:53:22.987
Well, to my surprise, missy said well, I'm not allowed to end this unless I go downstairs and get my drum.

00:53:22.987 --> 00:53:29.887
Your spirit guides will not let me end this session on this note.

00:53:29.887 --> 00:53:39.108
She had to go downstairs, get the drum and as I'm laying on the bed meditating, I can hear her coming up the stairs.

00:53:39.108 --> 00:53:59.266
Coming up the stairs, I can hear it and every single time I can feel it in my chest, I can feel just this tingling sensation go throughout my entire body.

00:53:59.266 --> 00:54:23.460
So she'll come in and she will take that drum and she will go from head to toe and she just does this synchronized drumming solo over me and she does every single time.

00:54:23.460 --> 00:54:31.246
And I had spotted that the drum was missing and I had said that to her afterwards and I said there is no way.

00:54:31.246 --> 00:54:36.271
There is no way in heck that she's not going to do it.

00:54:36.271 --> 00:54:37.972
She must have a new one, something.

00:54:37.972 --> 00:54:47.601
But it was not where she usually has it, under the table, and they were like if you think you're closing this session without that drum solo, you've got another thing coming ma'am.

00:54:47.601 --> 00:54:52.125
So after the session she does her drum solo.

00:54:52.125 --> 00:54:54.621
It's pretty amazing.

00:54:54.621 --> 00:55:10.692
I can feel it throughout my whole body the entire time as she's going up and down, I can feel almost like spirits just leaving your body, just kind of like releasing any last bit of tension, any sort of anything that you're holding on to, like.

00:55:10.692 --> 00:55:14.059
That drum solo, basically, is just sealing the deal.

00:55:14.059 --> 00:55:15.885
That's how she explains it to me.

00:55:15.885 --> 00:55:27.161
So we finish and she will always give me a glass of water which allows you to wash away and cleanse anything left.

00:55:30.005 --> 00:55:46.778
And she explained to me that during this session me that during this session, angel had taken the time to come forward.

00:55:46.778 --> 00:56:06.277
And that was interesting to me because I didn't exactly know if she would come forward in this because, like, we've talked about shamanic healing and Reiki deals with the upper world, so it's possible, like I've had my ancestors come forward, you've had people come forward, so it's a possibility.

00:56:06.277 --> 00:56:26.943
I didn't anticipate her coming, know her and what she explained to me was that Angel had come forward and she was angry.

00:56:26.943 --> 00:56:29.947
She was very angry.

00:56:29.947 --> 00:56:40.601
She was yelling at me, um, and in a very aggressive manner, and she she said stop what you're doing, stop what you're doing immediately.

00:56:40.601 --> 00:56:43.222
You're going to make her forget me.

00:56:43.222 --> 00:56:46.940
Missy dismissed it.

00:56:49.697 --> 00:57:09.864
Missy put a stop to her coming forward during my session because this was my session, this was my story, this was my opportunity to heal and move forward and deal with the trauma and situation that I was dealing with.

00:57:09.864 --> 00:57:26.909
I'm forever grateful for Missy for doing that, because there could have been a time where she could have invited her in and said let's just do this all at once, but she didn't and I'm thankful for that, because I had the opportunity to leave that session feeling free.

00:57:26.909 --> 00:57:38.070
I felt the freedom as my soul retrieval the first part of my soul retrieval says.

00:57:38.070 --> 00:57:42.844
She will know her worth and her freedom.

00:57:43.947 --> 00:57:44.108
Yep.

00:57:45.675 --> 00:57:52.708
So to me to leave there feeling like this weight has just been lifted off of my shoulders.

00:57:52.708 --> 00:58:23.880
I had a sense of feeling like that after the anger had settled, the day that it happened, when I was sitting out in the door yard and talking to people and explaining to everything, um, you know, I had gotten the strength, um, by seeing the red Cardinal, the blue Jay and Meme's bird, the little blue bird, um all join me in the door yard while I I'm talking to, to family members and kind of explaining what's going on.

00:58:23.880 --> 00:58:48.336
So I had that opportunity and I felt I don't want to say that I felt free at that moment I felt relieved, yeah, yeah, the anger was gone, the hurt, um, at that moment had kind of released and it was more of just being still, I guess you could say.

00:58:48.336 --> 00:59:00.175
But it was a 360 degree turn from that moment, monday to Wednesday, when I left.

00:59:08.199 --> 00:59:09.181
Monday to Wednesday, when I left, I felt free.

00:59:09.181 --> 00:59:09.983
I felt like I could take on the world.

00:59:09.983 --> 00:59:12.686
I felt so relieved, so free.

00:59:12.686 --> 00:59:24.050
And it's so hard to explain to people when they ask me, like we talked about earlier, how are you doing?

00:59:24.050 --> 00:59:34.771
I don't want to tell them that I'm doing great because I'm not, I'm not doing great, but I'm doing better than I expected because I've had the opportunity to sit down with Missy Sitting here today.

00:59:34.771 --> 00:59:36.804
I've had the opportunity to sit down with her twice now.

00:59:37.425 --> 00:59:40.681
Yeah, before you go any further, I have a few questions I want to throw out there.

00:59:40.681 --> 00:59:53.137
Yeah, one of them would be you're in the parking, you're in the driveway here and you're having these conversations and you have that sense of like a relief almost.

00:59:53.137 --> 01:00:03.514
And then you have that 180 degree spin where you're like kind of feeling a little more freedom when you come out of there.

01:00:05.403 --> 01:00:20.724
When you're forced to deal with things like you know calls from the police department, family interactions, you know memories, whatever when you're dealing with those things, does that at all bring you back?

01:00:20.724 --> 01:00:28.811
Does it derail the sense of freedom and relief that you experienced when you allow those things back into your world?

01:00:31.641 --> 01:00:41.248
At first, yeah, but dealing with it now, after my last session, I don't think it is as much.

01:00:41.248 --> 01:00:50.887
I think I can have those conversations and know that that's it you know what I mean.

01:00:50.907 --> 01:01:05.335
These are just conversations at this point um it can't layers that we'll dive into in future episodes of I don't know how to put this, but evidence information.

01:01:05.556 --> 01:01:05.775
Yes.

01:01:05.795 --> 01:01:08.320
Right, there's things that have come to fruition, correct.

01:01:08.320 --> 01:01:09.746
We know she committed suicide.

01:01:09.786 --> 01:01:09.907
Yes.

01:01:09.960 --> 01:01:12.268
We know she was researching suicide.

01:01:12.268 --> 01:01:17.472
Yes, we know she was telling everybody around her that she wanted to commit suicide.

01:01:17.612 --> 01:01:17.833
Yes.

01:01:18.119 --> 01:01:20.387
We have witnesses that are informative of this.

01:01:20.548 --> 01:01:20.768
Mm-hmm.

01:01:21.139 --> 01:01:22.987
Those things right, yeah.

01:01:22.987 --> 01:01:32.306
And then you know, having people come to you and be like your mother didn't overdose, didn't commit suicide, she overdosed, and we know the truth.

01:01:32.306 --> 01:01:43.311
And having these things and battling those things, dealing with you know a sloppy investigation from the police department, other things that will bring to the forefront in future episodes, Dealing with that frustration.

01:01:44.472 --> 01:02:06.342
family's opinions of things, people's negative opinion of you sharing your story, those things does that all rob you of your freedom, Because I've been worried for you that dealing with other people's nonsense, dealing with factual information versus false opinions, that it would derail all the positives that you've accomplished.

01:02:06.463 --> 01:02:06.965
You know what I mean.

01:02:06.965 --> 01:02:11.989
Yeah, no, that's a valid question and, to be honest with you, no, no, it's not robbing me of anything.

01:02:11.989 --> 01:02:19.956
Um, because at this point in my healing journey I'm doing great Um, and I refuse to let anybody take me back in any way, shape or form.

01:02:19.956 --> 01:02:24.501
You can voice your opinion and talk about your story how you feel fit.

01:02:24.501 --> 01:02:27.748
The evidence is the evidence.

01:02:27.748 --> 01:02:35.652
If those people don't want to look at the evidence where we have it point blank in front of us, that's on them.

01:02:35.652 --> 01:02:38.320
This is my way of healing.

01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:41.297
Whenever somebody wants to do or determine to heal, that's on them.

01:02:41.398 --> 01:02:42.663
Absolutely, I'm not going to bother that.

01:02:42.923 --> 01:02:51.489
Just don't force your opinion and philosophy on you when you're taking the correct steps and doing the right things to heal and to share your story.

01:02:51.489 --> 01:02:54.304
Absolutely, that just absolutely sets me off.

01:02:54.304 --> 01:02:57.251
So for my blood pressure to go through the roof.

01:02:57.251 --> 01:03:00.027
I don't know how it doesn't derail your healing.

01:03:00.307 --> 01:03:00.909
Sure Sure.

01:03:00.949 --> 01:03:10.121
For me processing, you know, death in my family if someone came to me you know what I'm saying Like I I would, I wouldn't react as calmly as you have.

01:03:11.443 --> 01:03:17.213
Yeah, I think it's just been a lot uh to process and a lot to swallow.

01:03:17.213 --> 01:03:26.523
I guess you can say Um, but I know that I'm on the right path and I have the right information and I'm healing the way that I know how to heal.

01:03:26.523 --> 01:03:30.713
And, like we've talked about, people heal differently and that's fine.

01:03:30.713 --> 01:03:36.429
But it's a valid question and the answer is no, it's not derailing me.

01:03:36.429 --> 01:03:37.980
I don't feel any type of way.

01:03:37.980 --> 01:03:56.815
I still feel free and I still feel that I have done anything and everything that I can do to support her and I also feel that I have done my part in sharing mine and her story, our story.

01:03:57.141 --> 01:03:59.530
There's no point in falsifying reality.

01:03:59.530 --> 01:04:05.708
You're not going to nobody's going to learn or change or gain anything by making a false narrative about what happened.

01:04:05.708 --> 01:04:07.585
Correct, you dealt with shit.

01:04:07.585 --> 01:04:10.387
You had a very difficult upbringing.

01:04:10.387 --> 01:04:12.586
It's made you who you are.

01:04:12.586 --> 01:04:14.586
Embrace it and share it Absolutely.

01:04:14.619 --> 01:04:21.347
Don't sugarcoat it with shit now, because you're trying to protect an image when they've done the damage on their own Correct.

01:04:21.347 --> 01:04:24.900
To protect an image when they've done the damage on their own Correct.

01:04:24.900 --> 01:04:31.635
The other thing for me, that was my instant reaction when you were talking to me and you said that Angel came forward and she was very angry.

01:04:31.635 --> 01:04:44.572
My instant thought goes into my religious beliefs and her reaction and for me it was, as we mentioned last week.

01:04:44.572 --> 01:04:50.121
Her biggest goal has been to be with her father ever since his death.

01:04:51.824 --> 01:04:59.326
And for me, and I don't know enough about Jesus Christ and the Bible to speak this into existence and the truth.

01:04:59.806 --> 01:05:13.085
But my would be if you are a drug addict and you intentionally take your life, you're not going to get granted the gates of heaven, you're not going to be reunited with your father.

01:05:14.469 --> 01:05:46.159
When you are intentionally taking your life, when you are intentionally sinning, you are an addict and you have punished your family and you've made these choices and now you're intentionally ending your life, hoping that I'm going to welcome you home and I'm going to reunite you, and I'm not saying and I don't know enough about this, I'm not saying she's never going to get there, but I'm just saying, when she came forward, get there.

01:05:46.159 --> 01:05:54.724
But I'm just saying, when she came forward in your session, my thoughts and wholehearted belief was Angel has not transitioned, she has not been accepted to heaven, she has not been reunited with her father and she's beyond pissed.

01:05:54.724 --> 01:05:56.869
That number one.

01:05:56.869 --> 01:06:00.481
I did this and I didn't get what I was looking for.

01:06:00.481 --> 01:06:16.335
And here you are, recovering, healing and moving on, when you should be paralyzed and just like the infestation of ants, I feel like as an addict.

01:06:16.335 --> 01:06:33.132
Her dying wish was to infest your life and to derail the beautiful house and life that you live and created, and I say house, as in the metaphor of these ants taking over a house, right?

01:06:33.380 --> 01:06:36.449
So I just think about those things.

01:06:36.449 --> 01:06:41.625
And my instant reaction was she's angry because she did not get what she wanted.

01:06:41.885 --> 01:06:52.155
She didn't make it, and that's that's valid Um, so I will express that I feel the same way, Um.

01:06:52.155 --> 01:07:11.804
I feel that she has a lot of, has a lot of work to do, um pertaining to forgiveness, um, before she can transition.

01:07:11.804 --> 01:07:17.438
There's a lot that she had to work on before you have the opportunity to meet up with your dad, your mom, your brothers, Nana all of those.

01:07:17.438 --> 01:07:21.550
You have some demons that you need to fight, not only here on earth, but in between.

01:07:21.550 --> 01:07:38.539
You have some demons that you need to fight not only here on Earth, but in between, and what I can tell you is that I've had the opportunity, with the guidance of Missy, to discuss some things with her and express some things with her.

01:07:46.679 --> 01:07:49.025
And we'll dig into that a little bit more on the next episode, because it's a heartfelt one.

01:07:49.025 --> 01:07:51.289
Yeah, I think every time you have one of these Reiki sessions, it, it is, uh, it's powerful.

01:07:51.650 --> 01:08:21.125
It's heartfelt, it's emotional and, um, it's incredible what we've covered today on just your first session and the symbolism that's been there, and um, it's just, it's powerful and it just makes me believe in those things and, um, this whole journey that we've gone through has made us leading up to this, and this particular story, too, has made both of us more, um, inquisitive to our faith.

01:08:21.125 --> 01:08:22.280
You know, leaning more into both of us, more inquisitive to our faith.

01:08:22.280 --> 01:08:46.400
You know, leaning more into, into our faith and wanting to learn more about the Bible and all these different things and just connecting these dots, it just I don't know, we're here for a reason and just, I don't even know how to put it into words, but all of this just made me believe that much more you know.

01:08:46.501 --> 01:08:58.815
all of it just made me believe and I hope that sharing this story and these things as we continue to dig into this for you and your healing, that it allows other people to believe and to lean into their faith as well.

01:08:58.815 --> 01:09:03.229
So I really hope that today's message empowers people to do that.

01:09:03.229 --> 01:09:11.500
And as much as you've spoken of you know, like this Reiki, shamanic Reiki, stuff that you've been going through.

01:09:11.500 --> 01:09:21.149
It makes me want to look into it someday in my life because it's just I can see the power that it has and like just how important it is to you and the impact it's had on you.

01:09:21.149 --> 01:09:21.711
You know what I mean.

01:09:22.974 --> 01:09:26.270
Yeah, no, it's definitely been super powerful.

01:09:26.270 --> 01:09:27.341
And.

01:09:28.082 --> 01:09:35.435
I recommend anyone who's interested in healing in any way, shape or form.

01:09:35.435 --> 01:09:51.462
It doesn't have to be all death, it can be trauma, it can be anything, this creates a whole new opportunity, an alternative to healing for people, that's not a psychiatrist that you have to countlessly relive your story with that, you know.

01:09:51.483 --> 01:09:56.060
Reiki is very holistic, so they're not going to throw medicine down your throat.

01:09:56.060 --> 01:10:01.171
Um, it's very powerful how much you can get out of one session.

01:10:01.171 --> 01:10:03.261
I mean one session isn't going to be enough.

01:10:03.261 --> 01:10:08.190
I will hands down, hand on the cabela's catalog, eye to the sky.

01:10:08.190 --> 01:10:10.122
It's not going to be enough for anyone.

01:10:10.122 --> 01:10:13.373
Just like one therapy session isn't going to be enough.

01:10:13.373 --> 01:10:16.724
But you'd be surprised how much you can get out of one session.

01:10:16.743 --> 01:10:20.381
For me it's we're not writing an antidepressant script, right?

01:10:20.381 --> 01:10:26.087
We're not giving you a counselor that maybe in six months or a year you're going to have a new one and you're going to start all over again.

01:10:26.087 --> 01:10:33.907
And you're just going to go in and talk about things and hope that you relive them and release them, but there's nothing there to release.

01:10:33.907 --> 01:10:34.469
You know what I mean?

01:10:34.469 --> 01:10:36.904
Like it's you're not connecting with certain things.

01:10:37.405 --> 01:10:46.103
The nice thing about Reiki is when you go into your session, the point is, as we spoke about, to set an intention and rewrite the story.

01:10:46.103 --> 01:10:55.181
So my, with the words anger and hurt, I rewrote the story with freedom to be free.

01:10:55.181 --> 01:11:01.368
That's how I rewrote the story and I left there feeling just those things.

01:11:02.949 --> 01:11:10.581
You know for me one of the things that encouraged me to say to you I think you should book an appointment is.

01:11:10.581 --> 01:11:19.770
You came home and you were doing okay and you looked at our little girl and you started to break down.

01:11:19.770 --> 01:11:38.127
Yeah, and every time you would come to her and look at her, you would break down and say how could somebody not love her, how could somebody not give her everything that she needs, how could somebody not be there for her?

01:11:38.127 --> 01:11:41.889
And you kept putting yourself in her position.

01:11:42.149 --> 01:11:59.170
Yeah her and you kept putting yourself in her position, and it was the first time that you've really have gone through these things and you have your own daughter to look at and question all the anger, all the hurt, all the abuse, all the neglect and say man, how could you do that?

01:11:59.430 --> 01:11:59.612
Yeah.

01:12:00.060 --> 01:12:04.671
Because now you have your own daughter and you were questioning how can somebody do this?

01:12:04.671 --> 01:12:08.288
And seeing that pain in you.

01:12:08.288 --> 01:12:24.573
That's when I suggested it, Because I always want her to be a symbol of love and hope and opportunity and promise and not trigger or remind you of the things that weren't given to you.

01:12:24.573 --> 01:12:32.894
Right, you know, and I saw the pain that it caused and I never want you to come to your daughter and feel pain.

01:12:33.060 --> 01:12:48.547
And I understood it was nothing about her, but it was a symbolism of man, I couldn't imagine treating her the way I was treated as a child, right, couldn't imagine treating her the way I was treated as a child.

01:12:48.568 --> 01:12:51.274
So that could build up and bubble over as some real serious inner anger.

01:12:51.274 --> 01:12:51.614
Absolutely yeah.

01:12:51.854 --> 01:12:52.877
That was my fear for you.

01:12:53.720 --> 01:12:55.784
Absolutely, and I can understand that, but that could happen.

01:12:55.784 --> 01:13:07.050
So for you to very quickly get on the horn and work out that appointment and just the relief you came home with you know and um, it's been incredible.

01:13:07.069 --> 01:13:10.421
I look forward to you sharing part two of this, your next appointment.

01:13:10.421 --> 01:13:17.623
I look forward to you, um, sharing that and I'm so excited because I've heard you talk to other people about this.

01:13:17.623 --> 01:13:33.228
Um, for whatever trauma they're trying to get through loss they're trying to get through, anything you would go to a counselor for, or somebody would prescribe you a script for you can look into, you can dig into and you can try to rewrite that story of you.

01:13:34.109 --> 01:13:35.020
Absolutely yeah.

01:13:35.020 --> 01:13:39.603
No, you can definitely lean on Reiki, shamanic healing.

01:13:39.603 --> 01:13:42.291
Definitely look into it for sure.

01:13:44.920 --> 01:13:52.123
Well, the hits just keep on coming, keep coming on here, sharing, sharing the good gospel and I'm proud of you for opening up yet again and sharing some things.

01:13:52.123 --> 01:13:57.725
And, just like last week, there's this is an episode that can that can change the direction for some people.

01:13:57.725 --> 01:14:09.152
I am so confident there's going to be some people listening that are going to reach out either to you or do their own research in their local area looking for the shamanic Reiki instructor.

01:14:09.152 --> 01:14:10.975
Absolutely.

01:14:11.060 --> 01:14:12.565
If you're looking for one and you're in Maine?

01:14:12.565 --> 01:14:13.207
Let me know.

01:14:13.207 --> 01:14:15.346
Missy is right here in Bedford Pool.

01:14:15.920 --> 01:14:23.094
This could be the catalyst for change in people, to help them heal, to help them process, to help them move on and recover.

01:14:23.094 --> 01:14:33.466
So, again, we're just sharing more things that we feel can make a positive impact, and for doing that I thank you, for coming on here and continuing to educate.

01:14:34.280 --> 01:14:40.048
I thank you for letting me come on here and I am sorry for the people to have to listen to me again.

01:14:41.521 --> 01:14:48.484
You know what you're going to get it Until the next time, folks, Thank you for supporting my American dream.

01:14:49.707 --> 01:14:52.573
You filthy savage.

01:14:54.801 --> 01:14:56.720
That's it and that's all Biggie Smalls.

01:14:56.720 --> 01:15:23.229
If you're a Loud, proud American and you find yourself just wanting more, find me on YouTube and Facebook at Loud, proud American, or the Face page, as my mama calls it.

01:15:23.229 --> 01:15:30.431
If you're a fan of the Graham Cracker, you want to find me on Instagram, or all the kids by tickety-talking on the TikTok.

01:15:30.431 --> 01:15:37.872
You can find me on both of those at loud, underscore, proud, underscore American.

01:15:37.872 --> 01:15:47.645
I'm not talking about myself.

01:15:47.645 --> 01:15:54.152
A big old thank you to the boys from the Gut Truckers for the background beats and the theme song to this here podcast.

01:15:54.152 --> 01:15:58.788
If you are enjoying what you're hearing, you can track down the Gut Truckers on Facebook.

01:15:58.788 --> 01:16:00.326
Just search Gut Truckers.

01:16:00.326 --> 01:16:02.688
Give them, motherfuckers, a like too.

01:16:02.688 --> 01:16:15.389
I'm not talking about myself.

01:16:15.389 --> 01:16:18.891
I'm not talking about myself on Facebook.

01:16:18.891 --> 01:16:20.592
Just search Gut Trucker.

01:16:20.592 --> 01:16:23.055
Give them motherfuckers a like too.

01:16:23.055 --> 01:16:25.917
I truly thank you for supporting my American dream.

01:16:25.917 --> 01:16:31.309
Now go wash your fucking hands, you filthy savage.